The Child No One Wanted
by ObsessedSVUONCER
Summary: When Olivia Benson arrived in family court earlier than she needed to be there she never expected to be leaving as a legal guardian. 13 year old Genesis Craig has grown up made to think she's unwanted since the age of 3. She trusts no one. She has deep, painful secrets. Copes in her own way. Can Olivia be the exception? Eventual A/O. TRIGGER WRN: SH/ED M for later BenBot action
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story idea has been swimming around in my head for awhile now. And I couldn't sleep last night so I went ahead, and wrote up the first chapter. Happy Reading :).**

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**Chapter 1: Genesis Craig**

When Detective Olivia Benson walked into judge Marsden's court room she had no idea how different her life was going to be from that day on. She was earlier than she was expected to be there to give testimony on her case so she decided to sit in on the on going session.

She walked in, and sat in the back of the courtroom nearest the door. She observed quietly, what seemed to be another juvenile delinquent. But as she listened she learned differently.

"Genesis" judge Marsden began "I must say I'm very disappointed to see you today. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Olivia turned her attention to the thin, light skinned girl, curious as to what someone her age had done to have gotten into so much trouble as to be brought before a judge. 'She can't be older than 13' she thought to herself.

"I'm not happy to see you either lady. Just send me back to the group home or whatever." Genesis smarted off.

"Where are your foster parents? Don't they know where you are?" judge Marsden inquired.

"Do you see them here? No. You know why? Because they don't care. They're getting money, and that's all they care about" the girl said folding her arms across her front.

The judge closed the case file on her desk, and brought her hands together. She stared at the girl for a moment before speaking again.

"We can't have that can we? If I get you a more suitable foster home with the possibility of permanent placement will you clean up your act?" judge Marsden asked locking eyes with the girl.

"Permanent?" the girl scoffed "No one wants me" she said quieter than her last statement.

The judge waved her hand in dismissal of the girl's statement.

"Even so, you will be serving 50 hours of community service at the store you shoplifted from."

Just then the doors burst in, and Olivia guessed them to be the girls deadbeat foster parents.

"Forgive us your honor" the woman spoke "Genesis ran away, and we had no idea where she had been. Please don't take her from us we love her."

'Bullshit' Olivia thought as she watched this sickening display of a "loving couple".

"If you care for the child why didn't you notify Special Victims when you realized she was missing?"

"Well...we...she...uh..." they began fumbling for words.

"Enough!" Marsden said slamming her gavel.

What could they say? They were caught, and ACS would be notified.

"Genesis, do you want to go with them?" judge Marsden asked.

"Please don't send me back to them" the girl immediately responded.

"It's either them, or another night in the detention center unless you can find someone more suitable than them" Marsden said firmly.

The girl looked at her foster parents, tension radiating off of her body. Anyone could tell she didn't want to go with them.

Genesis would do anything to escape her hell she'd been living in for the past 3 years with the Lambert's. She saw Olivia out of the corner of her eye as she eyed her foster parents with distaste. She thought Olivia seemed nice, trustworthy.. and maybe the only person to come into her life that wouldn't hurt her. Before she could really give it any thought she pointed at Olivia.

"What about her?"

Those words rang out in Olivia's mind as her mouth hung open. She was in total shock. She didn't even know what to think.

Marsden was also in equal surprise. Genesis had attachment issues and trusted no one. For her to hand pick Olivia seemed a miracle to the judge.

"Ahh yes detective Benson... Very nice choice Genesis. Let's ask her if she'll have you. Detective will you please come forward?"

Olivia still in shock said nothing as she left her seat, and made her way to the bench.

"Detective Benson, will you take responsibility for this child until another family or permanent residence becomes available?" Marsden asked Olivia.

Olivia swallowed, opened her mouth as if to speak then closed it again. She looked at Genesis, and saw fear, nervousness, and a hint of hurt in the girls face. She wondered what this child has been through. She wondered what the girl saw in her that made her pick her. To Genesis it seemed like hours had passed before the woman spoke but it had really only been a couple of moments.

"Yes your honor."

At that statement Genesis breathed a sigh of relief. But she also told herself 'don't get too comfortable, and don't get attached. She probably just said yes because she didn't want to hurt your feelings seeing as you put her on the spot. No one wants you. So just keep your distance'.

"Very well then. Temporary custody for Genesis Craig is awarded to Olivia Benson. Case dismissed!" Marsden said slamming down the gavel, standing and clearing her post.

"Detective? A moment in my chambers please" Marsden said gruffly.

Olivia took another look at the girl before following the judge into her office.

Marsden made herself comfortable in the chair behind her desk, and gestures for Olivia to sit before going forward.

"That has never happened. Genesis has been in and out of my courtroom since she was 3 years old, and she has never taken a liking to anyone. She must see something in you." Marsden beamed at Olivia.

"Since she was 3? My God what happened to her?" the words left Olivia's mouth faster than she meant them to.

"When she was 3 years old her mother went crazy, and tried to drown her, and her twin sisters. She's a triplet. The neighbors heard the girls screams, and called the police. They arrived in time for Genesis but it was too late for the other 2" Marsden explained.

Olivia sat there quietly. Absorbing all the information she could so she could have a better idea how to care for the girl.

"She has been through all forms of abuse, sexual, and physical. She has denied the sexual abuse. Olivia, she has attachment issues and will try to keep you at arms length. She's never known what real love is. I hope you can show her. And maybe you can open her up. Shes got so much locked inside. If you read her file it would break your heart what she has been through" Marsden said quietly pushing the thick file towards Olivia.

Once she gave it a good once over and had a better idea of what she was taking on she pushed the file back towards the judge.

"I will try my best your honor." Olivia said standing to leave.

When she reached the lobby outside of judge Marsden's courtroom she saw Genesis sitting on a bench looking off into space. She decided she had better get introductions out of the way before she had to testify in court. She walked up to the girl, and gently placed her hand on her shoulder. Genesis flinched at first, and Olivia removed contact but still remained close. She knelt down in front of the girl to catch her eye. But the girl looked away from her.

"Hello Genesis I'm Olivia." Olivia said softly.

Genesis looked at Olivia a moment before swallowing and speaking for the first time.

"Hello" Genesis said bringing her dark brown eyes to meet Olivia's.

What Olivia saw in her eyes shattered her heart and caused her chest to ache. And then and there she told herself she would love and protect this girl if given the chance. She felt an overwhelming immediate sense of love for this stranger child course through her body. She would save her. She wouldn't fail her like all the others that had been entrusted to take care of her.

**Genesis, and Olivia have a long journey ahead of them... Reviews are love :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: There's some ED/SH triggers in this chapter, and I am by no means trying to cause anyone a relapse or hurt anyone so if you're sensitive to it please skip those parts. Happy reading :)...**

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**Chapter 2: Caught**

After Olivia and Genesis left the courthouse they headed to the station house. When they got there, they headed through the doors. Olivia had been watching Genesis, and making sure she didn't make any sudden movements. When Genesis stopped when they walked through the squad doors, Olivia whispered to her reassuringly.

"It's ok sweetie, this is where I work. I just have to pick up a couple of things, and then I'll take you home"

Genesis's eyes widened with horror, and she turned to run from the squad-room. Olivia went right behind her wrapping her tiny frame in her arms when she caught up to her.

"NOO! No! Put me down!" the young girl flailed in Olivia's arms trying and failing to get out of her grasp.

"Calm down sweetie. Shh...You're safe! No one here is going to hurt you" Olivia said as Genesis slid from her arms onto her hand and knees.

"Y-you mean you're not taking me back to the Lambert's?" She asked softly still facing away from Olivia.

Olivia's eyebrows rose as she realized that's what the girl must of thought when she said "home".

"Is that what you thought? No honey if I have my way you will never go back to them, ok?" Olivia said moving in front of Genesis so she could look into her eyes prepared for the distrust, unease, and hurt she would see there.

"Ok" Genesis said getting up from the floor.

"Cmon. I just have to pick up some things from here and we can go" Olivia said omitting the word home.

As they stepped back into the squad-room Olivia realized she would have to earn Genesis's trust and that it was going to be no easy task. All her experience with victims told her this was different. Not only was the girl a victim but she was also temporarily hers.

When they got to Olivia's desk Fin looked up confused.

"Hey Liv, what's with the kid? Is she a vic? Where's her parents?" He asked getting up heading over to her desk.

"She's my foster daughter Fin."She answered, gathering her bag and a few case files off of her desk.

"Huh? When did you get a kid?" He asked confused by the news.

Amanda chose that moment to return from the interrogation rooms.

"Liv has a kid?" Amanda asked.

"Screw you Fin." She said to Fin.

"We'll talk about it later" She snapped at Amanda clearly irritated by all the questioning.

"Welcome to the family baby girl" Fin offered his hand to Genesis. He must have done it rather suddenly because she jumped back.

"I'm sorry to scare you. I'm Fin. Who are you sweetie?" He asked still offering his hand.

Genesis looked up at Olivia, at Fin's hand, and back at Olivia. Olivia nodded.

"It's ok Genesis it's just a hand. He's not going to hurt you" Liv said softly.

Genesis gave Fins hand a quick shake. Captain Cragen walked out of his office, seeing Olivia back at her desk then realizing she wasn't alone.

"Genesis that's a pretty name" Fin smiled at the young girl.

"Olivia can I see you in my office?" Cragen asked.

Olivia got Genesis seated at her desk before walking into her captains office. When she shut the door behind her he started rolling off the questions.

"Olivia is she a vic? What's her story? What's going on? Have you notified her parents?" Cragen asked sitting in his chair.

Olivia sat in one of the chairs across from his desk before she began.

"Captain she's not a victim... I mean she is but...um, she's my foster daughter captain. She doesn't have any parents. As of right now I'm all she has. I would like to take some time off" Olivia said crossing her legs, and folding her hands into her lap.

Cragen eyed her silently. In all the years Olivia had worked in his unit she had never asked for time off.

"How much time would you like?" He asked.

"How much time can I have? You see I'm not sure when I'll be back. I feel like I'm going to be busy with her" Olivia said swallowing, and uncrossed her legs.

"Why don't you just take 2 months paid, and we can take it from there? No need to rush Liv" Cragen said as he watched her stand to leave the room.

While Olivia was in the captains office Genesis remained at her desk quietly observing her environment. She worried Olivia was getting in trouble for taking her in. 'She's going to find out why you're bad, and eventually she'll beat you too. She'll get tired of you, and throw you away like the rest of them have' she told herself. She heard the door to the room Olivia had gone into open behind her and she spun around.

Cragen waved at her and smiled. She looked to Olivia unsure of what was coming next. Olivia walked over to her, and retrieved her bag and files once again.

"You ready?"Olivia asked.

Genesis just nodded.

"Ok. Let's go" She said gently.

Genesis followed Olivia out of the building wondering what was going to happen next. On the way to Olivia's apartment she stopped and picked up Chinese food hoping Genesis would like it. 'Everyone does. Right?' she thought as she brought the bag of food back to the car.

"Can you hold this in your lap for me?"She asked.

Genesis remained facing out the window but nodded, and allowed Olivia to place the bag in her lap before folding her hands over it gently.

"Do you like Chinese?" Olivia asked.

Genesis looked over at her and nodded. What wasn't in Genesis's file was that she had an eating disorder. She would alternate between bulimia and anorexia, and at times she would also hurt herself.

Genesis cringed at the thought of having to eat. Let alone in front of anyone. She sat there reasoning with herself 'Ill eat, and as soon as I can I'll get rid of it. No one has to know. No one knows. This is still my secret'.

They got to Olivia's apartment building, and Genesis followed her up the stairs. Her thought being 'at least I'll be getting plenty of exercise living here. However long that will be'.

Olivia unlocked the door, and held it open letting Genesis in first. Genesis still had hold of the bag of food, and looked at Olivia to tell her what to do with it. Olivia caught on and had her set it down on the counter top.

"Ok let me show you where you'll be staying and the rest of the place"Olivia said flicking on more lights.

"Down this hall is my bedroom, to your right is the bathroom, and next to the bathroom is the room you can sleep in. You can put your bags in there now. The doorway off the living room is my office, and then the living room, and kitchen. Make yourself comfortable." Olivia said giving Genesis a tour.

Genesis put her bags in the room Olivia showed her, and followed Olivia back into the kitchen where Olivia was taking boxes of food out of the brown paper bag.

"There's orange chicken, honey walnut shrimp, fried rice, noodles, wontons, and spring rolls. Help yourself." Olivia said pulling down plates, and cups.

Olivia opened up the refrigerator and realized she would have to go grocery shopping soon.

"I don't have any soda or juice or anything. Would you like some water?"

Genesis looked up at her from arranging her plate and nodded.

"Yes, please" She answered quietly.

Olivia pulled out 2 water bottles, and headed over to the table. When Genesis joined her at the table Olivia eyed her plate curiously. Genesis had a little of everything on her plate, that wasn't the problem. She had at least a spoonful of rice, a spoonful of noodles, 2 pieces of orange chicken, 2 pieces of shrimp,1 wonton, and 1 spring roll. Olivia handed Genesis her bottle of water, and dug into her food.

Olivia kept taking glances as she watched Genesis eat. She wanted to ask her if she was still hungry, and why she had eaten everything in order but she decided to drop it. She had long ago finished her food, and just sat there playing with her empty water bottle, waiting for Genesis to finish.

When Genesis finished she gulped down her water bottle, got up, and put her plate and fork in the sink. Olivia looked at her watch and saw that it was 5 o' clock. She had no idea when the girl would go to bed, and she didn't feel right in forcing her.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Olivia asked cautiously.

"No thank you. I'm really tired, if you don't mind I'd just like to take a shower, and go to bed." Genesis answered politely.

Olivia nodded.

"Ok. Let me get you some towels" She said opening a door in the hallway.

She handed the girl some towels and then decided to leave her alone.

Once Genesis grabbed one of her bags from the room she was staying in she locked herself in the bathroom. She dropped the towels to the floor, turned on the shower, and rushed over to the toilet. She bent over, shoved 2 fingers to the back of her throat until she felt herself gag and watched as the food poured from her. She repeated the action until she dry heaved. She stood in front of the mirror wiping puke from her face, smiling, proud of what she had done. She went back over to her bag, and grabbed a razor.

She stripped down, and looked at herself. She hated everything she saw. She got into the shower, and began cutting away at her skin. As she cut she felt hot tears stream down her face, and she told herself 'you deserve this you ugly, fat little bitch'. When she was finished. She looked around the bathroom making sure there was no evidence of what she had done, and then left the bathroom.

Once her head hit the pillow she fell fast asleep, glad to be in a warm bed for the night. She was so exhausted.

Olivia sat in the living room flipping through the channels. She was thinking about Genesis and how she desperately wanted to help her. She checked the time, and saw that it was after 10 o' clock. She hadn't heard from Genesis since she showered, and thought she should go check on her. She crept up to the door, and pressed her ear to it hearing nothing. 'The girl is sleep Olivia' she told herself. But she still quietly pushed open the door.

When she did she saw Genesis asleep on the floor bundled in the covers. She debated on leaving her there, and getting her back into bed. She kneeled down next to her, and slowly peeled back the cover. The light from the hallway making Genesis quite visible, and that's when Olivia saw the cuts. She brought her hand up to her mouth. 'Oh my God! Self harm wasn't in her file' she thought to herself. She rubbed Genesis's back.

"Why are you on the floor sweetie?" She whispered.

Genesis rolled over and whimpered.

"Please. Please no. I don't want to do it anymore. Please don't hurt me." She mumbled.

Olivia shook herself at what she just heard, and tried to wake her again. She shook her gently.

"Genesis...Genesis honey wake up" She said a little louder than before.

Genesis sat up with a start.

"NO!" She screamed.

Then she looked around, and saw Olivia beside her. She scooted away until her back met the edge of the bed. She pulled her knees up to her chest, and starting rocking herself back and forth.

"Please don't hurt me" She cried.

Olivia's heart broke as she cautiously moved closer to her.

"Genesis I will never hurt you. Ok? You have to trust me please. Get back in the bed sweetheart. It's ok. You're safe now" Olivia said as she helped her up.

Once she had her back in the bed, she picked up the covers, and laid them over her. She kept her distance-even though all she really wanted to do was hold her- as Genesis fell back to sleep. She left the room leaving the door open.

She sauntered into her own room. Sitting on the edge of the bed. It dawned on her then that she had her work cut out for her reaching this girl.

Olivia jolted awake from a noise she heard. She got out of bed, and made her way towards the noise. Genesis was screaming in her sleep.

"STOP! STOP! NOOO! PLEASE!" Genesis screamed.

Olivia rushed over to her side. And shook her awake. Genesis sat up, looked at her, and untangled herself from the covers before dashing away and locking herself away in the bathroom. Olivia followed after her.

She knocked on the door.

"Genesis, Honey please let me in I can help you!" She said jiggling the door handle.

Genesis did lock the door, but she didn't close it all the way. The door slowly opened, and Olivia was horrified at what she saw. Genesis was slashing away at her skin. The door banged on the wall as it fully opened, and Genesis turned to see Olivia staring at her open mouthed.

'Fuck! There goes one of my secrets!' She thought.

**Genesis has been caught cutting, what do you think Olivia will discover next? And Liv is still a bit away from gaining her trust. Don't be shy hit that review button. Reviews are love :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm on a roll with this one! Not sure where Ill take it after this. Happy reading...**

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**Chapter 3: Hurt Me**

They stood there staring at each other for a few minutes. Both pairs of dark brown eyes wide in surprise. Olivia snapped out of it first, her maternal instincts kicking in. She sprang into action.

She ran to Genesis, and wrapped her arms around her, using one hand to grab the hand with the razor adding pressure to force her to drop it. Genesis snapped out of her shock of being caught.

She started fighting against Olivia's hold. But Olivia was much stronger. So she started screaming.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! NOOOO!" Genesis tried squirming free again.

"Drop the razor sweetie. Let it go" Olivia said still squeezing her wrist.

"NOOO! GIVE IT!" Genesis wailed, still struggling against Olivia's grasp.

Eventually Genesis let go of the razor, and stopped struggling against her. She went completely still in Olivia's arms breathing heavily from exertion.

Olivia whispered reassuringly to her.

"It's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. I promise. I just want to help you."She said rocking her from side to side.

Genesis was not use to such contact. She didn't like it but she knew she couldn't fight it. She completely shutdown. What Olivia did next scared her shitless but she didn't fight against it. She froze.

Olivia kneeled down, and lifted the child into her arms carrying her away from the bathroom, and into her own room. Olivia was surprised at how weightless Genesis was. She wanted to question her, she wanted so much to comfort her but now she forced herself to focus on tending to her cuts.

She flicked the light on in her bedroom, and laid Genesis on the bed. When she was sure Genesis wouldn't try running from her ,she dashed to the bathroom grabbing the first aid kit from the cabinet. She returned a moment later with the kit.

She sat beside Genesis, and wasn't sure whether she should be concerned with the state she was in. Genesis was aware of what was happening around her. But she felt she was being traumatized, again. She wasn't used to soft touches, or hushed voices. So she kept repeating to herself 'Don't move, don't you dare move. If you stay still it will be over faster'.

Olivia carefully removed Genesis' pajama bottoms, and tried not to gasp when she saw the heavy bruises on her thighs. 'That bastard raped her. It was probably ongoing until she ran away.' She swallowed the lump in her throat and continued to tend to the cuts there. There was so much blood she decided to just put her in the tub.

Olivia slowly lifted Genesis' shirt from her body, and wasn't surprised to see the bruises on her upper arms, and shoulders. She guessed to be from being held down. But the bones showing through her skin was what worried her. The bones, her sunken in face, hollow eyes,and her scooped out stomach. All she wanted to do was cry. 'No wonder she doesn't trust anyone. Everyone who was supposed to love her and take care of her has hurt her or threw her away'she thought. She shook her head.

"Genesis, I'm just going to give you a bath ok? You don't have to be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you" She said softly.

Genesis didn't respond at all. She did bury her face in Olivia's neck when she felt herself in her arms again. Olivia's heart melted and she thought 'Maybe I'm finally getting her to trust me'.

Genesis thought'Maybe she really won't hurt me. But I still can't be too sure.'

Olivia sat Genesis down on her feet, and ran water into the tub. She turned her attention back to Genesis. She was standing there shaking. Olivia approached her slowly.

"Sweetie can you take off your tank top and shorts?" Olivia asked her cautiously.

Genesis just stood there staring at the filling tub. She was 3 years old again...

_**Genesis's memory**_

_"Mommy? Alexis? Isis?" she called as she crept to the bathroom door. She heard splashing of water, and pushed open the door. She saw her mother holding Alexis under the water, and Isis was laying still on the floor. She walked over to her sister and shook her.  
_

_"Isis get up get up". But Isis didn't move. She walked over to the bath tub where Alexis had been thrashing about but no longer was. "Mommy... What's wrong wit Isis, and Alexis ?" She asked as she watched her mother lift Alexis's lifeless body from the tub. She felt something was wrong. But she didn't know what. Then her mother had her in her arms. "Cmon Genesis get in the tub" Her mother cooed at her. She placed her in the tub, and placed her hands on her head forcing her under the water. 'I don't like this game.'she thought. The fought her way back up, and started screaming. Her mother dunked her again.  
_  
And then the memory was over. And her memory became her reality.

Olivia was totally unaware of Genesis's state of mind and placed her hand on Genesis's arm, and Genesis fought her still trapped in her past.

"MOMMY NO! ILL BE GOOD! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME LIKE ISIS AND ALEXIS!" She screamed wrapping her arms around Olivia, crumbling to the floor.

Olivia sat on the bathroom floor with her, pulled her into her lap, and rubbed soothing circles on her back. It was then she knew she never wanted to let Genesis go. She wanted to keep her. She wanted to show her that there is good in some people. She knew then she loved her. The child no one wanted was the one she wanted as her own.

"Shhh it's ok honey. She's not here! You're safe now" Olivia soothed her.

Genesis pushed away from Olivia. And looked around realizing she wasn't back in that awful place.

"Let's get you cleaned up, so I can tend to your cuts ok?" Olivia asked.

Genesis nodded, stood, removed her tank top and shorts, and turned stepping into the tub. Olivia stifled a gasp being unprepared for the bruises on her back. She pulled herself together, kneeled by the tub holding her washcloth.

"Can I wash your back?"

Genesis nodded again. Olivia lathered up the washcloth with soap and washed over her back with such tender care. She tried not to notice that barely a patch of skin on her wasn't black an blue. Genesis spoke softly.

"You really won't hurt me?" She asked.

Her voice quiet, and reserved.

"No. I will not... please trust me Genesis"Olivia said promisingly.

"Why not?" Genesis asked.

Olivia took in a deep breathe trying not to cry. 'She really believes she deserves to be hurt.' She thought.

"Because you deserve to be loved, and no matter how hard you try to push me away, I'm going to love you. I'm not going anywhere. You do not deserve to be hurt. What happened to you wasn't your fault" Olivia said.

'Yeah right. I deserved all of it' Genesis thought.

Genesis sucked in a breathe. She was too tired to fight anymore. Once the bath was over she dried herself off, and changed into a clean set of pajamas. Olivia cleaned, and bandaged her cuts, and got her settled back into bed without hardly any struggle.

Olivia cleaned the bathroom, and put the blood stained clothes in the wash. She picked up the razor from where it fell earlier, and put it in the bottom of the trash in the kitchen. She was tired-exhausted even- but she knew she wouldn't sleep. She found herself sitting in the chair in the corner of the room watching Genesis sleep.

She slept the rest of the early morning undisturbed. Olivia felt herself begin to dose off when there was a light knock on the door. She took one last look at Genesis before leaving to answer it.

"Who is it?" Olivia asked looking through the peephole.

There was a woman she had never seen before.

"Caralee Edwards. I'm Genesis's social worker"She said.

Olivia opened the door, and stood aside letting the woman enter.

"She's still asleep. Do you want me to wake her?" Olivia asked trying to keep her tone quiet.

"No. I came to talk to you.I'll be straight forward a child this damaged isn't easy to handle, and isn't very desirable Ms. Benson."

Olivia stood there staring at the woman. 'Is she fucking kidding?!' She thought. Olivia paused before speaking.

"Ms. Edwards I love Genesis. And I know it isn't easy getting her trust but I want to adopt her. And she's not damaged! She's broken. Everyone who was supposed to take care of her hurt her. But I won't let her get tossed back into the system." Olivia said sharply.

Ms. Edwards stood staring at Olivia. Usually people are begging her to take Genesis back after the first night.

"What are your intentions for this child Ms. Benson?" Ms. Edwards asked staring Olivia down.

'Are you fucking serious?! I'm a damn cop! Maybe you should've questioned the Lambert's with such intensity' Olivia raged internally. She steeled her voice.

"I just told you Ms. Edwards I love her, and I want to adopt her."

"How can you love her? She has only been with you over night..and I'm sure she's kept her distance of you."Ms. Edwards scoffed.

"How can I not?" Olivia retorted.

"Well the fact you are a detective with a clean record would rule in your favor. But there are home visits, and paperwork. I have to see how you interact with her, and get a feel on how she takes to you. But Ms. Benson you really are taking on a lot. She's got years of abuse"

"I know. I read her file. Who better than me? I have experience with victims. I won't let any harm come to her ever again. I will fight for her. I want her" Olivia said firmly.

"I see there's no changing your mind. I also read she hand picked you? Maybe you are a good fit for her. I'll recommend that this adoption starts process. Goodluck Ms. Benson" She said letting herself out of the apartment.

**Looks like maybe Olivia might be breaking through to Genesis. But we've still got a long way to go, and some more secrets to be uncovered. Reviews are love :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Genesis opens up a little bit more in this chapter. Happy reading :)**

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**Chapter 4: Ok, I was raped**

After Ms. Edwards had left Olivia fell asleep on the couch. She woke not long afterwards because she heard soft shuffling. Her first thought was Genesis. She rushed down the hall, and opened the door to Genesis' room.

Genesis was packing her bags and looked up when Olivia pushed the door open.

"What are you doing?" Olivia asked.

"Packing." Genesis said avoiding her eyes.

Olivia stepped into the room.

"Why? Talk to me." She said slowly stepping closer to her.

"Because...I-I can't" Genesis said looking to the floor.

Olivia moved even closer.

"Yes you can. You can talk to me" She pushed.

"You know I'm bad, you haven't hit me or..." she swallowed "You're going to get tired of me, and send me back like everyone else." she blurted out.

She turned towards Olivia and looked at her. Her big dark brown eyes bearing into Olivia's and piercing her heart.

"I want you to stay. I want to help you, but you have to let me in. I want to adopt you. I love you sweetie"  
Olivia said calmly.

Genesis looked at her open mouthed. 'What kind of game is she playing?' she thought. 'And if she's not playing...what does she want from me?' Genesis closed her mouth and stepped away from Olivia.

"I...no one has ever wanted me before" She said so low Olivia almost didn't hear her.

"I want you"Olivia said smiling at her.

"But...last night..."Genesis whispered.

"I think you have alot of things pent up inside of you, and when you're ready I want to hear all of it. I'm not going to give up on you. But I need you to trust me, and talk to me ok?" Olivia said.

She stepped closer to Genesis. And was relieved when she didn't step away. Genesis sat down on the bed.

"You want me? B-But why?You saw what I did. You saw me and you stopped me, and you held me. Why did you do it?" Genesis asked.

"Because that's what people do for the ones they love. I love you, and I will fight for you. No one is ever going to hurt you again" Olivia said lowering herself down beside the girl.

"Oh...maybe you shouldn't. It could be bad for you" Genesis said scooting away.

"Why not? Why do you feel that way?"Olivia said moving closer to her.

"If he finds me, he'll do it again, and hurt you too." Genesis said quietly.

"No. No one is getting near you. I'll protect you. Tell me. Tell me who he is, and what he did." Olivia said softly.

"He...didn't do anything. Just drop it ok?" Genesis snapped.

"You should know I've been at this for a longtime. I'm just as stubborn as you are. I know a victim when I see one. You can deny it all you want to but you were raped Genesis, and I'm judging by the bruises on your thighs, and all over your body it wasn't that long ago" Olivia said folding her arms across her front.

She could tell from the girls body language that she struck a nerve.

"N-no. You're wrong. I-I f-fell and...and nothing happened!" Genesis said.

"How long has it been going on?" Olivia pressed on.

She decided she would have to be patient and use the same tactics she uses on other victims.

Genesis looked at her and narrowed her eyes. She didn't understand why Olivia cared so much, why she wouldn't leave her alone? And she got angry but she didn't understand why. She jumped up from the bed.

"NOTHING HAPPENED!" She cried crossing her arms.

She began pacing back and forth in front of Olivia.

Olivia remained calm, she cracked her knuckles. She took a deep breathe, stood up and edged toward Genesis slowly.

"What happened to you wasn't your fault. I don't care if that's what he told you. He lied, he threatened you, and he hurt you. Please just tell me" Olivia said placing her hands on Genesis' shoulders.

"FINE! OK! I was...I was r-raped"Genesis shouted wrenching out of Olivia's grasp.

She turned, and ran from the room and out the front door. Olivia went right behind her. Genesis was halfway down the stairs by the time she caught up to her. She was sitting on the stairs crying, knees pulled up to her chest, rocking back and forth. Olivia sat beside her, and pulled her into her lap.

"NO" Genesis said trying to squirm out of her arms.

Olivia held tighter.

"Yes" Olivia said kissing her forehead.

Olivia held her tighter, and she fell apart then, and wailed in her arms.

Olivia hushed her, and rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"Please. Please just give up." Genesis said pushing against her.

"No." Olivia said shaking her head "Never."

"We need to do a rape kit. I'm going to take you to the hospital ok?" Olivia said.

"What's a rape kit?" Genesis asked looking up at Olivia.

"It's a way of collecting evidence. So I can catch the bastard who has been hurting you"Olivia said.

"What if I don't want to have one?" Genesis asked looking away from Olivia.

"I'll be with you the whole time sweetie. At least talk about it Genesis." Olivia begged.

"No."Genesis said shaking her head.

Genesis pushed away from Olivia, stood, and shook her head. She was feeling dizzy, and seeing 3 Olivia's in front of her. She turned, and took a step downstairs but she fainted.

Olivia watched her tumble down the stairs as if in slow motion. She ran to her.

"Genesis! What's the matter sweetie?" Olivia asked pulling the girl to her.

Olivia pulled out her phone and dialed 911.

"This is detective Olivia Benson. I need a bus. NOW" She shouted into the phone.

Once they got to the hospital the Drs and nurses worked fast and began clambering Olivia with questions.

"What happened?"

"I-I don't know. She fainted and tumbled down some stairs" Olivia said trying to keep herself together.

"Are you family?"

"She's my daughter." Olivia said.

She received some strange looks from the nurses. She knew what they were thinking.'But she's black'.

"She's my foster daughter I'm going to adopt her." Olivia bristled.

'Now do your damn job and find out what's wrong with my kid' she thought.

"How old is she?"

"13"

"Has she been sick?"

"Not since she's been with me."

"Her name ms...?"

"Benson. Her name is Genesis Craig."

"Date of birth?"

"June 17,1998"

"Ok. Great we can pull her medical records with this information"

"Do a rape kit" Olivia requested.

"Did she say she was raped?"

"Do the kit please" Olivia growled.

"Ok Ms. Benson. Now if you'll please go to the waiting room"

Olivia sat in the waiting room thinking about Genesis, and silently praying she was alright.

20 minutes later a Dr. approached her.

"Ms. Benson? I'm Dr. Goldman. We did a rape kit. She shows signs of longtime sexual assault. Her most recent was very brutal. I'll spare you the details but there are some major tears. She is extremely malnourished, and covered in bruises."

As much as Olivia wanted to say she knew most everything the Dr. told her she didn't. She stood and moved towards the Dr.

"Where is she? I want to see her. How long ago was the rape?Was there semen?"Olivia inquired.

"About 3 days ago. No semen she probably washed it away. She's still out. Resting comfortably. We'll keep her overnight to rehydrate her. And her electrolytes are a little off so I'll have her levels retested in the morning before discharge." said.

"So it's too late to give her drugs to prevent pregnancy, and STD's. Olivia stated.

"Sorry. Maybe she should've come forward sooner"Dr. Goldman said leaving the room.

His last sentence had her feeling like punching him square in the face. Olivia sat in the chair beside the bed, and held Genesis' hand.

"Please be ok. I'm new to this parenthood thing. And I need you to trust me, and talk to me. You're not a lost cause sweetie. I love you. I'm not giving up on you. Please just give me a chance." Olivia said.

Her only response was the beeping of the machines as she sat there watching Genesis sleep.

**Genesis is going to open up to Olivia more :). But there are many more twists, and turns coming their way. Reviews are love :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! Happy reading :)**

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**Chapter 5: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall**

The next morning Genesis woke up, and she didn't realize where she was. She looked around an saw Olivia in the chair beside her bed, holding her hand. She tried to pull her hand away, and Olivia woke up. She stood up and kissed her on the forehead.

"Hey sweetie how are you?" Olivia asked moving her hair out of her face.

"Where am I?" She croaked.

"You passed out. You're in the hospital." Olivia said calmly.

Genesis sat up, and kicked away the covers.

"I wanna go home. Please. Can we go?" She said. Her voice filled with panic.

Olivia placed her hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back against the bed.

"No sweetie" She said shaking her head. "We can't go right now."

Genesis flopped back down against the pillows. She eyed her IV. 'Thats probably full of calories' she thought. She crossed her arms across her chest.

"How long do I have to be here?" She asked tears welling in her eyes.

"It was just over night honey." Olivia said as she moved to sit on the side of the bed.

"Can't you tell them I'm feeling better?I dont like it here. I want to go home.P-please?" Genesis cried as hot tears streamed down her face.

"Shhh" Olivia said taking her in her arms. "It's ok honey."

Genesis hugged her back. She didn't know why but for the first time in her life she felt safe, and loved. As her sobs settled to hick ups, she looked up at Olivia.

"Olivia, p-please help me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Please don't give up on me!" She cried curling back into Olivia.

Olivia held her and gently patted her back.

"Oh Genesis, of course I'll help you. I love you. And there's nothing to be sorry about. I have to tell you something though" Olivia said quietly.

Olivia slowly pushed the girl away from her, so she could look into her eyes.

"What?" Genesis asked. Her voice sounding weak and vulnerable.

"They did a rape kit while you were unconscious. There wasn't any evidence to gather. I really think it's time for you to tell me what happened" Olivia said firmly.

"I said I didn't want one!" Genesis snapped throwing herself back against the pillows.

"Legally I gave consent for you. I know its painful, and hard but I really need you to tell me what happened ok?" Olivia said softly looking into Genesis' eyes.

"Fine. Fine I'll tell you. But not here" She threw her arms in the air gesturing to the room.

"Ok... We'll talk about it at home-"

Just then a nurse knocked on the door. When Olivia granted her entry, she came in pushing a tray with food on it.

"Were going to retest your levels, and let you out of here after you eat this" She said sliding the tray in front of Genesis. Raising it up.

Once she left Genesis looked at Olivia.

"I'm not eating this!" She said pushing the tray away from her.

"You need to eat. The Dr. Says you're malnourished"

Genesis scoffed. How could the Drs and everyone look at her and think she needed to eat? Were they blind? Did they not see all the fat all over her body?

"What I need to do is lose more weight" She muttered under her breathe.

"What?" Olivia said.

"Nothing. I'm still not eating that" She said scrunching up her nose.

Olivia opened her mouth to speak, and then snapped it shut.

"If you don't eat then you don't go home. Take it or leave it" Olivia said sternly.

Genesis sat there, mad as hell. 'Fine, I'll just puke it up when you leave then' she thought. She narrowed her eyes at Olivia, peeled back the cellophane and dug into the tray. 'This food tastes like shit' she thought.

Olivia watched her with pride. She ate everything on the tray. 'This motherhood thing isn't so bad' she thought.

"There I ate. Can you see if I can go home now? Please?" Genesis begged.

She turned her big brown eyes up at Olivia.

"Ok." Olivia smiled.

She reached for the call button, and rang a nurse.

"Yes. We'd like to get release papers" Olivia said over the intercom.

Genesis' eyes widened when she realized Olivia wasn't going to leave the room. She began to fidget. The food inside her body was equivalent to molten hot lava in her veins. As the minutes passed she began to feel her anxiety build more, and more. 'Fuck it' she thought. She ripped out her IV, kicked off the covers and made a beeline for the bathroom.

Olivia watched Genesis' actions and headed for the bathroom. She had figured it out. Genesis eats but she's still so skinny, and malnourished. It clicked in an instant. She beat Genesis to the bathroom, closed the door, and stood in front of it.

Genesis gaped at her. She began bouncing anxiously on her feet.

"Olivia I really need to go in there!" She shouted.

Olivia leaned on the door,crossed her arms, and shook her head.

"I just figured it out. I won't let you do this. Why do you do it? Please talk to me." She said. hurt was evident in her voice.

Genesis clutched her stomach. She didn't care if her secret was exposed. She just wanted the food out of her body.

"Please stop. Just let me in there" She begged. She was near tears.

"I'm sorry sweetheart I can't let you. Let's get back in the bed. That's why you passed out yesterday isn't it?" Olivia said stepping closer to her.

"NO! IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME I WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE! FUCK THIS!" Genesis shouted.

Olivia watched in terror as Genesis leaned over a trashcan stuck 2 fingers in the back of her throat, and vomited right in front of her. She was so shaken by what she was seeing she didn't try to stop her. She watched Genesis stick her fingers down her throat about 5 times when she finally dry heaved.

Genesis wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and stomped back over to the bed.

"Are you going to send me back now?" She asked quietly facing the wall.

Olivia blinked back tears, moving to sit beside her on the bed. She pulled the girl to her, and took a deep breathe.

"Can't you see no matter what you do I will not love you any less? I'm not going to give up on you" She said softly.

Genesis leaned into Olivia. She breathed deeply before speaking.

"I guess when we get home I have a lot of talking to do, huh?"

"Yes, you have been carrying around so much for so long by yourself. You don't have to do that anymore." Olivia said tears streaming down her face.

The Dr. knocked and came in.

"Hello Genesis. Nice to see you awake. I'm Dr. Goldman" He said thrusting out his hand.

She cringed away, and moved closer into Olivia. Olivia reassured her.

"It's ok. He's just the Dr. The sooner we get done with him the sooner we can go home" She told her.

Genesis reluctantly shook the Drs hand so they could move things along.

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Goldman asked as he flashed a penlight in her right eye before quickly moving to the left.

"I'm fine." She lied.

'I just want to get the hell out of here' she thought.

The Dr. quickly did his vitals, before handing the release papers to Olivia so she could sign Genesis out. When they got home Olivia led them to the couch. She turned to face Genesis.

"When did the sexual abuse start?"

"A couple months after I first got placed with the Lambert's. I was 10" she said looking down at the floor wishing for it to open up and swallow her.

"Did he start with the rape?"

"N-no he started at first by coming into my room at night. I'd wake up and see him just standing there. Then he started touching me under the covers, putting his hands inside my panties. I hated it. Then the first night he actually raped me, he stumbled into my room drunk, threw himself at me, and kind of laid on top of me. I tried to push him off but he was so heavy. He slapped me twice across the face, ripped open my nightshirt, pulled down my shorts and pushed into me. I wanted to die" She buried her face into Olivia's front crying openly.

Olivia stroked her head, and quietly waited to see if she would continue.

"He didn't do it as often when my periods started. Even then sometimes he would still do it" Genesis said wiping her face with the sleeve of her shirt.

"And then the last time he did. When he was done I decided to run. I couldn't take anymore. I dropped some sleeping pills into his whiskey, and then I ran away. I got picked up 2 days later for stealing food from a store, and then I ended up with you" She said shrugging her shoulders.

"Did he beat you?"

"He wasn't the first foster dad to hit me. The only one to rape me. But not the only one to touch me or slap me around. Monica- that's his wife- she hit me a couple of times too."  
She sniffled.

"I'm going to nail his ass with so many charges he's never going to get out." Olivia growled.

_One month later..._

Things had been going well for Genesis since she went to live with Olivia. She started going back to school everyday. And pulled her grades up. She agreed to let Olivia adopt her, and would sometimes call her "mom". She still struggled with her ED and SH and RTS but she knew she had Olivia. Sometimes during the night she would end up in bed with Olivia. Olivia didn't mind, she would just hold her until she fell back to sleep.

One morning Genesis felt terribly sick and found herself for the third time in a week wretching violently into the toilet. 'I've been feeling sick for days, and I'm eating everything' she thought. As she rinsed her mouth it dawned on her she hadn't had a period. 'This is the last thing I need' she thought. She sluggishly walked into her room, and opened the closet door.

She went into the back of the closet, and grabbed one of her bags. She sat cross legged on the floor, and opened a zippered section taking out a box she hoped she would never have to see again. She slipped the pregnancy test into her pocket in case Olivia saw her in the hallway. She put her bag back into the back of her closet, before opening her bedroom door and making sure there was no sign of Olivia in the halls. She tiptoed into the bathroom, and shut the door tight behind her. She took a deep breathe before taking the test out of the box and peeing on it.

Once she finished she placed the stick on the counter and washed her hands, the sound of the water quieting the chaos she was feeling inside. She started tapping her fingers nervously against the counter top. Then she heard her mother lightly tap on the door.

"Sweetie are you ok?" Olivia called.

"Yeah mom I'm fine" She said quietly trying to choke back her fear.

Genesis picked up the test and saw the word that would shatter her world again.

'PREGNANT'

She stared at the test, and hot tears of anger streamed down her face.

"Dammit!" She shouted.

She threw the test on the floor.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Olivia said rattling the door handle.

"N-nothing mom I'm f-fine" she stuttered.

A trait Olivia had noticed she does when she's scared or lying.

She fumbled around as she wrapped the test in a wad of tissue paper and tossed it into the trash before unlocking and opening the door.

"Have you been crying? What's wrong?" Olivia asked.

"N-nothing I'm just tired that's all" She said trying to muscle up everything she had not to fall apart.

She ran into her room before slamming the door in her moms face. She pulled out her journal, and began to write:

"_My name is Genesis Craig. I'm 13 years old. In a month I've gone from the child no one wanted to being a child who is very loved. I'm getting adopted. My mom is amazing. She's so strong, and loving. I still try to push her away sometimes but she doesn't let me. She's a wonderful mother. I love her so much._

_My world has been ruined again! Im fat, ugly, and now I'm fucking pregnant! I can't tell mom I'm pregnant! I'd rather die! Can I just slice my own throat already? What is the point of any of this shit?! I don't want to have a baby!.."_

She scribbled on the page angrily. The more she wrote the angrier she became. She threw down her pen, and walked over to her mirror disgusted at her reflection. She lifted up her shirt, and turned sideways, scowling at how fat she thought she looked at that angle.

She stared at herself in the mirror for long moments, pinching and pulling at different areas of her body. Until finally she snapped. She screeched as she began punching herself in the stomach. Olivia opened burst through the door. Genesis looked at her mother ; tears pouring from her eyes, screamed then punched the mirror. She pulled her first back to see blood spurting out, and bits of glass stuck in her hand.

"Genesis! Oh my God! What did you do?!" Olivia cried as she raised the girls hand above her head.

Then Genesis really lost it.

"LET ME DIE! LET ME DIE! I WANT TO DIE!" She cried.

She crumpled to the floor, and curled into a ball and cried. Olivia was brokenhearted. She didn't know what to do. She knelt beside her daughter, and pulled her into her lap.

"Please talk to me" she begged. "If you don't I don't know how to help you!" She cried.

"I CAN'T!" Genesis was near hysterics.

"Try. Please?" Olivia begged.

"I cant mom. Just hold me please"

They sat in the floor of Genesis' room for long moments. Olivia wondering what had caused her daughter such terrible pain, and Genesis wondering if her life would always be this. Would she always be so broken?

**Will Genesis tell her mom? Will she hide it? Who knows! Reviews are love :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Have so much more coming! Happy reading :)**

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**Chapter 6: Accidental Discovery**

After what seemed like hours of crying together on the floor Olivia convinced Genesis to let her take her to the hospital. She loosely wrapped her hand in a towel and helped her to the car. Genesis was still begging for death, and Olivia was devastated.

"Let me die. Let me die. Let me die". She repeated over and over in the car.

Tears continued to trickle down her face. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She wanted so much to die. She hated the life inside of her. She continued to think about the pile of shit her life had just dumped on her. When Olivia spoke.

"I think you need to talk to someone" Olivia said, exhaling.

"What?!No way!" Genesis snapped.

"Well you're not talking to me." Olivia said dryly.

"I do talk to you momma..." She whispered.

"Then what was that about?"

"I-I can't tell you..."

"Why not?"

Olivia pulled over, and cut the engine. She turned to face Genesis in the car.

"What is it? What is it you think you can't tell me?"She begged.

Genesis could see how much she was hurting and she didn't want to hurt her mother but she couldn't tell her this. How could she? It wasn't fair. The woman had opened her heart to her, and dealt with her craziness, and now this? No it wasn't fair. She had to handle this alone.

"I want to tell you...I-I just can't. You have changed your whole life for me. I'll ruin everything! Again!" She said burying her face in her hands.

"What is it Gen? Please just tell me. I know you're still holding back. But why?" Olivia begged to be let it.

She placed her hands over Genesis', pulling them down so she could look in her eyes. She hated to be shut out, again.

"I'd rather be dead! Please don't make me do this!" Genesis cried.

"Would you rather talk to Huang? What is going on?" Olivia pressed again.

"Momma please! Don't make me! I don't want to! I'll kill myself!" Genesis said yanking off her seatbelt, and bolting from the car.

She took off down the street. She had no sense of direction she just ran, and ran until she felt like her lungs were gonna burst. She fell to the ground crying, and wrapped her arms around herself. Strangers on the street staring at her.

"Are you ok kid?" A stranger asked.

"Move away from her please"Olivia said firmly.

Seconds later she felt herself in a hold that had become familiar in the past month, and she didn't fight it as her mother lifted her into her arms. She leaned into her mothers arms wrapping her arms around her neck. Olivia spoke to her in hushed tones as she carried her back to the car.

"It's ok sweetie let's get your hand taken care of ok?"

"I'm so tired mommy." She said softly. "So sick and tired"

Olivia kissed her forehead as she strapped her into the front seat.

"I'm gonna help you baby just hold on." Olivia said, worry edged in her tone.

By the time they reached the hospital Olivia was more than worried for Genesis' state of mind.

"C'mon sweetheart were gonna get your hand seen to" Olivia said lifting Genesis from the car.

"Someone help me please!" Olivia shouted as she came through the emergency room doors.

"What do we got?" A nurse asked.

"She put her hand through a mirror at home." Olivia stated.

"We need a gurney over here!" The nurse shouted.

Two orderlies rushed a gurney over, and Olivia placed her onto it.

Genesis locked her arms around Olivia's neck dragging her down with her.

"It's ok. I'll be with you the whole time" Olivia said.

"Promise?"Genesis asked looking into Olivia's eyes.

"Yes baby I promise."

They were wheeled into an ER bay, where the nurses removed the blood soaked towel. They placed her hand on sterile towels, rinsed the blood off her hand with saline water, and started to remove the bits of glass embedded into her knuckles. 18 stitches, a finger splint, and a mild sedative later Olivia was by her side in room 207 watching her sleep.

Olivia was still wondering what could have brought her daughter to this. She still remembered the way Genesis had freaked out when they tried to remove her clothes.

**Flashback...**

_"Ok sweetheart were just going to put you in a hospital gown now"A nurse said._

When the nurse reached the hem of Genesis' shirt she lost it. She started kicking and screaming.

"NOOO MOMMY DON'T LET THEM PLEASE! NO NO NO!" She screamed.

Genesis kicked an orderly, bit a nurse, and tried to snatch out her IV. Olivia requested they let her put her in the hospital gown.

"What if I put this on you?" Olivia asked searching her daughters eyes.

Genesis nodded.

Olivia slowly lifted Genesis' shirt and thats when she saw the bruises on her stomach. Bruises that hadn't been there before. She decided she would question her about it later, and slipped the gown on.

End flashback.

Dr. Goldman knocked on the door before letting himself in.

"She's still resting comfortably I see" He said glancing over the girl. "You may consider a psychiatric hold."

Olivia ignored the last comment, sighing in relief.

"It's the most rested she's been today" Olivia said quietly.

"I'll send around the hospital psychiatrist when she comes too" He said before leaving the room.

Olivia kissed Genesis on the forehead as she started to stir. Genesis rubbed her eyes with her left hand, shortly discovering her right was bandaged. She yawned, sighed and looked at Olivia.

"Where are we?" She asked hoarsely.

Olivia gave her hand a light squeeze.

"Were at the hospital sweetie."

"N-no! I wanna g-go home now!" Genesis said eyes wide with fear.

'Mom knows. She knows now. I'm fucked!' she thought.

"Hey hey hey. What's the matter?" Olivia said calmly.

"You know mom. I know you know. So just start yelling at me! Beat me, something!"Genesis said.

Olivia crinkled her eyebrows, and wondered if maybe Genesis wasn't one hundred percent lucid.

"Honey...I don't know what you're talking about" Olivia said sitting next to her on the bed.

"I know they told you!" Genesis said ripping out her IV

She kicked off the covers, and stood on shaky legs. Nausea overwhelmed her, and she darted to the bathroom. She wretched into the toilet, and felt Olivia behind her rubbing her back and holding her hair.

"Its ok...take deep breathes...in and out...moms here... I've got you" Olivia said.

Genesis lay head rested on one arm, draped across the toilet seat, panting.

"Uhn...mom...make it stop..." She groaned weakly.

"What brought this on baby? Your stomach is really rolling huh?" Olivia asked.

"Mhm" She said.

She rocked back and forth as she felt another wave of nausea and she clutched the toilet lid as another stream of vomit flowed from her body. She started to cry then, and she begged for death. Once she felt the nausea had passed she stood, wiped her mouth with the tissue her mom offered, and stood, flushing the toilet.

"Help me please" She asked motioning toward the bed.

Olivia wrapped her arm around her waist and helped her back into the bed, laying next to her. She stroked her hair.

"Are you feeling better?"

"My throat is scratchy" She cleared her throat "But I don't feel sick anymore"

"You didn't force it just now did you?" Olivia asked.

"No. I swear." Genesis said shaking her head.

Genesis lay quietly next to her mother thinking about that stupid baby. The baby that was forced on her, the baby she didn't want. The baby the baby the baby. She began thinking about how she could get rid of it. She had to get rid of it even if it meant her own life.

"What are you thinking about?" Olivia asked.

"Nothing." Genesis said turning away from Olivia.

Olivia turned her back to face her.

"Don't shut me out. Please. You get a crease in your forehead when you're thinking really hard about something. Why were you punching yourself in the stomach? I understand your first instinct is to push me away because no one has ever really loved you. But I do. I'm not going anywhere. Please talk to me." Olivia beseeched her.

"I know you love me mom. I love you too. But you don't deserve to put up with this. I want to tell you but I can't." Genesis said taking hold of her mothers hand.

Olivia opened her mouth to argue but was cut off with a short knock on the door.

"Hello Genesis. I'm Dr. Kerns." The woman said extending her hand.

Genesis eyed the woman cautiously, then rolled her eyes.  
The woman dropped her hand back to her side.

"Genesis don't be rude" Olivia scolded her.

"Sorry mom" She grumbled.

"Oh, you're the mother? Genesis I'm the hospital psychiatrist, and I heard you put your hand through a mirror. Would you like to talk about that?" Dr. Kerns asked.

Genesis rolled her eyes. She didn't want to talk about this. She just wanted to go home and get rid of the small intrusion of her life. She shook her head.

"Thank you for coming to see me but I'm fine honestly. I just want to get released." Genesis politely.

"I'll see what I can do about that. But there's no harm in us talking is there? Would you be more comfortable if your mother left the room?"

Olivia interjected then.

"I'm not going anywhere" She said holding Genesis' hand tighter.

"I can talk in front of my mom. I just don't have anything to say" Genesis said.

She turned towards her mother.

"Mom can we go?" She asked hopefully.

"I'll ring a nurse." Olivia said.

Dr. Kerns edged forward.

"If you need to talk to anyone. Here's my card feel free to make an appointment" She said offering a card.

With one last wave, and smile Dr. Kerns left the room.

Genesis tucked the card away, and stood when her mother brought out her clothes from the closet. After she dressed herself with the help of her mother, she was ready to go. The ride home was silent, and rather tense.

Once they got inside Olivia went to the bathroom, and Genesis went to lay down in her room.

When Olivia finished in the bathroom, she was washing her hands at the sink, and she glanced down and saw a wad of tissue in the trashcan. What caught her eye was a purple cap sticking out of one end of the wad. She reached for it, and removed the tissue. 'A pregnancy test?' she thought. She turned it over and saw that ill fated word.

'PREGNANT'

She put it all together then. Genesis having a breakdown, her reluctance to open up, and her being sick at the hospital.

"Oh my God" She gasped.

She left the bathroom, and pushed Genesis' door open finding her in a deep sleep. She walked over, and layed down beside her daughter pressing a kiss to her hair.

Genesis sighed contentedly in her sleep, and snuggled closer to her mother. Olivia whispered.

"Why couldn't you tell me? Did you think I wouldn't understand?"

Olivia knew in order fully to gain her daughters trust she would have to trust her. She knew it was time to tell Genesis her story.

**They have come pretty far in the first month! Does anyone want me to write out Gen's adoption? Give us all a little happiness before the real "fun" starts? Reviews are love! C'mon and hit the button :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This chapter is bit more fluffy. Lots of mother/daughter bonding type stuff! Well until the end anyway! Happy reading :)**

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**Chapter 7: Genesis Benson**

The next morning Olivia woke up with the intentions of telling Genesis about her conception, but then she remembered it was the final court hearing for the adoption. She realized Gen was no longer in bed with her, and went looking for her. She found her in the bathroom hunched over the toilet.

She walked over to her, and pulled her hair back as another hot stream of vomit forced its way out of her. When Gen realized she wasn't alone she panicked.

"G'way mom! I-I'm fine" She said weakly.

She tried to shove at her mother but honestly she had no strength. Olivia wanted so much to tell Gen that she knew, and that she wasn't mad or angry with her because it wasn't her fault but she wanted Gen to come to her even more.

"You know I'm not going anywhere honey. Let me help you." She said.

"I think I have a bug of some sort" She said.

'A bug that will only go away in 8 months if I don't get rid of it' Gen thought.

"Guess what today is?" Olivia asked excitedly.

"The adoption hearing!" Gen squealed.

"Are you ready to be stuck with me forever?" Olivia teased.

"Mom... Never ever think that I'm 'stuck' with you. I love you. You make me feel safe." She said holding Olivia's hand, and her heart.

"I love you too honey. Let's make a day of it? What do you say?" Olivia asked hopefully.

Other than going to school Gen didn't like leaving the house much. Olivia had picked up on that early on. She wanted her daughter to feel safe, and let her know nothing bad would happen to her as long as she was with her.

"I love it! I'm gonna go get ready!"

Gen hugged Olivia and darted to her room to get ready. Olivia love to see her daughter happy, but she knew Gen still had a lot inside, and that she was faking. She wanted to make this day a happy one, and to take the time and bond with her so she decided she would wait until Gen was ready or wait another day until she told her she knew about the pregnancy.

A few hours later they made their way to Judge Marsden's courtroom. They met the social worker in the lobby.

"Hello Ms. Benson. Hello Genesis. How are you doing?" Ms. Edwards asked.

"I'm good. Just glad this day has finally come!" Olivia said.

"I'll be glad I never have to come here again!" Genesis added.

"Once I make my recommendation there's no reason the judge should deny the petition for adoption. Your final visit showed marvelous progress!" Ms. Edwards beamed.

The bailiff called the session to order as the judge made her way to the bench. The judge shuffled the papers on her desk, and began.

"Olivia, Genesis. It's good to see both of you under delightful circumstances. Let's get this started so your day isn't wasted." Marsden said.

"Ms. Edwards what is your recommendation?" Marsden asked.

Ms. Edwards gathered the appropriate paperwork, and handed it off to the bailiff.

"Your honor I recommend that this adoption go through. In the past month Genesis' school attendance has gone up, and her grades have improved greatly. She's happier, and I feel that if she were removed from Ms. Benson's care it would be a mistake." Ms. Edwards stated.

She looked to Olivia and Genesis and smiled.

Judge Marsden looked through the paperwork Ms. Edwards had presented her with and smiled inwardly. She looked at Genesis, and motioned her to come forward.

"How are you? You're looking well. Do you have anything you would like to say before I make my decision?" Marsden asked.

"I'm fine" Genesis smiled. "I love Olivia and she loves me. I feel safe with her, and I'd like to have her last name. She's already my mom."

"I think that's a very good idea" Marsden winked at Gen.

She watched Genesis return to her seat by Olivia and smiled.

"In light of the information I've received today I find it in Genesis' best interest that she remain in the home of Det. Olivia Benson. Genesis Iyana Craig you will be known from this day forward as Genesis Iyana Benson. Your records are now sealed, and I wish you both the best. Case dismissed!" Marsden said banging her gavel.

Gen looked at her mother and smiled.

"I'm officially yours!" She squeaked.

Olivia wrapped her into a tight hug.

"I know. Forever!" Olivia said her voice thick with emotion.

They left the courtroom, and headed for the park. Olivia decided she would tell Gen her story, hoping Gen would open up.

"Do you want a hot dog?" Olivia asked.

They were walking around each distracted with their own thoughts of 'Where do we go from here?'.

"No thank you I'm not hungry" Gen said quickly.

After receiving a look from her mother she added.

"I don't think I'd be able to keep it down" She winced.

"Let's sit down here. I want to tell you something ok?" Olivia instructed.

"Ok" Gen said.

'Oh fuck! What if mom found my pregnancy test, and now she wants to talk to me about it?!' She thought. She felt her anxiety shoot through the roof.  
She wasn't too far off but she had no idea Olivia would tell her what she did.

"I want you to trust me, with everything" Olivia began. "My mom was raped, and as a result she had me. She was a drunk, and she was cruel to me at times. The few times she was sober I thought maybe she really loved me. But I always wondered why she didn't just give me up for adoption. My mother drank herself to death. I'm telling you this to let you know I have secrets and pain too. I trust you. Will you trust me? It's just you and me. We need each other. Will you let me help you?" Olivia asked. Her voice cracking and tears streaming down her face.

Genesis didn't know how to react to her mother being so open with her. She wanted to tell her but she just couldn't. Her mother had been through enough, and she couldn't put her through anymore - knowing everything Gen had been through would only hurt her. She wiped her fingertips underneath her mothers eyes to wipe away the tears.

"I'm sorry that happened to you mom. I'm trying to open up to you but there are some things I can't tell you. I want to but I just can't. It wouldn't be fair to you..." She said her voice cracking.

Olivia grabbed hold of her daughter's hand, and looked into her eyes. They sat that way for quite a while, until Gen shifted uncomfortably.

"What?" Gen asked trying to shrink away.

"When are you going to stop running? I'm not going to hurt you. You know that. I want to know everything about you. You're my daughter, and I won't leave you. I promise." Olivia said softly.

Gen looked away from Olivia and shrugged her shoulders. She sat quietly for a few moments as she thought about how she could explain why she does what she does. She turned back to Olivia.

"I am tired of running" She said so quietly Olivia almost didn't hear her. "I run because it's all I know. I taught myself a longtime ago if I kept my distance it would keep me from getting hurt. Being loved and wanted is new to me. I'm not used to this, and it scares me!" She forced out.

"I understand that. I'm only asking you to try. Trust me. Talk to me. If you don't start talking it's going to eat you up, and I won't lose you. I know you're still hurting yourself. Just because we didn't talk about the mirror incident doesn't mean I don't want to. Please just give me a chance." Olivia begged.

Gen was crying openly now. All she could think was 'Everyone here thinks you're ugly and fat. And now you're crying like a baby so they probably think you're crazy too!' She was scared. What exactly she didn't know. She felt such pain being loved. She wondered how could someone love someone so broken?  
The thought that someone actually wanted her terrified her and she wanted to run. The only thing keeping her on that park bench was her mother's hand in her own.

"Can we go home? Please?" She begged.

She still had tears streaming down her face, and she felt if she stayed there any longer everything would come out. And she didn't want to lose it in the park.

"Alright. Let's go" Olivia said standing.

She held out her hand for Gen to take again, and they walked hand in hand back to the car. Once home Olivia headed to the kitchen to make lunch, and Gen curled up on the couch. When lunch was ready Olivia joined Gen on the couch, offering her a plate.

Genesis shook her head "No thanks".

Olivia sighed and placed the plate on the coffee table.

"I thought you said you would try to eat." She said exasperated.

"I do mom I promise I do. It's just I get these thoughts sometimes..." She said mumbling the last part.

Olivia turned towards her, watching intently.

"What kind of 'thoughts'?" She asked.

Gen looked down at her hands and wrung them nervously. This lasted a couple of minutes before Olivia stilled her hands by covering them with her own. Gen looked up at her.

"What kind of thoughts do you get Gen?" She asked again, firmer this time.

Gen swallowed.

"I look at my body, and all I see is fat hanging everywhere. I hate everything I see! I'm disgusting, ugly, and fat!" She cried.

She scooted backwards to the other end of the couch. Olivia frowned. Her worst suspicions confirmed Genesis does have an eating disorder.

"That's not true sweetie! You're too skinny. Im scared if you don't eat soon that you're going to die! We can get through this together. Tell me why this started. Please?" Olivia asked.

She moved toward Gen slowly.

Genesis' eyes wide with fear- she shook her head. She looked down, and sighed.

"When Derek-that's Mr. Lambert; he started touching me he would tell me I was so beautiful that he had to have me. He would always say how much he loved my soft curves and he couldn't wait for me to fill out. I didn't want him to want me but I didn't know what to do! One day I was in the bathroom and I heard a girl throwing up. When she came out I asked her if she was ok, and she said she was fine. She said she made herself do it because she was fat. She looked me over and told me if I did it I would get skinny too. I thought this was the solution to my problems. So I started throwing up everything I ate. And I started to lose weight fast. There were days where I didn't eat at all. But I still couldn't keep him off me! I fought him sometimes but he would beat me up. He broke my wrist once. I didn't fight him anymore after that..." She said as tears streamed down her face. "I just didn't want to be wanted..."

Olivia closed the distance between them and pulled Gen to her.

"We have to talk about this. You can't keep it to yourself anymore. It's destroying you! Please let me help you." She begged.

Gen laid in her mothers arms for a few moments chewing her bottom lip. She decided she was ready to tell her about the pregnancy now. She got up and went to the bathroom to retrieve the test from the trashcan, shortly discovering that it was gone.

'Maybe mom took out the trash already' She thought.

She walked back into the living room, and sat on the couch.

"Mom I have something else to tell you...I mean I think I'm ready to tell you now" She said nervously.

Olivia reached into her pocket and held up the pregnancy test.

"Were you looking for this?" She asked softly.

Gen paled, her eyes widened, and she worked hard to swallow the lump in her throat.

'I am in such deep shit!' She thought.

Gen nodded, and looked down.

"You knew?" She asked

Olivia lifted her chin, forcing her daughter to look at her.

"You're not in trouble sweetie. Why didn't you tell me?" Olivia asked.

"I didn't plan on telling you. I was trying to find a way to g-g-get r-r-r-rid of it!" She cried. "I just want it to go away mamma!"

Olivia opened her arms and waited for Gen to fold herself into them. She held her tightly, and kissed her hair.

"It's ok honey. Everything is going to be ok. We'll do whatever you want to do. Don't keep things from me anymore. Ok?" Olivia said.

"Can I have an abortion? Please? Please mom? I can't. I can't have a baby. I don't want to have a baby! Not his baby!" Genesis begged and cried.

She beseeched her mother clinging to her tightly.

"It's driving me insane! I hate it! If I could I would reach and pull it out by myself. If you make me have it I'll kill myself!" She said straight-faced.

Olivia's heart broke. She knew Gen meant what she said, and now that she had her she couldn't bear to live without her.

"Shhh...sweetie we will do whatever you want. But I want you to promise me you will start talking to me." Olivia said.

"Ok. I'll try. I'll really try to stop shutting you out. But I don't think I can be pregnant a day longer!" She said.

She laid in Olivia's lap, and started sobbing. She hated her life so much. She was tired of everything. She had lost her will to live. She didn't think the abortion would really even help. She knew she was at her breaking point, and she didn't want her mother to suffer but she had to do something to quiet the voices that told her she was unworthy of love. She felt like the only way was-she had to die.

"Mom? Can we go somewhere?" She asked.

"Where do you want to go?" Olivia asked trying to hide her excitement.

"Can we go to the movies? Please?" She asked.

She looked up at her mother, and saw something she never saw before. The love a mother has for her child. A determined look to save her child at any price.

**What do you think Gen is thinking? Reviews are love :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Graphic rape scene described... not trying to hurt anyone. Happy reading :)**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Runaway**

On the way to the way to the theater Gen had been thinking of how she could make Olivia's life better, and she came to a decision.

Olivia and Gen arrived at the movie theater finding it rather busy. They didn't mind though. Gen decided she wanted to see Hansel & Gretel: Witch hunters so that's what her mother bought tickets for. After they bought popcorn, and soda they settled into the middle row. The lights dimmed, and the movie started.

Olivia had no idea that this day would scare the living hell out of her.

'I have to run. It's not fair to mom. I just have to go.' Gen thought glancing at her mother sideways. She had decided to run away. She couldn't keep putting her mother through everything she had. As much as she loved her she was destroying her. She knew she had to deal with everything alone.

"I'm going to the bathroom." Gen whispered.

"Do you need me to come with you? Are you feeling sick again?" Olivia asked moving to get up.

Gen placed her hand on her arm.

"No. I'm ok." She said getting up, and excusing herself.

Once Gen was outside of the theater she wiped away the few stray tears that had fallen. She knew this was the last time she would see her mother and it killed her but she had to do it. She left the theater as discreetly as possible and took off in a run. She ran about a block before she ran into someone.

"Excuse me" She said out of breath.

"No worries beautiful" The man said.

Gen's heart stopped, and she shook with fear. A voice she feared and hated for 3 years. How could this be? She had to be the most unlucky girl in the world to run into him. She looked up at him, and froze. Deer in the headlights. She moved to get away but he grabbed her arm.

"Where the hell do you think you're going? We've got some catching up to do..." He said

"I-Ill scream" She said trying to yank her arm from his grasp.

He squeezed tighter and laughed as she whimpered in pain.

"Don't make a scene and come with me. I heard you got adopted by some bitch cop? The one you picked out in court. Who the fuck would want ya?" He sneered leading her away.

Gen knew that when he was this angry only one of two things followed. A beating, a rape, sometimes both. All she could think was how much she wanted Olivia at that moment-wishing she never left her.

Olivia sat in the movie theater- no longer watching the movie-but counting the minutes until her daughter returned. She was starting to get worried, and decided to go check on her. She pushed open the door to the bathroom, and called out for her.

"Gen?...Gen?...Genesis?!" She called.

When she got no answer and found the bathroom to be empty she started to panic. She pulled herself together and went into cop mode. She walked to the front desk, and showed a picture of Gen to the young girl there.

"Have you seen this girl?" Olivia asked.

The young girl sat there for a moment obnoxiously chewing and popping her gum.

"Yes ma'am. She was standing just there" She said pointing by the door."She was wiping tears from her eyes, and then she bolted out of the door."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you. Did you see which way she went?" Olivia asked.

"She took off to the right." The girl said.

"Thank you!" Olivia called back as she headed in the direction Gen was last seen going.

Derek had forced Gen out of sight, and away from people. He had bound her arms above her head, and stripped her clothes. He loved the way tears were streaming down her face and her lip was quivering. He stalked towards her predatorily. He took his belt off and wound it once around his hand, and lashed it across her skin. She cried out in pain.

"Beg!" He ordered.

Gen bit her bottom lip as more tears poured from her eyes.

He struck her with the belt again, harder this time.

"I said beg, you ungrateful little whore!" He shouted.

"Please! P-please stop!" She cried.

"That's more like it." He sneered.

He leered at her then. He pounced on top of her,and took her nipple into his mouth. She struggled against her restraints, and looked away.

"You know you like it"

"N-no! PLEASE! STOP!" Gen cried as he rubbed her with his hand.

"Shut up!" He shouted smacking her across the face.

He grabbed her by her hair and slammed her head back.

The tears in her eyes blurred her vision. 'Mommy! Mommy please find me' She prayed silently. She let herself think of her mother finding her when he forced her legs apart and pushed into her. Tears kept streaming down her face but she remained silent.

Olivia was around the block stopping at street vendors, and strangers she passed by.

"Have you seen this girl?" She asked repeatedly.

She was at her wits end when someone said they had seen her.

"I last saw her with a man. He had her by the arm pulling her into that alley" A man said pointing.

Olivia's eyes widened in horror. 'why did she go with him?! Why didn't she fight him?!'. Olivia crept into the alley praying she would find Gen alive. She pulled her gun, and peeked around the corner. With what she saw she struggled not to pull the trigger then and there. She pulled out her phone and called the 1-6.

"Rollins" Amanda answered on the third ring.

"Amanda, listen carefully. I need you to locate my cellphone, and send a team to meet me ok? No sirens" Olivia spoke in a hushed voice.

"Liv? You're not supposed to be working. Aren't you with your kid? Congratulations on the adoption by the way!" Amanda said.

"Amanda! Please! My little girl is in trouble. Now locate my phone!" She ordered hanging up.

She looked back around the corner to see the man still on top of Gen, and she wanted nothing more but to kill him. She stepped into view.

"Police! Get off of her NOW!" Olivia ordered.

Gen's eyes popped open when she heard the voice of an angel.

"MOM!" She cried.

Olivia glanced at her, and tried not to cry.

"It's ok baby I'm here!"

She snapped her full attention back to the scum who had hurt her baby.

"Don't you dare fucking move! I will shoot you!" She ordered.

He looked from Gen to Olivia.

"Oh you're the bitch cop who adopted Genesis" He snorted.

Olivia knew who he was. She narrowed her eyes, and cocked her gun.

"Hands up!"

He raised his hands in the air.

"Place them behind your head, and lock your fingers together!" Olivia shouted.

All she really wanted to do was get to her daughter and hold her close. She would never let her go again.

"Liv?!" Fin shouted. He came into view stepping towards Lambert.

"You ok?" Amanda asked.

"I'm fine. Cuff him please and read him his rights" Olivia said.

She put her weapon away, and made her way to Gen's side. She untied her arms, and draped a blanket over her.

"Mom! Oh mom I'm so sorry!" Gen cried as she curled into Olivia's arms.

"Why did you runaway?" Olivia asked holding her tight.

"I thought if I went away things would be better for you! I knew how much I was hurting you so I told myself to leave" She said quietly looking away from her mother.

Amanda approached them slowly.

"Liv..." She said softly.

Olivia knew what she was going to say. She stood up, and lifted Gen into her arms.

"I'm not leaving her Amanda. I'm never leaving her alone again!" She said defensively.

"Liv you know you can't work this case." Amanda said.

She turned her attention to the girl in Olivia's arms.

"Hi sweetie. We've met before. I'm Amanda. Can you tell me what happened?" She asked softly.

Gen looked up at her mother and buried her face in her front.

"Nothing" She murmured.

The bus arrived and Olivia rode with her to the hospital.

"Do we need a rape kit?" A nurse asked.

Before Olivia could answer Amanda stepped in.

"Yes we do."

Olivia glared at her.

"Amanda what the hell are you doing? She's my daughter!" Olivia growled.

The nurse looked between the two women before excusing herself.

"I know that Liv. She is in no danger with me I promise you. You can be with her while I do the interview" Amanda assured her.

"Mom?" Gen called reaching for Olivia.

"Yes baby. I'm right here" She said getting on the bed beside her.

"I don't want to do this...please make her go away." She begged.

Olivia shook her head, and kissed her daughters cheek.

"Sorry baby not this time. It's an official police investigation."

Gen moved to sit up an winced in pain, she laid back down and turned away from Olivia.

Amanda moved to sit in the chair next to the bed.

"Would you prefer your mom left us alone?" She asked.

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE! I DON'T WANT HER TO BE HERE! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS! AND I DON'T WANT HER TO HEAR ABOUT THIS!" Gen shouted.

"I understand you're upset honey but I've got to get your statement" Amanda said.

"Nothing happened! Go away!" Gen cried.

Gen pulled her legs up to her chest, and started crying. Amanda shot Olivia a look.

"Maybe you should come back later." Olivia suggested.

She got up and opened the door for Amanda.

"When she's ready to talk call me." Amanda said looking back to the girl and left.

Olivia returned to her side, and sat on the bed. She sighed and took Gen's hand.

"I saw him on top of you, and it took everything in me not to kill him. You have to talk about it this time sweetheart. You have to talk to me, and you have to talk to Amanda. You can't deny it this time"

Gen snatched her hand away and crossed her arms.

"Nothing happened! Just drop it mom!" She snapped."Can we go home? Please I just want to go home?" She begged

"I know you're angry. Maybe even a little angry at me? That I didn't stop him? I don't know.I won't know until you tell me. He raped you,again. Don't shut me out. Not now. Sweetie please..."Olivia begged.

Gen couldn't take anymore. She got up and ran into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind her. She slid to the floor, and started crying.

Olivia gave her a few moments before trying to coax her from the bathroom.

"Gen open the door please. It's just you and me. Just unlock the door honey." Olivia said pressing herself against the door.

Gen rubbed at her face, before reaching up and turning the lock on the door.

Olivia pushed the door open slowly, and saw Gen on the floor behind the door.

She sat on the floor, and opened her arms. Gen shook her head. So Olivia moved even closer, and just pulled her into her lap.

Gen struggled against her but Olivia refused to let go. She relaxed and exhaled.

"How can you still love me after all of this? I'm disgusting! How can you love me after what he did?! How can you love me after everything I put you through?!" Gen asked.

"You're my daughter. I'll always love you. What happened to you wasn't your fault. But you have to trust me this time. We are going to get through this together. You can push me away all you want but I'm not going anywhere."Olivia said gently." You can get the rape kit done now, and give your statement later. I'll be with you the whole time" Olivia added.

Gen was lost in the memories of what just happened. The more she thought about it the sicker she got. She fought against Olivia's hold and spewed into the toilet. She heaved over and over. All the while her mother was there holding her hair, and whispering words of comfort.

"It's ok honey...your nerves are upset huh? Again? It's alright. I'm here."

Once Gen was done Olivia helped her up and helped her back to bed. She knew her daughter was in pain physically, and emotionally.

Olivia covered Gen with a blanket and sat beside her.

"We'll get through this Gen. I promise you."

"I'll do the rape kit if they can do the abortion when they're done" Gen said quietly.

"Ok. I'll get a Dr." Olivia said leaving the room.

She returned a few minutes later with a nurse.

Olivia stayed by Gens side- like she had done with many victims- holding her hand. Gen squeezed her hand tightly when the nurse began the pelvic exam, and Olivia stayed strong for her.

"She's almost done sweetie" Olivia said chafing her hand in her own.

Once the rape kit was done, another nurse came in to give the anesthesia so the Dr. could perform the abortion.

When Gen woke up Olivia was still with her.

"It's over honey. We collected evidence and we can use the fetus as evidence. It's almost all over" Olivia said cupping Gens cheek.

Gen closed her eyes, and a tear escaped.

"But it's not over mom."She said sobbing.

**Poor Gen :/. I think this will set her back a bit. Reviews are love :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Happy Reading :)**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Blame**

After a 48 hour stay in the hospital deemed Gen well enough to return home. Olivia was excited to be taking her daughter home. She thought once Gen got home she would get a little better.

Gen hadn't really spoken since she arrived at the hospital. She didn't talk to her mother and she refused to speak to Amanda. They were able to get her to hand write her statement.

When Olivia and Gen got into the car, her worry increased. She had seen these symptoms before in previous victims. She tried talking to her knowing all she would receive is silence.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"..."

"Gen? Honey please. I know this is hard for you but please don't do this to yourself. You're not alone." Olivia said.

"..."

When they got home Gen went straight to her room closing the door behind her. She laid down her bed, and thought about how fucked up her life was. 'You're fat, and you deserved what happened to you' She told herself. 'Don't deny it everyone knows you deserved it. Even your mom. She doesn't love you anymore because you let him do it again' She told herself. She tossed and turned on the bed as the mean thoughts kept flooding in. She turned her face into her pillow and cried out loud. She was in so much pain, and she couldn't handle it anymore. She went to the back of her closet, and retrieved a razor. She turned it over in her hands, remembering the feel of it. It had been over a month since she had last done it. She pulled up the leg of her sweatpants and began slicing away at her skin like it was butter. 'This is what you pay for being an ugly, fat slut' She told herself. Hot tears of anger began pouring from her eyes, and she just kept cutting. She cut until she felt woozy, and heard her mom at the door. She tried to clean herself up, but eventually just laid out in the floor.

Olivia knocked on the door.

"Gen? Gen honey dinner is ready do-" Olivia was cut off at the sight before her when she pushed the door open.

"Genesis?! What the fuck did you do?!" Olivia shouted.

She had shouted and cussed at her daughter for the first time. She would feel bad about it later but now her daughter was more important. She sat Gen up against the side of the bed, and looked into her eyes. They were unfocused, and she had a hard time keeping them open. Olivia grabbed a shirt and pressed it to her leg.

"Don't do this to me! Stay with me baby! Hold on!" Olivia shouted.

Olivia dialed 911, and pulled rank to get a bus asap. She rode along in the ambulance willing her daughter to live. She whispered in her ear.

"Please don't leave me. I love you. You are that missing piece in my life. I'll get you through this if you just stay with me" Olivia begged.

They began working on Gen the minute she was rushed in. Olivia felt so helpless all she could do was stand and watch. She stood there speechless watching the medical staff work over her daughters limp body.

She was guided to a waiting room where she was told she would be notified when she could be with Gen again. After about 20 minutes a nurse came out and told her she could go to Gen's room.

"Some of the cuts were superficial and some were very deep. She has about 21 stitches. She lost quite a bit of blood so we had to transfuse her. She might sleep for a day maybe more. She's just in here." The nurse explained as she walked Olivia to the door of Gen's room.

Olivia walked slowly to her daughters bedside. The tension in her shoulders relaxed as she watched Gen's chest move up and down. She stroked her hair and kissed her head.

"I'm so sorry. I saw the signs, and I failed you. You have to be ok. Please be ok. I'll be right here when you wake up" Olivia said tears streaming down her face.

'How did we get here?' She thought.

The next morning Olivia wakes to Gen thrashing around in the bed.

**Gen's dream...**

_"Beg!"_

_She feels the lash of the belt across her skin._

_The pain radiates her entire body and she can't help but to cry out._

_"I said beg!" He yells._

_He lashes the belt across her skin again, and she gives in and begs for him to stop. She hates herself for feeling so weak, and she hates him for what he's about to do but it doesn't stop it from happening. She clamps her legs together even though she knows it won't stop him. He pounces on top of her and forces her legs apart, and roughly pushes into her._

_The excruciating pain she felt when he tore into her. She wanted to die._

**End dream**

"Please stop...No!"

She was still trapped in her dream.

"Gen? Sweetie?" Olivia asked cautiously.

She touched Gen's back.

Gen shot up and screamed.

"NOOO!"

She searched the room frantically looking for any sign of Derek and she saw Olivia standing beside her, but she still couldn't be sure. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she was breathing heavily. She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, and began to rock herself.

Olivia approached her slowly so she wouldn't alarm her.

"Sweetie?" She asked softly.

Gen didn't say anything. She just continued to rock herself.

"Where are you right now?" Olivia questioned her again.

"Derek please don't play games with me just get it over with!" Gen spat.

"Genesis, listen to me. Derek is not here. It's mom. It's just you and me. Look at me..." Olivia said slowly.

"OK...FINE! HOW DO YOU WANT IT? DO YOU WANNA TIE ME UP? HUH? DO YOU WANNA BEAT ME FIRST? HOW DO YOU WANT IT?! I CAN'T FIGHT YOU ANYMORE!" Gen screamed trying to tear the hospital clothes from her body.

Olivia knew that Gen was suffering a full blown flashback at that moment. She tried again using the same voice she uses with victims.

"Gen, honey. Look at me ok? Can you do that?" She asked gently taking Gen's hands in hers.

Gen snapped her head in Liv's direction, and her eyes focused on her. She slowly came out of it.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry mom! I'm sorry!" She threw her arms around Olivia and started crying.

Olivia rubbed small, soothing circles on her back.

"It's ok sweetheart. It's ok. Shhh...I'm here...I'm here" Olivia said getting onto the bed with her.

"I-I wasn't trying to kill myself! I swear I wasn't. I just wanted the thoughts to stop. I just couldn't handle it anymore! So I cut, and cut. Again and again until I felt dizzy, and then I was sleepy. The darkness crept in and it was comforting. Oh mom I'm sorry!" She cried.

"It's not your fault. But you have to start talking. I almost lost you! I want you to see someone" Olivia said pulling Gen away to look into her eyes.

Gen shook her head.

"Why?" Olivia asked.

"Because I don't deserve help..." Gen answered looking away from her mother tears streaming down her face.

**Poor Gen...Everyone deserves help...:(. Review me :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This is the shortest chapter I've written for this story. I apologize. But I'm kind of triggering myself writing this so I have to slow down. But I do plan on having a sequel when I finish this one. **

**Mccoy: I am sorry to hear what your friend is going through...Gen's experiences are mine...I appreciate your encouragement. Thank you. What grade are you in? And have you asked her? Just let her know you're there. Even if you can't exactly help her being there goes a long way. If you need anything else feel free to leave another review and I'll respond as soon as I can.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Committed **

Olivia took a long pause just staring at her daughter, perhaps seeing for the first time how broken she was. Gen's flashback had shaken her to the center of her heart. She wanted to know more but she decided not to push her.

Gen was sitting in her bed, opening her shell. She was letting her mother see her. She finally felt safe enough after all this time. Partly, she wanted to close herself off and shove the feelings deep down inside but she couldn't. She felt tears streaming down her face. She felt herself begin to close up again.

Olivia composed herself, and reached for her.

At first Gen shrank back, and shook her head. Olivia kept her arms outstretched, waiting patiently, silently hoping Gen wouldn't pull away.

"No mom" Gen said shaking her head. "No."

"Why not?" Olivia asked softly.

"Because I know you don't love me anymore..." Gen half whispered.

Olivia stood from the chair, and climbed onto the bed, wrapping the girl into her arms.

"That's ridiculous. You know that. Don't you? Sweetie what happened to you WAS-NOT-YOUR-FAULT" Olivia said squeezing the girl to her.

"Please..." Gen begged.

Olivia held her tighter.

"STOP IT!" Olivia yelled."Talk to me! Talk to me! Yell at me if you want to! Just talk to me! Nothing you can do can make me stop loving you" Olivia said in a softer tone as she felt Gen cringe.

Gen sighed. She paused thinking over what her mother had just said.

"I...what do you want me to say?" She mumbled.

"Just talk to me. I can't help you if you don't talk to me. And obviously keeping it to yourself isn't helping you. Tell me anything. Everything. Please just let me in." Olivia begged.

"It was all my fault...I ran away, and ran into him, and I didn't stop him. H-he tied me up, and beat me with the belt, and I tried not to let him rape me but he forced my legs apart, and I just wanted him to kill me!" Gen cried.

Olivia just held her keeping quiet until she knew Gen was done talking.

"I wanted you to come find me, but when you didn't I gave up, and I hoped that when he was done he would kill me this time. Then you came, and saw what he had done I was so...ashamed. I didn't want you to see me!" Gen said her voice hoarse, and tears ever spilling from her eyes.

Olivia patted her back, and whispered words of comfort.

"I want you to see someone...I can go with you. We can do this as a family. But you nearly died, and I won't risk your life. Ever. You need to start eating and keeping down your food. Please Gen?"

Olivia knew she sounded desperate, and she knew that Gen had been very open with her but she also knew her daughter was still hurting. She wouldn't risk Gen attempting to take her own life again.

"Fine. I'll see Dr. Kerns" Gen said reluctantly.

'What if they make me stop cutting, and purging?' She thought.

"You mean it?" Olivia asked excitedly.

"Yes. Can I go home?" Gen asked.

"No. They are keeping you for 72 hours in the psych ward when you leave the ICU" Olivia explained.

Gen was pissed. She pushed away from her mother, and glared at her.

"Are you kidding me?! I'm NOT crazy mom! This is bullshit! This is totally unfair! How the fuck can you let them do this to me?!" She yelled.

Olivia raised her eyebrow.

"You done? I would love to take you home, but you attempted suicide, and you're a minor so I had to do this or they would have done it for me. It's only 3 days honey." Olivia said.

Gen crossed her arms, and huffed.

"This is fucked! I don't belong here!"

"Why do you do that?" Olivia asked.

"Do what?" Gen snapped back.

"Open up in bursts of anger, then close yourself off, and later deny you have a problem" Olivia said.

"I don't know..." Gen said staring at the wall.

Just then there was a sharp knock on the door.

"Come in" Olivia said.

"Hello Genesis. How are you?" Dr. Kerns asked closing the door behind her.

"How do I look?" Gen smarted off.

"Genesis..." Olivia said in a warning tone.

"It's ok Ms. Benson. It's quite normal for suicidal persons to feel irritated with everyone once their attempt has failed. I'll be working closely with Genesis for the next 3 days, and figuring out an outpatient plan." Dr. Kerns said politely.

"Is there anything I need to do differently once she comes home?" Olivia asked.

"I assumed you'd be joining in on our sessions?" Dr. Kerns asked looking puzzled.

"Of course" Olivia said nodding.

"Ok. A nurse is going to come in and get Genesis settled in the psych ward while we talk for a bit" Dr. Kerns explained.

A nurse enterned a moment later with a wheelchair.

"Hey Genesis. I'm Erin. I'll be your nurse for the next 3 days. Can you stand up at all? Are you in any pain?" She asked politely.

"I think I need help, and it's just a slight burn. Morphine helps" Gen winced.

Erin moved forward to help Gen, and she recoiled. Erin stepped back out of the girls personal space.

"Mom?" Gen asked.

Olivia held up a finger to the Dr. and made her way over to her.

"What is it baby?" She asked.

"Chair..." Gen mumbled.

"Ah, right new person you don't know?" Olivia said getting the hint.

She easily lifted Gen, and placed her in the chair. Erin took over from there wheeling Gen away. Gen's eyes went wide with fear when she realized Olivia wasn't beside her.

"I'll see you tomorrow honey. It's going to be alright" Olivia called.

**Yay! Gen agreed to get some help! But she's far from cured...**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: May be wrapping this up so I can start the sequel. I might make that one an A/O fic as well ;)...Happy reading**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Progress**

Gen was sitting up in bed in the four walls that would be her home for the next 3 days. She couldn't believe her life had come to this. She just got raped, had an abortion, and tried to kill herself in 48 hours.

'I can't believe mom let them fucking put me in here! I don't belong here' She thought.

She would never admit that she was scared. When she saw that her mom wasn't coming with her she was terrified, then it turned to anger but she didn't know why. She wondered what her mom was doing now. If she was happy to be without her.

Olivia was the complete opposite of happy she missed her daughter terribly. She was currently going through Gen's room. So far she had discovered 6 boxes of diuretics, 2 boxes of laxatives, 10 razors, and a food diary. She didn't want to find anything more but she wanted this stuff out of the house when Gen came home.

"Why didn't I do this sooner?" Olivia said outloud.

She was feeling guilty for seeing how depressed her daughter had been, and getting there almost too late. She would never let it get that bad again. Tomorrow would be the first counseling session with Gen, and she wondered what her daughter would say. She wanted so badly to know where it all stemmed from. She just hoped Gen would cooperate, and accept the help she agreed to seek.

It was dinner time for the psych ward, and Gen was putting up a fight. She pushed the food tray away in disgust.

"I'm not eating that shit!" She spat.

"Genesis if you don't eat we will have to force you" Erin said sternly.

Gen glared at her, and clenched her teeth.

'This is bullshit! Why do they keep insisting I need to eat? I'm fat! Are they blind?' She thought. Before she really had time to think about it she picked up the plate and chucked it at the wall.

"Force that bitch!" She shouted, crossing her arms.

Erin raised an eyebrow, and pressed a small red button on the wall. Within seconds 2 orderlies showed up.

"What's the problem Erin?" Orderly 1 asked.

"Genesis, here has refused her meal and chucked her plate at the wall" Erin said thrusting her thumb back in Gen's direction.

"Ahh, I'll go grab another plate" Says orderly 2.

After a few moments orderly 2 returns with another plate, and hands it to Erin.

Gen watches nervously as they take their positions, one orderly on either side of her grabs hold of her wrists, and Erin moves forward with the plate.

"Open your mouth" Erin asks with a forkful of mush aimed at Gen's mouth.

Gen clamped her mouth shut, and shook her head.

"If you don't eat we will put in a feeding tube" Erin warned.

"Fuck" Erin shoved the fork into Gen's open mouth, and held her jaw closed while she swallowed. "You" Gen choked out trying to get the taste out of her mouth.

"This will go a lot faster if you just cooperate sweetheart" Erin said softly. "Are you ready for another bite?"

Gen growled, but complied. Soon she had eaten the whole concoction, and she wanted nothing more than to puke.

"This is so fucked! I mean this is really cruel! I hate all of you!" She shouted as the orderlies, and her nurse left her room.

An hour later she was given a sedative for bedtime. The next morning she woke up mad as hell and fully intended to let her mom and Dr. Kerns know she was going home. After choking down another mushed concoction for breakfast she was wheeled to Dr. Kerns office where the Dr, and her mother were already waiting for her.

Olivia moved to hug her, but she held up her hands, palms up, and shook her head. Olivia sighed, and frowned but sat next to Gen anyway.

"Good morning Genesis, how are you feeling?" Dr. Kerns asked.

"I want the fuck out of here" She growled.

The Dr. sat back, and wondered why the girl was so hostile.

"Gen what's going on?" Olivia asked looking at her daughter intently.

Gen snapped her eyes up to meet her mothers, and stared at her incredulously.

"They force fed me last night! Two orderlies held my wrist, and they forced some mush that tasted like shit into me! I ain't doin this no more! I wanna go home now!" She snapped.

Olivia looked over to the Dr. with questioning eyes.

"You...force fed my daughter?" Olivia growled.

"Ms. Benson we had no other choice. She threw her plate at the wall, and refused to eat" Dr. Kerns explained.

"I don't care if she had thrown her plate at the nurse. You will NOT restrain her again. Maybe I should be present for her mealtimes." Olivia said glaring at the Dr.

"Or maybe y'all can let me the hell out of here, and get the fuck out of my life!" Gen interjected.

"What is with you? Young lady you are acting out of control. This isn't like you at all. What happened to my daughter?" Olivia said.

"SHE'S DEAD! SHE DIED 3 DAYS AGO IN THE ALLEY WHERE SOME SICK BASTARD RAPED HER!" Gen shouted.

"Good start Genesis. Let's talk about that" Dr. Kerns said.

"No way!" Gen snapped

"Why don't you want to talk about it?" Dr. Kerns asked.

Olivia looked at her daughter silently asking the same question.

"I...look just drop it ok? I'm dealing with it by myself" She mumbled.

She stared off into the distance waiting for this session to be over. They knew too much in her opinion and she couldn't stand for them to know more.

Dr. Kerns looked up at the clock.

"Well it's almost time to wrap this up. Would you two like to talk for a few minutes?" She asked.

Olivia reached out for Gen's hand and was relieved when she didn't snatch it away.

"Baby I know you're upset that you're in here but we only wanna help you. You have to start talking, please. You get to come home in a couple days please work with these people" Olivia begged.

"I can't believe you fucking left me here!" Gen raged at her mother. "You just dumped me in here and you didn't even look back. You left me. You left me" She repeated accusatorially as tears started streaming down her face.

Dr. Kerns watched quietly taking notes.

Olivia didn't know what to say. She was hurt that her daughter had been hurt by her actions. She kneeled down in front of her, catching her eye.

"Gen? Honey? Look at me" She pleaded.

Gen looked at her mother grief clear in her face.

"Where are you?" Olivia asked.

"In Dr. Kerns office" Gen whispered.

"You know I wouldn't leave you, don't you?" Olivia asked relieved that Gen wasn't having another flashback. But concerned her daughter really believed she would leave her.

"Genesis you seemed to have a panic attack. And I want to explore that some more but our time for today is up" Dr. Kerns said.

"I'll be back tomorrow. I love you" Olivia said kissing Gen's forehead.

"I just want to go home" She said as fresh tears fell from her eyes. Erin came for her wheeling her back to her room.

**_The next day..._**

"Genesis would you like to tell us what was going through your mind the day of your suicide attempt?" Dr. Kerns asked.

"I was...the rape was on replay in my head, and it hurt so much, and I wanted everything to just stop. So I pulled out a razor, and started cutting. I was so angry I just started slashing at my leg, and then I felt dizzy, and I couldn't stay awake. It was dark, and quiet where I was. I felt peace at last..." Gen said quietly.

She was sitting on the couch next to her mother with her arms wrapped around herself.

"That's a good start" Dr. Kerns smiled.

Olivia gave her hand a squeeze, and smiled through the tears pouring down her face. She had no idea what her daughter was feeling but she was so happy she was beginning to open up.

"Do you think you could tell us more?" Dr. Kerns pushed.

Gen ran her teeth over her bottom lip. Inside she felt good sharing what she just had but she didn't know if she could keep doing it. How much could she share before they decided she was totally nuts, and locked her away for good? She had 1 goal in mind. And that was to do whatever they wanted so she could go home. That was her prize, and she was going to win it.

"I don't know..." She said uneasily.

Dr. Kerns turned her attention to Olivia.

"How are you doing Mom? Are you feeling overwhelmed?" She asked.

Olivia wiped at her face with her hands, and sighed.

"I...I'm not overwhelmed. I just...I do this for a living. Working with victims is my life, and I feel bad that I failed to recognize her pain. And it breaks my heart that she was hurting that much. I'll never fail you again" Olivia said looking into Gen's eyes.

"Genesis how does that make you feel?Do you have anything to say to your mother?" Dr. Kerns asked.

"Mom what I did...It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known that I was going to - I didn't want you to know. I wanted to handle it by myself. It was my fault, and you didn't deserve to suffer with me!" Gen huffed as fresh tears streamed down her face.

"Gen I would do anything for you! Your pain _is _my pain. We're a family now! And I'll say it again, and again until you believe it" Olivia said.

"I think we made quite a bit more progress today. Genesis you may go, I'm going to talk to your mom about your outpatient care. You will be going home tomorrow after the session" Dr. Kerns said.

Olivia pulled Gen to her, and stroked her hair.

"I love you baby. We are going to get through this"

Gen hugged her back, and sighed.

"I know. I love you too Mom" Gen said with a hoarse voice.

They parted, and Gen was escorted back to her room.

Dr. Kerns, and Olivia began discussing Gen's outpatient plan.

"I'll set you up with a nutritionist who will set up a meal plan for her. She needs to gain 40 pounds so she will need to be eating 4 small meals a day. I'd like to meet with her 3 times a week for starters, and we will move on from there. She's beginning to open up but there is so much more inside of her" Dr. Kerns explained.

"And if she refuses to eat?" Olivia asked.

"Then she loses her privilege to exercise for the day. Nothing strenuous. If you notice she's pushing too hard put a stop to it" Dr. Kerns answered.

"Ok. Thank you" Olivia said.

Olivia left the Drs office, and headed home. When she got home she called her captain.

"Liv? How are ya?" Cragen asked.

"Not so good cap. Listen I know I've only got a month of paid leave left but I need atleast another month off..." She said hesitantly.

"We're not drowning without you, Olivia. Be with your daughter." He said.

"Thanks cap" Olivia said before ending the call.

She took a look around her empty apartment, and sighed. She couldn't wait to have Gen back home with her. After a month of pure hell they finally seemed to be getting somewhere. She just hoped when Genesis came home that her progress would continue.

**Yay! Gen opened up a lot...Well for her that's a lot! Will she stick with it or is she faking getting well? **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Gen is finally leaving the hospital. Think she's cured? Happy reading :)**

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**Chapter 12: Home**

Gen was finishing packing her bag. One more session and she was free to go home.

'I can get back to my life' She thought.

She had no idea her mother had found her stash, and food diary. She had no idea how different her life was going to be from this day on.

Using the wall for support she practically skipped to Dr. Kerns office. When she got to the door she tapped twice and entered the room.

"Hello Genesis. You're looking chipper today" Dr. Kerns said smiling.

"I'm happy to be getting out of here" She said taking a seat on the couch next to her mother.

"We will still be seeing each-other 3 times a week, and as often as your mother finds necessary" Dr. Kerns said.

Gen held her composure, and just nodded in understanding.

"Olivia why don't you start" Dr. Kerns suggested.

Gen looked at her mother confused.

"When you come home there are gonna be some rules" Olivia began. "We will have all meals together, you have a 7 o' clock curfew, and there will be no more locked doors" Olivia said.

"Ok" Gen said.

"If you break any of these rules I'll ground you" Olivia said.

"Ok" Gen said nodding.

'I was sure she was going to disagree...maybe not considering she does anything she's told' Olivia thought.

"We haven't discussed your rapes, your pregnancy and subsequent termination, or your eating disorder. But I'm hoping in time you will learn to trust both of us and speak freely about those. Your mother told me she found your diuretics, laxatives, razors, and food diary in your room your first night here with us" Dr. Kerns said.

'Fuck! I knew they were going to try to take this away from me!' Gen thought.

"I'll also be doing sweeps throughout your room if I suspect you're not sticking to your treatment plan" Olivia said firmly.

* * *

"Why are being like this mom?!" Gen finally burst.

"Like what?" Olivia asked.

"I...I don't know...Like a fucking cop?!" Gen snapped.

Olivia turned her whole body in Gen's direction, and gaped at her.

"Language!" Olivia warned. "What are you talking about?" Olivia asked.

"You really don't love me anymore" Gen said quietly.

Dr. Kerns sat quietly watching the interaction between mother and child.

Olivia chewed her bottom lip. She felt like crying. Gen really believed she didn't love her, and she didn't know how to convince her otherwise. She reached towards her, and shattered when Gen scooted away towards the other end of the couch.

'Dammit!' Olivia thought.

"How did I lose you?" Olivia asked softly.

"You want to give me back" Gen said, her voice cracking as tears welled in her eyes, and spilled onto her cheeks.

"That's NOT true!" Olivia retorted quickly.

"Time out." Dr. Kerns interrupted.

"Genesis why do you feel like your mother doesn't love you anymore, and that she wants to give you back?"

Gen pulled her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them. She stayed silent as she began to cry almost hysterically. She wanted to stop but she didn't know how. She felt out of control. She wanted to binge, and purge, and cut, and cut, and cut. She didn't want to be here spilling her secrets, and talking about all the shit that had damaged her and made her unworthy of her mother's love.

"Sweetheart?" Olivia asked slowly moving towards her end of the couch.

Gen still said nothing. She just cried, and cried. She felt her mother place her arms around her, and they felt like hot irons. She didn't want her mother to hold her now. Not now when she felt like she was undeserving of the love she was being shown. She tried to break away from her mother, but it was a failure before she even began. She just sat there crying.

"Genesis, please tell us. This is a safe place" Dr. Kerns said softly.

Finally she spoke, and the words coming out of her mouth seemed to hurt more than keeping them inside.

"She doesn't love me anymore because it was my fault! I ran away! And I ran into him! And I couldn't keep him off me! And she's going to give me back because Derek was right when he asked me who the fuck would want me?!" She cried.

Oliva now had tears streaming down her face. She wanted to kill that bastard for making her daughter believe the lies he told.

"That's not true!" Olivia's breathe hitched in her throat. "Please, you have to understand, and see by now that that's not true. You have to know how much I love you. I couldn't bear to live without you if something happened to you!" Olivia said softly as tears continued to fall like raindrops.

Gen said nothing. She was replaying what her mother had just said to her. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, and sucked in a deep breathe. She was exhausted, and she just wanted to go home, and sleep in her bed.

"Ok" She finally said after a long pause.

"I think this is a very good start." Dr. Kerns said. "I'll see the 2 of you Monday at 2 o' clock. If you should need me, please don't hesitate to call" She said handing her card to Olivia.

Olivia took the card, and slipped it into her purse, nodding.

* * *

"Can I take her home now?" Olivia asked dabbing at her face with a tissue.

"Yes. She's free to go. You'll just need to sign her release forms at the front desk." Dr. Kerns said.

"Did you hear that honey? I can take you home now" Olivia said.

Gen stood from the couch, and slowly made her way to the door. She had reached her goal. She was finally getting out of a place that seemed like hell on earth for the last 3 days. She couldn't believe how stupid the Dr. was. She smiled to herself as she followed her mother to the car. Sure she would have to eat more, and probably gain some more weight but there was no way in hell she was going to just stop.

On the way home she stared out the window, admiring the buildings as they blurred by while she listened to "Rolling in the deep" by Adele on her iPod.

Olivia removed the left earbud, getting her attention.

"I spoke to a nutritionist. And she made up a meal plan for you based on the records the hospital sent over. You have to eat all your meals at the same time. I took off some more time from work so I could be home with you. When we get home it'll be time for lunch. What do you say we order some Chinese, and then we can take a walk?" She said.

'They weren't fucking kidding!' Gen thought.

She forced a smile and nodded.

"Sure" She said shrugging. "Chinese sounds good"

'How the fuck am I going to purge that?! Mom is going to be watching, and probably counting every second I spend in the bathroom!' She thought.

When they got home she went to her room, and stared at the floor - Olivia had long ago cleaned the blood, but she could still picture herself with her leg cut up, bleeding everywhere, and slipping away. She was livid. She had failed, and that made her angry.

'I shouldn't be alive right now!' She raged at herself.

She began unpacking while her mom ordered their lunch. As she was unpacking she noticed she had all these plastic bags, and she got an idea. Since she could no longer purge in the bathroom she would just purge into bags in her room, and throw them away when she could.

'This could work' She thought smiling to herself.

After about 30 minutes Olivia called Gen into the living room where she had arranged the food onto plates, and set out water for both of them.

The last thing Gen wanted to do was eat but she knew she would have to cooperate for awhile.

'Just long enough to get them off my back' She told herself.

She dug into her food with gusto, talking, and laughing with her mother. She couldn't wait to hide away in her room, and purge the food but she would have to wait for the right moment.

"It's great to have you home honey" Olivia said.

"I'm glad to be home! I never want to go to one of those places again!" Gen exclaimed.

* * *

Gen sat, and watched tv with her mother for about 30 minutes before asking for a painkiller, and asking to go lie down. She placed the painkiller under her tongue, and swallowed her water. Once she was inside the safety of her room, she opened her closet door, took out a plastic bag, and heaved into it. Once she was satisfied she felt empty enough she tied the bag shut, and placed it in the back of her closet. She took the painkiller from her pocket, and tossed in into and empty Altoids tin.

'Back in control' She thought.

Olivia knocked on the door before pushing the door open.

"Honey? Are you awake?" She asked.

"Yes" Gen said quietly.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked.

"Nothing. Just tired I guess" Gen answered turning towards her mother with a smile.

"Let's check your weight, and we can go for a walk. Just 30 minutes ok?" Olivia said.

"Ok." Gen said heading to the bathroom.

She hadn't seen her weight since she had been in the hospital, and she was terrified what it might be. She stripped down, and stepped onto the scale.

'103'

'That can't be right!' She thought.

She knew for a fact she was 96 pounds when she went into the hospital. It seems that mush she forced down for the past 3 days was effective in fattening her up.

'FUCK!' She raged.

She had gained 7 pounds.

She looked up at her mother, and weakly smiled.

"So far so good" Olivia beamed, writing down her weight in a small notebook.

"Yeah..."Gen said.

"Don't worry sweetie. You'll stop gaining so fast once your metabolism builds back up" Olivia said cheerfully.

"Can we go on that walk now" She asked smiling up at her mother.

"Yes. Go get dressed" Olivia said placing the notebook on top of the shelf.

Gen was so angry with herself as she slipped on her gym clothes.

'You fat greedy pig! You just don't know how to say "no" to food do you?!' She yelled at herself.

She took a leisure walk around Central Park with her mother. She was on auto-pilot as they made small talk. Part of her felt normal. Like this was the way things were meant to be, and the other part of her wanted to shutdown. She knew one slip and she'd end up back in the hospital, and she hated that place more than she hated school. She would have to survive this way of life. So she forced herself to really enjoy the walk with her mom. While she thought about how to fool her mother and the nutritionist, and Dr. Kerns.

**Even though Gen's feelings during therapy were genuine I don't think she's had enough yet... Who knows? **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I have to take breaks writing this sometimes. Sorry for the wait. Happy reading :)**

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**Chapter 13: Breaking Down**

For the next few days after Gen got home she continued secretly purging in bags and hiding them in the back of her closet. She had 5 bags of putrid puke rottening in the back of her closet that she had forgotten to take out. She hated it. And until Dr. Kerns gave the all clear she was being kept home from school. She found herself getting depressed, and staying in bed until her mother nearly drug her out of it.

"Gen?" Olivia called to her softly as she sat on the side of the bed.

"Honey? What's wrong? You need to get up baby it's time for breakfast" Her mother said as she stroked her head.

Gen didn't respond she just pulled the sheet over her head.

"Oh no young lady we're not doing this. You have got to get up!" Olivia said pulling the covers down.

"Go away" Gen mumbled sniffling.

"No" Olivia said firmly.

"Dammit! Mom leave me alone!" Gen snapped.

"I love you. And you may hate everything right now but the last thing I'm going to do is leave you alone right now" Olivia said.

Gen huffed.

"Mom... I - I can't...I can't do this anymore..." Gen said through strangled sobs.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked.

Gen sat up and looked at her mom.

"I'm gaining weight, I can't go to school, I have no friends, I should have died and I hate everything!" Gen said throwing her hands into the air.

* * *

"How long have you been feeling like this?" Olivia asked.

"For a couple days. I don't know why I'm so angry. I've been so angry mom" Gen said looking down at the floor.

"It's ok baby. Everything is going to be ok with time you'll see" Olivia said pulling Gen into her arms.

"I wish it would be ok mom... I hate this" Gen half whispered.

"I know sweetie. But you just keep talking to me. We're going to be fine" Olivia said kissing Gen's forehead.

"I'll try mom" Gen said wiping tears from her face.

They ate breakfast quietly. Gen waited her usual 30 minutes, and headed to her room to purge. She had just finished hiding the bag of vomit with the others when her mother knocked on the door.

"Sweetie? It's weigh day" Olivia said softly.

'Fuck!' Gen thought.

"I'll be right there" She said offering her mom a genuine smile.

'If I don't make this weeks weight they're gonna know!' Gen thought.

She darted to her dresser, and threw on 2 pairs of tights, leggings, and 2 t-shirts on under her sweatsuit.

'Every extra ounce counts' She thought smiling to herself.

She stepped into the bathroom, and hopped on the scale.

'110'

Her eyes bugged out of her sockets then.

"Honey since when do you weigh with clothes on?" Olivia asked.

"Oh" Gen said quietly.

'Dammit!' She thought as she stepped off the scale, and began undressing.

"Why so many clothes?" Olivia asked.

"Um ... I was cold ..." Gen said looking at the floor.

"Right." Olivia said giving her a look."It's 74 degrees in here" Olivia said raising an eyebrow.

Gen ignored the comment.

Once she was completely stripped off she stepped back onto the scale.

'100' the scale read.

Gen tried to contain her smile. She was losing again. She was back in control like she had longed for.

"Your weight went down 3 pounds" Olivia said recording the weight into the notebook. "Wanna explain that?" She asked waiting for Gen to finish getting dressed.

"N-No" Gen stuttered.

Olivia locked eyes with Gen, and ran her teeth over her bottom lip.

"What are you up to?" Olivia asked somewhat harshly.

"I-I'm not doing anything mom" Gen said her eyes wide.

"You better not be." Olivia said leaving Gen alone in the bathroom.

For the first time Olivia didn't know what to do, and she walked away from her daughter.

* * *

Gen stood there for a moment trying to blink back the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

All she could think was 'She left me, and it's all my fault'

She had never seen her mom so angry with with her at all. She knew her mother had every right to be angry with her but it still hurt. She didn't know why she wanted to continue to purge. Ok maybe she did but she wasn't ready to talk about it yet. She wanted to cut so badly. She ran into the kitchen, and rummaged through the drawers looking for something sharp for her relief. She looked around, seeing no sign of her mother, she slipped the object into her pocket, and headed to her room. She closed the door as quietly as possible, and sat on her floor. She raised up her sleeve, and pressed the box cutter to her skin. She had only drug it across once and the very next minute she felt arms around her, and a hand squeezing her wrist.

"NO! STOP!" Gen shouted, trying to pull away.

"Let it go baby! Whatever it is - please you don't need to do this. Talk to me..." Olivia begged.

"GIVE IT!" Gen shouted.

Olivia squeezed Gen's wrist so hard she feared she might snap it but she couldn't let Gen cut.

Gen released the box cutter. She tried to get out of her mother's arms.

"LET ME GO!" Gen screamed.

"No! I'd do anything for you except let you hurt yourself." Olivia said shaking her head.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY! YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME DIE!" Gen screamed kicking, and struggling wildly in Olivia's arms.

Gen knew she was having a tantrum. She knew she had screamed hurtful things at her mother. But she couldn't help but feel relief yelling those awful things at someone. The feelings she felt towards herself.

Olivia remained silent as Gen calmed down in her arms. She picked up the box cutter, and moved to make eye contact with her daughter.

"Cut me" She rushed out, holding the box cutter out to Gen.

Gen gave her mother a dubious look. Her eyes popped out of her sockets, and her mouth hung open.

"What?" Gen asked

"Cut me" Olivia said clearly.

Gen looked at her mother as if she thought she had lost her mind. She shook her head.

"No" Gen gasped as tears started streaming down her face.

She backed away from her mother, eyes wide with fear.

"No" She said shaking her head.

Olivia put the box cutter in her pocket, and sat on her hands and knees in front of her daughter.

"I'd rather you hurt me, than hurt yourself anymore baby. You gotta start talking ... this stuff is eating you up, and I can't help you because you aren't talking" She said moving closer to Gen.

"N-No ... d-don't come any closer" Gen said terrified.

She was scared of her mother now. But deep down she knew she had no reason to be. She was more afraid of what her mother had been doing. The way she held the box cutter out towards her made her flashback to a torture session with Derek.

Olivia stopped in her tracks.

'I triggered a flashback' Olivia thought.

"You're afraid of me?" Olivia asked barely audible.

Gen nodded, her eyes wide.

"Why?"

Gen pulled her knees up to her chest, and folded her arms around them.

"I don't know" Gen answered softly as she began to rock.

"You know you don't have to be afraid of me honey" Olivia said softly reaching out.

Gen didn't want to remember the memories that flooded into her head when her mother held out the box cutter to her. That's why she was afraid. But she didn't want to talk about it.

She crawled into her mother's arms, and began to ball her eyes out.

"I'm so sorry! I'm losing weight because I've been purging into bags!" She wailed.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her daughter, softly patting her back.

Gen climbed into her mother's lap.

"I don't want to live like this mommy!" She said burying her face into her mother's front.

Olivia stood up, and pulled Gen to her feet. She picked her up, and carried her into her room, laying her in her bed. She got in beside her, and pulled her daughter close.

"It's ok baby." She said kissing her forehead.

Gen continued to sob until she wore herself out and fell asleep in her mother's arms.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: How awesome is this? two chapters in a row! Happy reading! Alex shows up! Gen talks more about her mom!**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Blast From the Past**

Olivia woke up, and watched her daughter sleeping so peacefully snuggled close to her. She exhaled a deep breathe. She started thinking what she could do to help her. She knew if she took her back to the psych ward Gen would lose it. That was the last thing she wanted. Olivia was stressed. She didn't know how to help her, and she was - for the first time, at her wits end. She loved her daughter so much, and if Gen succeeded in killing herself she knew she wouldn't be able to live without her. She rolled out of bed, trying not to disturb Gen, and went into the kitchen.

She turned on the coffee, and opens the blinds. She needed someone to talk to. She didn't want to give up on Gen. She couldn't. She couldn't just treat Gen like a hard to reach victim because she was more than that. She had to find more ways to reach her. Gen was opening up but Olivia knew there was so much more going on that she wasn't talking about. Olivia spotted Dr. Kerns card on the countertop. She pulled out her phone and dialed the number. She listened to the dialtone until the phone went to voicemail.

"Hello Dr. Kerns it's Ms. Benson. Gen is having a hard time. I think she may need more sessions. I was wondering if I could see you privately. I know we're not due in until Monday. But if you could call me back. I'd appreciate it. Thank you."

Just as she hung up. She heard her daughter's barefeet patter on the floor behind her. She turned to face her smiling, her smile falling the minute she saw Gen's face.

Gen's face was red, and tearful. She looked scared.

"What's wrong sweetie" Olivia asked moving towards her.

"Y-you weren't there when I woke up! I thought ... I thought you left me because you got tired of all my sh- I mean you got tired of me" Gen said tearfully.

'Dammit' Olivia thought.

"No baby. I'll never leave you. We're in this together. I'm sorry I walked away from you yesterday. I got frustrated. I won't do that again ok?" Olivia said opening her arms.

Gen wrapped her arms around her mom's waist allowing herself to be embraced.

Olivia led them to the couch pulling Gen into her lap.

"I am disappointed that you were secretly purging. I want to understand why you feel the need to do it still. But I am proud of how you've been opening up and talking to me."Olivia said.

"It's getting easier to tell you things ... I think I'm starting to trust and believe you when you say you love me. Mom I'm so sorry. I just keep thinking about everything. It's on replay in my head. Everytime. Every second." Gen said softly.

"Why don't you tell me about it? I wanna know. I have to know. When the trial starts you have to tell a room full of people." Olivia said, rubbing Gen's back.

Gen shook her head, and snuggled into her mom's arms.

"I ... I don't think I'm ready to tell you yet. I want to tell you but I don't know how" Gen whispered.

* * *

"Just try. Say whatever you want to" Olivia pressed.

"I can't ... it would hurt you too much" Gen said, moving to get out of her mom's lap.

Olivia held her there.

"Why do you do that?" Olivia asked, gently holding Gen's face so she couldn't look away.

"Do what?" Gen asked nervously.

"Why do you start to open up, and then pull away? The only thing that would hurt me is you running away or succeeding in killing yourself. The only thing that would hurt me is living the rest of my life without my daughter in it. Do you understand?" Olivia said.

"I ..." Gen trailed off.

Over the past month and a half Olivia had learned Gen had trouble with physical contact, and eye contact. She would only let Olivia get so close time to time, and then she would retreat. Olivia was determined to break that final barrier. No matter what it took.

"What baby? What is it? I only know so much about you based off your file, observation, and what you tell me. But there's so much more isn't there?" Olivia pressed again.

Gen put her hand on her mom's pulling her face free so she could look away.

"I don't want to talk anymore ..." Gen whispered.

"Please?" Olivia begged.

Gen blew out a breathe, and cleared her throat. She looked back into her mom's eyes.

"What do you want to know?" She asked.

"Let's talk about your mom" Olivia suggested.

"You are my mom" Ged said, tight lipped.

"Your birthmom" Olivia said.

Gen's eyes widened. She just shook her head.

"N-no I-I'd rather not" Gen said, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"I know what she did to you ... well I know what was in the report. Why don't you tell me in your own words huh?" Olivia asked wrapped her arms around Gen.

"She wasn't a bad mom ... at first. She was great from what I can remember. It was just her and my ... my sisters Alexis, and Isis. Mom met this guy, and he would stay sometimes. She was different then. She would act like she didn't want us around. She started yelling at us, and hitting us. She stopped feeding us. That guy and her would fight, and yell. He would leave and come back after a couple of days. The day he didn't come back. That's the day mom put us in the bathtub, and tried to drown us." Gen said, as tears streamed down her face.

"Later I figured out mom and her boyfriend fought about us, and she probably figured if she didn't have us then he would stay with her. She chose him over us!"

Olivia shook her head at the information she had learned and pulled her daughter into a tight hug.

"Is that why you're afraid to let me in? Are you afraid I'd choose someone over you? I promise you, you are my first priority" Olivia asked, wiping the tears from Gen's face.

* * *

_**At the precint...**_

The familiar sound of heels clicked in the hallway before the beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed ADA Alexandra Cabot burst into the squadroom. She looked around for a familiar face until she spotted Fin. She tapped him on the shoulder.

"Alex!" Fin said pulling her into a hug.

"Good to see you too!" Alex chuckled.

He released her and pushed her away to get a good look at her.

"What are you doing here?" Fin asked.

"I'm your ADA again" Alex beamed.

"That's fantastic! Haden, Barba, and Ellis were great. But you were always our favorite!" Fin said.

"I heard about Elliot. How's Liv? Where is she?" Alex asked, looking around

"She's at home with her daughter" Fin smiled pointing to a picture of Olivia and Gen on his desk.

Alex looked at the picture and smiled.

"She's beautiful." Alex said about Gen.

"Yeah Liv took some time off to get Genesis settled, and settle into motherhood. Everyone here loves that kid!" Fin said.

"So Liv is on maternity leave of sorts? Do you think she'd mind if I stopped by, said hello?" Alex asked cautiously.

Fin, Elliot, and Casey were the only ones who knew of Olivia's and Alex's previous relationship. Olivia was devastated when Alex left to the Congo but she understood. Alex had tried to reconnect when she first returned but Olivia gave her the cold shoulder. Alex's torch for Oliva hadn't gone out. And she would do anything to atleast have that friendship back.

"Go see her Alex. She'd be happy to see you" Fin said.

"You'll tell Don I'm back?" Alex asked over her shoulder already heading for Olivia's apartment.

Alex arrived at Olivia's door 20 minutes later, her heart pounding in her chest. She hesitantly knocked on the door. Her heart squeezed in her chest when she heard the locks clicking open. She was met with the beautiful, thin, tanned skinned girl she had seen just minutes ago on Fin's desk.

"Hi" Alex said smiling.

Gen grasped the door. She had never seen this woman before.

"Who are you?" Gen asked, somewhat rudely.

"I'm Alex. Is your mom home?" Alex asked.

"Mom!" Gen called.

"What is it?" Olivia asked coming to the door with a smile on her face.

Olivia's eyes met Alex's and her face fell.

"Alex" Olivia breathed. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm back. How are you Liv?" Alex asked.

"Good" Olivia's smile returned as she looked down at her daughter. "Uhh ... would you like to come in?" Olivia asked moving Gen out of the way.

"Thanks" Alex said stepping inside.

"So. What are you doing here?" Olivia asked settling on the couch.

Alex watched as Gen curled up next to her mother. She couldn't help but smile.

"I'm SVU's ADA again" Alex said sitting in the armchair diagnol from the couch.

"Oh ... well welcome back!" Olivia smiled.

"You look happy" Alex said, the words escaping her mouth as soon as she thought them.

"I am. I'm complete now" Olivia said kissing Gen's forehead.

'I hope there's still room for me' Alex thought.

"Can we talk?" Alex asked, looking to Gen who seemed to be avoiding making eye contact with her.

"Sure" Olivia said. "Sweetie? Go to your room for awhile ok?" Olivia said to her daughter.

"Ok. I think I need a nap anyway" Gen said, glancing at Alex before heading to her room.

Olivia watched and waited until Gen was out of sight before turning her attention back to Alex.

"What do you want to talk about?" Olivia asked, sitting cross legged on the couch.

"I miss you" Alex blurted out.

Olivia sat back in surprise.

"Alex ..." Olivia started.

Alex moved to sit on the couch next to her.

"Hear me out. I know that I just up, and left to the Congo without much of a notice, and that messed things up with us. I've always loved you Liv. I always will. And I know it's going to take some work. But I want you back." Alex said, making her intent clear.

"It's not that easy. It's not just me anymore. I have a child now. A child who needs work..." Olivia said softly.

"Liv she's beautiful!I accept your daughter. I want to be apart of your family" Alex said, placing her hand on Olivia's knee.

"Alex ... I need to learn to trust you again. Gen has trouble trusting people, especially new people. I've taken time off of work to be with her. She tried to kill herself, she's got an eating disorder, she's dealing with so much" Olivia expressed.

"You're helping her, and taking care of her. Who are you leaning on?" Alex asked. "Give me a chance. At the very least let's be friends. I'll go as slow as you want" Alex said.

* * *

Olivia chewed the inside of her cheek as she thought about what Alex had said. God she had missed her. They had such dreams when they were together. She missed their free flow of conversation.

"I still love you Alex, and I have missed you too. We'll start off as friends. No expectations. Just see where it goes from there." Olivia said.

Alex internally squealed. Her face broke out into a wide smile.

"Great! Why don't I come by after work on Friday, and cook dinner for ... What's her name?" Alex asked.

Olivia giggled.

"Genesis" Olivia said.

"Genesis - it's beautiful. I'll come cook you two dinner!" Alex said.

"Ok. We'll be happy to have you" Olivia said, walking Alex towards the door.

Olivia opened the door to let Alex out.

Alex leaned in and hugged Olivia.

"Goodnight Olivia" Alex said softly.

"Goodnight Alex" Olivia said, closing the door behind her.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Alex is the one pursuing Liv in this story. Just wanted to make that clear. Happy reading ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 15: Breaking Barriers**

Monday morning rolled around, and Alex had thought of nothing else but Olivia, and Genesis. She was so happy at the chance of winning her back. She wanted to get to know Gen, and get reconnected with Olivia. She hated Monday it felt like a slow crawl to Friday. She called Olivia to see what she wanted her to make for dinner.

"Hello" Olivia answered, slightly smiling seeing Alex's name on the caller ID.

"Hey Liv! I was wondering what you guys wanted me to make for dinner..." Alex said, chewing her bottom lip

"Urm ... there's not much Gen will actually eat. The task is keeping her away from the toilet afterwards ... Make anything. I'll coax her into eating it ok? Hey, Alex I have to get going. Gen has therapy in 30 minutes. Text me?" Olivia asked.

'If I play this right ill be apart of this, standing by Liv's side.' Alex thought wistfully.

"Alright. You'll let me know how that goes?" Alex asked.

"Of course" Olivia said.

'I love you' Alex thought.

"Ok. Buh - bye" Alex said, ending the call.

Olivia hung up the phone, and turned to face her daughter with a smile on her face.

"Who was that?" Gen asked.

"That was Alex ... the woman who came by on Saturday. She's cooking dinner for us on Friday night" Olivia says excitedly.

Gen just frowned.

"Sweetheart? What's wrong?" Olivia asked, moving closer to Gen concerned.

"Who is she to you?" Gen asked, folding her arms.

"Can we talk about this in the car? We're going to be late." Olivia asked, opening the door.

Once they got settled in the car Gen turned towards her mother expectantly.

"Well?" She snapped.

Olivia started the car, and headed towards Dr. Kerns office.

"Alex is an old friend of mine" Olivia began. "Actually she's more than that. We had a relationship a few years ago before she left the country. She wants to try again, and I still love her. But I want you to understand that she is not going to take your place in my life honey" Olivia said softly.

Gen remained silent for a few moments. She thought about the blonde woman she had had brief contact with a couple days ago. She seemed nice. If her mother loved the woman she would try too.

"I want to get to know her" Gen said.

"You do?" Olivia asked, over excitedly."It doesn't bother you that I date women?" Olivia asked.

"If you love her, and you're going to take her back then I want to get to know her since she'll be around. And no mom it doesn't bother me that you're into women. It's kind of a relief ... I'm still ... uneasy around men anyway." Gen said, giving her mother a half smile.

Olivia reached over and squeezed her knee.

"That's my girl. I love you so much! You know that right?" Olivia said.

"I know. I promise I do." Gen said, nodding.

'Finally getting somewhere' Olivia thought.

Once inside Dr. Kerns office, Gen and Olivia settled into their usual postitions on the couch.

"Olivia I apologize for not calling you back. My weekend was hell. Unfortunately I cannot take you on as it is a conflict of interest because I am seeing you, and Genesis as a family. I can recommend another therapist for you if you so wish" Dr. Kerns said.

"No that's alright. I panicked because Gen" Olivia paused. "Do you want to tell her sweetie?" Olivia asked, taking Gen's hand in her own.

"I have been purging in bags, and keeping them hidden in the back of my closet. I almost cut the other day, and my mom stopped me! I've been easily pissed off lately, and I don't know why!" Gen expressed.

"What were you feeling when you had the urge to purge, and cut?" Dr. Kerns asked.

"I was mad, and I was having flashbacks. I ... I really don't know ..." Gen said, looking at the floor wishing it would open up and swallow her.

"Olivia how did you stop Genesis from cutting?" Dr. Kerns asked.

"When I walked in and saw her with the box cutter blade pressed to her skin I grabbed her into my arms, and squeezed her wrist, so hard I thought I would break it, but I squeezed until she let go. Then I held her. I got her attention, and I held the razor up to her telling her to cut me instead." Olivia explained.

"And did she cut you?" Dr. Kerns asked.

Olivia shook her head.

"No ... I triggered a flashback unintentionally and she shrank away afraid instead. She didn't talk about it though." Olivia said.

"Genesis can you tell us about the flashback you had?" Dr. Kerns asked.

Gen shook her head.

"I don't wanna talk anymore" She whispered.

She sat staring at the floor swinging her legs in circles in the air. She zoned out.

Olivia sat watching her retreat back into herself and sighed.

"This is the thing she does at home. She only let's me get so close, and then she'll put the wall back up" Olivia said, swallowing back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"How does that make you feel?" Dr. Kerns asked.

"Helpless!" Olivia said, shrugging.

"I just want to help her. But she won't let me in ... she won't" Olivia said, her voice cracking.

Gen snapped her head towards her mother and watched silently as the tears flowed down her face.

"I'm sorry mommy! God I'm so sorry! Please don't cry!" Gen said, as she gently caught the tears flowing down her mother's face.

Olivia took Gen into her arms, and held her tight.

"I love you baby girl. I know it's not your fault. But you've got to try. Please honey." Olivia said.

"I love you too. And I'll try I'll really try. It's just sometimes I don't want to tell you because I know it will be hard for you to hear" Gen said.

"This is slight progress." Dr. Kerns said.

"But now our time is up. I'll see you two on Wednesday" Dr. Kerns said.

"Thank you Dr." Olivia said as they made their way out the door.

* * *

When they got back to the car they both got lost in their seperate thoughts.

'How am I going to get through to her? I hate seeing her hurt like this' Olivia thought, as she made her way back to the apartment.

'I don't know why I just won't let mom in. She hasn't hurt me, and I'm pretty sure she never would. What the hell is wrong with me? I make everything so difficult!' Gen thought.

"What do you want for lunch? I let you skip breakfast but I'm not letting you skip lunch and dinner" Olivia asked.

"Do I have to eat?" Gen whined.

"Yes you do" Olivia said firmly.

"But I'm really not hungry mom" Gen said, pouting.

"You have to have something. What about some teryaki chicken, and rice?" Olivia asked.

Gen sighed, and nodded.

"Fine" She grumbled.

When they got home with the food Gen had thought of every possible reason to make it so she wouldn't have to eat. She really didn't want to eat. She decided to pick a fight with her mother.

"I'M NOT EATING THAT SHIT!" She shouted.

Olivia turned around to face her daughter, eyes wide in surprise at her sudden outburst.

"Genesis Iyana Benson ... what is your problem?" Olivia asked.

Gen crossed her arms.

"I just told you I don't want to eat. All you fucking care about is if I eat or not! Well guess what Mom I don't want to!" Gen snapped.

"Of course I care if you eat or not! I'm your mother! I want you to eat, to live, to grow! You may not care if you live or die but I do!" Olivia blurted out.

Gen stormed off towards her room, just about ready to slam the door when Olivia squeezed through. Gen backed away, and slid down the edge of her bed to the floor.

"No! You can't shut yourself away from me anymore. I'll keep fighting with you until you give up, and let me in.I'm just as stubborn as you are. What is wrong?!" Olivia cried.

"Please just leave me alone" Gen said, softly.

"Mm-mm I can't do that" Olivia said, shaking her head, and folding her arms.

"OH MY GOD MOM! DAMMIT! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE OK?! FUCK! I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO EAT, AND YOU JUST KEEP PUSHING AND PUSHING! I'M FAT ENOUGH AS IT IS FOR FUCK SAKE AND YOU WANT TO SHOVEL MORE FOOD DOWN MY THROAT! I DON'T WANT TO EAT! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE!I HATE EVERYTHING! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?! I JUST WANT TO SLEEP, AND WAKE UP AS SOMEONE ELSE. SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS SHIT!" Gen shouted.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, she could hear her heartbeat in her ears. She was taking short irratic breathes.

Olivia just stood where she was. She couldn't help the small smile that crept across her face. She slowly moved towards her daughter, and lowered herself beside her. She pulled her into her arms.

"Do you feel better?" Olivia asked.

"I'm sorry mom I didn't mean to yell at you ... I just ... I don't know..." Gen said, chewing the inside of her cheek.

"Don't you realize what you've done? Honey, you may not realize it but you let me in. You told me how you were feeling. You opened up to me" Olivia said.

Gen looked into her mother's eyes - tearful- and smiled.

"I did?" Gen asked.

She couldn't believe it. She yearned to have a close relationship with her mother. She didn't want to keep pushing her away. That was the best news she had heard in awhile.

'Maybe things will get better' Gen thought.

"Yes baby. You did" Olivia said stroking her hair.

"I like it" Gen said, cuddling into her mother.

* * *

Tuesday...

Wednesday...

Thursday...

After an uneventful 3 days Friday had arrived, and Alex arrived at 7:30, and began making chicken alfredo with french bread for dinner. When she arrived Gen answered the door again, and Alex presented her with a single white rose, and handed Olivia a bouquet of red roses.

"Thanks Alex" Olivia said, embracing the blonde.

"You're welcome." Alex said, smiling when Olivia pulled away.

"Thank you" Gen said softly.

"You're welcome Genesis" Alex said, smiling at her.

Gen gave Alex a toothy smile. "You can call me Gen"

They moved into the kitchen, Alex and Olivia began throwing dinner together while Gen sat on the bar stool watching for a moment before she began setting the table.

"How was work?" Olivia asked, casually. She was cubing the chickent while Alex set the water to boil to get the pasta going.

"It was good. The team seems to be managing without you. I cleared alot of paperwork. Now I have to start preparing for a case. This sick bastard named Derek Lambert -"

'CRASH'

Alex was cut off to Gen dropping the ceramic plates she had to the floor.

"No no no no no" Gen started having a panic attack.

Her vision blurred, she couldn't breathe. She could see Derek above her, hitting her, and hurting her.

She crumpled to the floor, and curled up shaking.

"Dammit" Olivia said, putting the knife down and moving towards Gen.

Alex froze in the middle of the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked.

"She's his victim" Olivia said trying to pick Gen up from the floor.

"C'mon baby" Olivia said carrying her into the bathroom.

Alex followed, wanting to help but unsure of what to do.

"Is there anything I can do?" Alex asked.

"Run a washcloth under some warm water for me please" Olivia said sitting Gen on top of the closed toilet seat lid.

Alex glanced at the child who was shaking, with her eyes fixed straight ahead. She ran a washcloth under warm water like Olivia had asked, and brought it over to her.

"Here Liv" She said gently, handing the cloth to Olivia.

"Thanks" Olivia said, taking the cloth. She began to smooth the cloth over her daughter's arms, and face.

Gen gasped.

"That's it ... feels nice huh? Take deep breathes ... you're ok ... he's not here ... Mom's got you" Olivia murmured sweetly to her daughter.

Alex just stood, and watched in awe. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Gen threw her arms around her mother's neck.

"I don't want to go to court!" She cried.

Olivia rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"Shh ... we will talk about that later. You can lay down on the couch while Alex and I fix dinner" Olivia said, once again picking the girl up. This time depositing her onto the couch.

Once Gen was calmed down, Alex and Olivia moved back into the kitchen to finish preparing dinner. The silence was mounting between them and Olivia couldn't take anymore.

"What's on your mind Alex?" Olivia asked.

"She's the little girl he tied up and raped in an alley? Liv how did that happen?" Alex asked.

"She ran away from me, and she was unfortunate to cross paths with him. He was her foster father before she ended up with me,and I adopted her." Olivia answered softly, trying to keep the conversation quiet.

"I have to talk to her Liv." Alex said.

"I know you do. When Amanda took her statement, she wouldn't even say the words Alex. She wrote it out on paper. She still won't talk about it. None of it. She blames herself..." Olivia said, turning away from Alex, putting the cubed chicken into a pan to sear.

"There was evidence of a fetus mentioned in the file..." Alex said, not sure how to approach that.

"Yes he got her pregnant. He brutalized my little girl. When I found them in that alley I wanted nothing more than to kill him." Olivia growled.

"You saw?" Alex asked softly.

"As soon as I realized she was missing I went looking for her" Olivia said, as tears started spilling from her eyes.

Alex wrapped her into a hug.

"I'll nail his ass to the wall Liv. He will pay for what he did to our - I mean your daughter" Alex said, pulling away, heat creeping into her cheeks.

Olivia smiled.

"You accept her?" Olivia asked.

"I know I don't know her as well as you Liv, but she's beautiful, she loves you, she's yours. What's not to love?" Alex said, cupping Olivia's cheek thumbing away the tears that continued to fall.

"Let me love you Liv, let me love her, let me be apart of your family. I know you said you wanted to take things slow, and I respect that but please consider me before anyone else." Alex said, still holding Olivia at the waist.

"She did say earlier in the week she wanted to get to know you because she knows I love you" Olivia said.

"I really want this to work Liv. I'm not leaving this time" Alex said, as she released Olivia to finish the pasta.

* * *

Once dinner was finished. Olivia woke Gen so she could eat with them at the table.

Gen sat silently picking at the food on her plate.

"Is my cooking that awful?" Alex asked, teasingly. "Your mom helped!"

Gen looked at the blonde woman, and smiled.

"No it's not your cooking ... I just don't feel hungry." Gen said, shrugging her shoulders.

Alex leaned closer to Gen.

"Will you try a little for me?" She asked.

"Oh alright" Gen said, she whirled some pasta around her fork, and stuck it into her mouth, chewing slowly, then she swallowed.

"Mmmm that's good!" Gen said, taking another bite.

"Thank you" Alex beamed.

Olivia sat silently watching the interaction between the two of them, and smiled.

'I wouldn't mind seeing this every night' Olivia thought.

After dinner Gen showered, and went to sleep in her mother's bed. She didn't think she could sleep otherwise.

Olivia checked on her once more before returning to Alex on the couch.

"You're great with her!" Olivia said, pulling her legs into the couch. "She's not usually that open with people she doesn't know. She's barely that open with me" Olivia said.

"She's wonderful. Liv I love her already. So much" Alex said, reaching for her glass of wine.

"I loved her too, the moment her eyes met mine" Olivia said remembering the day she brought Gen home.

Olivia gently took the glass of wine from Alex, and put it back on the coffee table before suprising the blonde woman and sitting in her lap.

Alex looked into her eyes, wrapping her hands around her waist.

"You can't leave me again. You can't leave her. You can't leave us" Olivia said, as her lips hovered over Alex's.

"Liv I have no intentions of leaving you ever again. And I wouldn't dare hurt that girl by doing so" Alex said, as she closed the remaining inches between their lips with a soft, undemanding kiss.

**I think this is my longest Ch. Review me. **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Fluff, and family building mush haha!**

* * *

**Chapter 16: The Weekend**

Alex had her hands underneath Olivia's shirt reuniting herself with the soft skin, and muscle covering her back. God she had missed kissing, holding and touching this woman. But she didn't want to get ahead of herself. She forced herself to stop. She gently pushed Olivia away, and locked her blue eyes with Olivia's brown. Catching the hurt she saw there she pulled the brunette flush against her, smiled, and shook her head.

"What?" Olivia asked. "Alex?"

Alex played with a strand of Olivia's hair absentmindedly. She took in a deep breathe and sighed.

"I don't want to rush things Liv. I've missed you so much. I want to do things right this time" Alex said softly.

"I've missed you too. Why did you stop?" Olivia growled, playfully nipping at Alex's bottom lip.

"I'm not going to make love to you Liv" Alex said.

Olivia untangled herself from Alex and sat beside her on the couch looking crushed. When Alex saw the tears threaten to spill, she clarified herself.

"Not yet Liv. You want to take things slow, and I want to give you that"

Olivia ran her fingers through her hair,sighed and nodded.

"I know. I know. You're right" Olivia smiled.

"Can I hold you for awhile before I go?" Alex asked.

"You don't have to go ... it's late. You could stay. On the couch I mean"

Alex nodded.

Olivia layed her head on Alex's shoulder, and wrapped her arms around her waist. They sat silently for a few moments.

"Thank you" Olivia said.

"For what?" Alex asked confused.

"Helping me take care of Gen tonight, and getting her to eat a few bites of food" Olivia said.

"You're welcome. The court date hasn't been set yet. But I have to talk to her Liv" Alex said.

"I know, she hasn't talked to me about it. And I don't know if I'm ready to hear what she will say-" Olivia said.

"NO! NOOO! STOP! STOP!"

Their conversation was interrupted with screams coming from Olivia's room. They looked at eachother and jumped up from the couch.

* * *

Olivia reached her first, and pulled Gen into her arms.

Alex sat on the opposite side of her.

"Shhh sweetie you're having a nightmare." Olivia said.

Gen thrashed around for a minute, before snapping her eyes open.

"No!" She gasped.

She sat up looking around the room, trying to reassure herself of where she was.

"It's ok he's not here" Olivia soothed.

"B-but it was s-so real" Gen said, choking on the sobs caught in her throat.

"What happened?" Olivia asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it" Gen said shaking her head.

She moved to lay down but didn't remove herself from her mother's arms.

"Can you guys stay with me? Please?" Gen asked, nuzzling closer to her mother.

Olivia looked over at Alex, mouth agape. She mouthed."She's never asked me to stay with her before"

Alex mouthed back."I'm in if you're in"

"We don't have our pj's on honey" Olivia said, kissing Gen's hair.

"So change" Gen mumbled.

"Alright." Olivia chuckled.

Her and Alex both made to get up when Gen grasped Alex's hand.

"You aren't both going to leave me are you?" Gen asked, her eyes wide with fear.

Alex sat back down.

"I'll stay with her while you go change Liv" Alex said, wrapping her arms around Gen.

Olivia smiled, and went into her bathroom to change into her pj's. When she came out she slid in next to Gen and wrapped her arms around her. She looked up at Alex and told her she left a t-shirt, and shorts out for her in the bathroom. When Alex came out from changing her clothes she slid in on the other side of Gen.

Gen was snug against her mother's front, silently letting the tears fall, she wasn't aware her mother was still awake.

"What's wrong baby girl?" Olivia asked.

Gen sighed, and rubbed at her face.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were sleepin." Gen answered.

"I can't sleep until I know you're ok. Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" Olivia said.

"I'm ok." Gen said.

She moved to turn over but Olivia still had her arms around her, and didn't let her get far.

"Mom?" Gen asked nervously.

"Shh ... c'mere" Olivia said, pulling Gen closer to her.

"I can't tell you mom" Gen whispered.

"Yes you can honey yes you can" Olivia said.

Alex had remained silent this whole time. But she wanted Gen to know she was there for her too.

"You can tell us anything" Alex said, reaching out and placing her hand on Gen's back.

Gen only slightly flinched but she didn't wrench away.

"In the morning? I'm tired." Gen said, she pressed herself closer to her mother, and fell asleep listening to her heartbeat.

* * *

Olivia and Alex stayed awake watching over Gen, and whispering through the night.

"She has had it rough." Alex whispered.

"Yeah she has, and she won't let anyone in. She's trying though" Olivia said.

"She has us now" Alex said.

"I just wish she could trust that..." Olivia said.

"If anyone can reach anyone that's broken it's you Liv" Alex said.

Silence.

Alex smiled to herself. She was where she wanted to be. She would fight for Gen in and out of court, and she would fight for Liv.

The next morning Alex woke up to find Gen and Olivia still asleep. She gently got up, and made her way into the kitchen putting, on the coffee, and went about making breakfast for everyone.

She had just finished the pancakes when she heard two sets of bare feet patter into the kitchen behind her. She smiled as she turned around to see Olivia tugging on a robe, and Gen peeking from behind with slightly lidded eyes.

"Good morning!" Alex said, cheerfully.

Olivia yawned, and stretched. "Good morning ... is that coffee?" She asked making her way over to the machine.

"Good morning" Gen said, offering Alex an amiable smile.

"Mom?" Gen said, seeking her mother's attention.

"Yes sweetie?" Olivia asked, blowing at her coffee before taking a sip.

"Can I have some?" Gen asked, with a light in her eyes.

"Coffee? This isn't the Starbucks frappucinno you're used to!" Olivia chuckled.

Gen looked at Olivia with big brown eyes, and poked out her bottom lip. "Please momma?" She asked, batting her eyelashes.

"Oh alright" Olivia said, offering her daughter the cup.

Gen smiled and took a sip.

"Mmmm! I think I wouldn't mind having my coffee hot from time to time!" Gen said.

Alex looked from Gen to Olivia, and wondered if it was always like this in the mornings. She would give anything to be apart of every morning with her two favorite girls.

"Who's ready for breakfast?" Alex asked.

Gen's eyes bugged out slightly.

"Umm ... I'm gonna go take a shower" Gen said, slowly trying to back out of the kitchen.

"Freeze!" Olivia said.

Gen held up her hands in a playful manner.

"No move your little butt over to the table young lady!" Olivia said.

"Aww mom c'mon do I have to?" Gen whined.

"You ate barely nothing last night. If you eat 1 whole pancake, and half your eggs, and a piece of bacon ill let you have a cup of coffee to yourself. Besides you don't want to hurt Alex's feelings do you? After she went through all that trouble." Olivia said, hoping the bribe of caffeine would get her to eat.

"Super sweet like yours?" Gen asked, with a gleam in her eyes.

"Yes" Olivia said, smiling at her daughter.

Olivia relished in the moments when her daughter was truly happy. They were so few and far between because of the many demons in her past that haunted her.

* * *

Once the breakfast dishes were washed and put away the trio sat around the living room just looking at eachother.

"I guess I had better be going. I'll see you two soon" Alex said, getting up to take her leave.

"Alex?" Gen asked.

"Yes?" Alex asked back.

"Me and mom don't really do anything on Saturdays, and well you should hang out with us!" Gen said.

Alex looked to Olivia for assurance.

Olivia just smiled, and nodded.

"What would you like to do Gen?" Alex asked.

"Let's go see a movie!" Gen suggested.

Olivia froze, and the memories of the last movie visit with her daughter - nearly 2 weeks before - flooded through her head.

Alex caught on to Olivia's sudden unease.

"Liv? Do you wanna go to the movies?" Alex asked.

Olivia swallowed, and tried to recover the happy atmosphere.

"Gen? C'mere." Olivia beckoned her daughter to sit in her lap.

"Yes mom" Gen asked looking into her mother's eyes longer than she was use to.

"You're not going to try to run off again are you?" Olivia asked.

"No. I promise. If I have to go to the bathroom ill take you or Alex with me." Gen said.

'Maybe the movies wasn't the greatest idea' Gen thought.

She got caught up in a flashback. As hard as she had tried to push what happened 2 weeks ago behind her it wouldn't go away. She didn't want anything that related to that horror to come back on her now. But it seemed she just couldn't escape it. But suddenly it didn't matter. She was no longer safe in her house with her mother.

She was back in the alley with Derek beating her with the belt, slamming her head back, and slobbering on her body. His hands where everywhere, and the more she resisted the more aroused he became.

Olivia noticed the change in her.

Alex sat still waiting to follow Olivia's lead.

Olivia brought her hand up to Gen's face, and Gen threw herself onto the floor, and curled into a ball.

'Exactly what I was afraid of' Olivia thought, as she got off the couch, and crouched beside Gen on the floor.

"Honey?" Olivia asked softly.

"NO! PLEASE NO!" Gen screamed.

"Where are you right now?" Olivia asked.

"D-DEREK PLEASE JUST GET IT OVER WITH ... JUST THIS TIME PLEASE KILL ME!" Gen screamed.

Olivia pulled Gen into her arms, and held her.

"Baby girl open your eyes please" Olivia said softly.

"No! If I don't look I can't see what you're doing to me, and then it's not really happening!" Gen yelled.

"Gen open your eyes" Olivia said.

Gen opened her eyes, and she realized she was safe again. She was at home with her mom, her safest place, in her mother's arms.

Her breathing slowly returned to normal.

"Where are you?" Olivia asked.

"At home with you mom" Gen said quietly.

Alex had watched the whole scene unfold and she had bit her bottom lip so hard nearly biting through trying to force the tears back.

'Derek Lambert's ass is mine' Alex thought.

After Gen had completely calmed down she cleared her throat. She looked at Alex who was on her right, and at her mother who was on her left.

"Awkward..." Gen said, in her attempt to break the ice.

"You haven't scared me away. I'm not going anywhere" Alex said with conviction.

"Same here" Olivia said, pulling Gen closer to her.

"So ... how about that movie?" Gen asked, trying to avoid the emotions she had bubbling within her.

"If we're going we should head out now" Alex said.

"Let's go then!" Olivia said grabbing Gen's hand and pulling her up from the couch.

The trio headed outside of Olivia's apartment complex, and hailed the upcoming cab. Alex opened the door and let Olivia in first - after kissing her chastely on the lips, Gen, and then herself. She was beginning to love the weekends!

**Review me! **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: This ch. turns out quite fluffy :) Hope yall like it!**

* * *

**Chapter 17: Jealousy**

Olivia, Gen, and Alex sat at the dinner table. Alex and Olivia talked, laughed and ate, while Gen sat in silence pushing the food around her plate.

"Gen?" Olivia asked.

Gen didn't answer she just sat there still lost in her thoughts. Alex seemed nice enough but she didn't know her, and she didn't trust her. But her mom seemed happy, and that's what she wanted for her because she had brought so much sadness.

"Gen, honey?" Olivia asked again.

'Why am I like this? I ruin everything. Maybe I should just disappear' Gen thought.

Olivia got up, and jostled Gen's shoulder.

"Hm?" Gen asked, looking up at her mother.

"Are you ok? You're not eating, and you have been staring into space for the better part of the last 10 minutes" Olivia asked, concern laced in her tone.

"I'm fine. I'm gonna go shower now" Gen said, moving to get up and leave the table.

"Not so fast young lady" Olivia said authoritivly.

Gen spun back around to face her.

"What? I'm not hungry, ok?" Gen said.

She was beginning to get irritated, and she wasn't sure why. She just wanted to be left alone. Alone to starve, and die. She wanted to hide her despair but she knew her mother saw through her like she was glass.

"No" Olivia crossed her arms, and shook her head. "Not ok. What's with you?" Olivia asked, stepping closer to Gen.

"Not now mom we have company" Gen snapped, before retreating and heading for the bathroom.

Olivia was hot on her heels but Gen still managed to slam the door in her face, and lock the door.

Gen lifted the toilet lid, bent over, shoved her fingers to the back of her throat, and purposefully gagged herself loudly.

'Peace' Gen thought.

Olivia heard Gen purging, and she was broken hearted. She slid down the wall to the floor, and let the tears consume her.

"Baby please" Olivia begged, her voice cracking.

"No!" Gen said, before emptying herself completely.

"Liv?" Alex asked, crouching down in front of Olivia.

Olivia's lip quivered before she threw herself into Alex's open arms.

"I don't know where this came from. She hasn't done it since she got out of the psych ward. I thought we were getting somewhere Lex!" Olivia cried.

"Slips are part of recovery right?" Alex soothed.

Olivia nodded in the crook of Alex's neck.

Silence.

Then the impending toilet flush, followed by the faucet. Finally the lock on the door clicked, and Gen stepped out, smiling to herself.

Her smile fell when she saw her mother in Alex's embrace.

She was not amused. She cleared her throat, and folded her arms across her front.

Olivia and Alex broke apart, looking up at Gen leaning against the frame of the bathroom.

"If you two will excuse me I'm going to bed now" She seethed.

She stepped over the two, and made her way to her room, but she didn't get very far.

Olivia just simply grabbed her up, carried into her room, and dropped her on her bed.

"Mom what the fuck?!" Gen screeched, she moved to get up from the bed.

"Stop it!" Olivia commanded.

* * *

Gen swallowed hard, and took a deep breathe. She felt tears stinging her eyes. She didn't know why she was so miserable, and why she was being so awful towards her mother.

"I'm sorry" Gen mumbled, looking down at the floor.

"Stay here. I'll be right back." Olivia said sternly.

'Fuck! Now I've done it' Gen thought.

Olivia re-emerged in the kitchen where Alex was clearing the dishes, and heading to the sink.

Alex turned when she heard Olivia's footsteps.

"How is she?" Alex asked.

"I'm not sure. I have to talk to her, and it could be awhile before she actually tells me what's going on, and I don't want you just waiting around while I deal with all of this-"

Olivia was cut off by Alex's lips.

"You ramble when you're upset" Alex said when they broke apart. "It's very cute"

Olivia took a deep breathe, and sighed. "Thank you."

"Go take care of your daughter Liv. I'm not going anywhere. If you need me I'm only a call away" Alex said, before turning to start washing the dishes.

Olivia retreated back to her room to find Gen exactly where she had left her. She closed the door behind her, and got onto the bed next to Gen.

"What's going on with you?" Olivia asked.

Gen sighed, and looked into her mother's eyes.

How could she tell her mother she felt like she was spiraling out of control, and that she really didn't like the new person that was insisting on being in their life? Nothing personal against Alex, not really, she just didn't want to share her mom. Olivia was _hers_. She felt like a possessive toddler, and she hated it.

She opened and closed her mouth repeatedly with no sound coming out. She had no excuse for the purging, and she knew that.

Olivia remained beside her patiently, silently waiting.

"I don't want to share you...you're mine mommy" Gen murmured.

Olivia couldn't help but smile at the words.

"You're jealous?" Olivia laughed out.

"Not funny!" Gen said.

"Alex is not taking me from you baby girl. She just wants to be apart of us. She cares about you" Olivia said softly.

Gen huffed in frustration.

"But I know it's more than that. So tell me. You can tell me" Olivia said.

"I feel like I'm falling apart again ... like I want to disappear where no one can find me. Everything is on repeat in my head, every second, and it won't shut up" Gen said, wrapping her arms around herself.

"How long have you been feeling like this?" Olivia asked.

"A few days. I want to cut so bad" Gen said, gripping the comforter in a fist.

"You haven't?" Olivia said, pulling at her arms, and checking her for new wounds.

"No. I promise. But the urge to do it is heavy." Gen said in a whisper.

* * *

"Why didn't you come to me?" Olivia asked.

"Because ever since Alex showed up you have been so happy, and that's when I realized how much sadness I bring to your life" Gen blurted out.

Olivia shook her head. She pulled Gen into her lap with no fight, and kissed her.

"Being your mother has been challenging but can't you see that you are my greatest joy? I never thought id be able to have this. I gave up on having a child of my own a longtime ago" Olivia said.

Gen's eyes widened at her mother's words, and then her brow furrowed.

"What are you thinking?" Olivia asked.

"I ... I just can't help but thinking one day ill wake up and you won't be there and ill still be at ..." She swallowed. "Derek's house..."

"He will never touch you again. No one will ever hurt you again" Olivia said fiercely.

Gen bit her bottom lip to keep the tears at bay but it was a failure. They flowed freely down her face, and she snuggled into her mother's embrace.

"It's ok honey. Everything is going to be ok" Olivia said softly, as she stroked her daughters hair.

She pushed her away softly to look into her eyes.

"You'll give Alex a chance won't you?" Olivia asked.

Gen nodded.

"I said I would try. I will" Gen sniffed.

"Good. How about we go back out there, and you eat dessert? It's mud pie ..." Olivia said.

For some reason Gen wanted to eat. She didn't know what was happening. But she wasn't going to fight it. She climbed off the bed.

"I'm allll over that!" Gen said.

"Not if I get there first!" Olivia said with a twinkle in her eye.

"No way mom!" Gen raced to the door, and made a dash for the kitchen with Olivia right behind her.

Olivia grabbed Gen by the back of her shirt, and gently tugged her backwards, and raced ahead of her.

"Hey! No fair!" Gen said.

Alex stepped out of the kitched, and watched in amusement as the two rough housed.

Olivia remembered to be careful because Gen was still fragile.

"What on earth are you 2 doing?" Alex asked.

Gen had managed to wrangle her mom to the floor. She looked up at Alex and smiled.

"Mom said there was mud pie in the kitchen and we can't seem to agree that I'm going to eat all of it" Gen said, taking ragged breathes.

Her moment of distraction was all it took for Olivia to turn the tables and began tickling her daughter.

"All the mud pie?" Olivia asked.

"Ok! Ok! I'll share!" Gen squealed delightedly between laughs.

"That's better!" Olivia said, stopping her attack, and pulling Gen to her feet.

Alex stood still replaying that scene before her. She was mesmorized. She knew then for sure that she definitely wanted to be apart of this.

"Alex!" Olivia called.

Alex shook her head, and smiled turning to face Olivia.

"Hm?" Alex asked.

"You comin'?!" Olivia said.

Alex face turned up into a wide smile. "Of course"

She reached for Olivia's hand and went back into the kitchen.

Gen was comically guarding the pie, her face scrunched.

"My pie!" Gen said looking between Olivia and Alex.

"We know how to handle you!" Olivia looked over at Alex, and they parted to sandwich Gen between them.

"No! No more tickling!" Gen said feigning despair.

**Review me ...**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: This is a shortie ... happy reading :)**

* * *

**Chapter 18: Anxiety**

Olivia awoke to find the spot where Gen slept the night before empty. She got up and began to search for her. She checked Gen's room, the bathroom, and the living room. Gen was nowhere to be found and she began to get worried. She was near frantic when her phone chimed.

_Hey mom, you were sleep and I didn't want to wake you. I couldn't go back to sleep so I went for a run. Sorry if you're worried - Gen_

Olivia sighed in relief and instantly replied.

_You're damn right I'm worried! Where are you?! When you get home you are in big trouble. You scared me! You know you're not allowed to exercise - Mom_

_Mom I'm sorry. I just had to run off this stress. I'm almost home - Gen_

_You better be - Mom_

10 minutes later Olivia heard Gen come in. She met her in the living room, and wrapped her into a tight hug. She pushed Gen away from her to check her over.

"Mom?" Gen asked warily.

She cringed as her mom continued to inspect her.

"Mom I'm fine, really" Gen said, between heaving breathes.

Olivia pulled her back into her arms.

"You scared me to death! Don't ever do that again." Olivia said.

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't sleep, and I didn't want to wake you so I thought I'd try to run off some of the stress and anxiety, and by the time I realized what time it was I had already run 5 miles..." Gen said, looking at the floor.

"5 miles?!" Olivia roared. She noticed Gen flinch so she lowered her voice. "Are you trying to land yourself back in the hospital?" Olivia asked, chewing her bottom lip.

Gen shook her head, and sighed. Her shoulders slumped, she covered her face with her hands, and her whole body became wracked with sobs.

Olivia led Gen to the couch, and sat down with her.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you baby. I just... you don't seem to understand how much you mean to me and in your condition you can't just go run 5 miles, let alone by yourself. Look at you. You're exhausted, and soaked in sweat. I wouldn't be surprised if your vision was spotty or blurring right this minute" Olivia said.

"It's ok mom. I know I deserve it after scaring you like that. I know that I should have woken you." Gen said softly.

She stood up, got dizzy, and collapsed back into the cushions. Olivia helped her settle before getting up, and getting her a glass of water.

"Drink this" Olivia thrust the glass into her shaking hands.

Then she grabbed the throw off the back of the couch and placed it around Gen's shoulders.

Gen leaned into her mom.

"I don't feel too good mom" Gen said in a small voice.

Olivia held her tight.

"We'll just sit here for a few minutes while you drink your water. Have you eaten? Of course you haven't. I'll go make you some chocolate chip pancakes, and bacon. Sit tight" Olivia says, before rushing into the kitchen.

"I don't want it" Gen argued.

Olivia whirled back around. Her eyes flashing with anger.

"You don't have a choice!" Olivia said firmly.

"What are you gonna do?" Gen snapped. "You can't physically make me eat it!" Gen slammed the glass onto the coffee table, causing some of the water to spill over the sides.

"If I have to Genesis. I'm not asking you. I'm telling you" Olivia retorted.

Gen opened her mouth to say something, thought better of it, and snapped it shut.

"You will eat something or you can go back to the hospital." Olivia threatened, crossing her arms.

* * *

Gen bit her bottom lip. She sat quietly for a few moments, and the voices started in.

'She'll look for any excuse to get rid of you now that she has Alex. Can't you see?'

Gen sighed.

"Fine. Fine. FINE! I'll eat whatever you want! It's not like I'm getting any thinner!" Gen shouted.

She pushed herself off of the couch, and ran into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Olivia slowly counted to 10 before she went in after her. She knocked then opened the door.

"What's going on?" Olivia asked calmly.

Olivia sat beside her on the bed.

Gen sat on her bed with her legs crossed. She looked up at her mother, and huffed.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this" Gen began in a soft voice. "I feel like I should be medicated. I want to forget everything or erase time so it never happened. I keep thinking about..." Gen stopped mid sentence, and shook her head.

"What were you going to say?" Olivia pressed.

'I knew she wouldn't drop it. But talking feels better each time' Gen thought.

"I keep thinking about the... my baby..." Gen said, looking at the pattern on her bed.

Olivia swallowed. She knew it was hard for her daughter, and she didn't know how much comfort she could offer.

'Awkward' Olivia thought.

"Do you...wish you had kept it or...?" Olivia asked.

Gen shook her head. "No I just wonder what would have been. Like I would have gave it away if I had stayed pregnant. B-but instead I killed it" Gen choked out, as her voice became thick with emotion.

Olivia figured this day would come. As long as Gen seemed fine she didn't find it relevent to mention it, but now she knew now was the time.

"Honey you didn't kill that baby." Olivia began. "Before the Dr. performed the abortion she checked for a heartbeat, and there wasn't one. Sweetheart it was already dead" Olivia said, biting the inside of her cheek.

Gen looked up at her mother with wide eyes. And then frowned.

Olivia opened her arms, and smiled when Gen willingly fell into them.

She stroked her hair, and kissed the top of her head.

"What's wrong baby?" Olivia asked.

"It's my fault it died" Gen whispered. "Because I didn't take care of my body...isn't it?" Gen looked up at her mother.

Olivia could sense that Gen already felt bad, and she didn't want to make her feel worse. So she didn't say anything. She just held her tight.

* * *

Olivia was laying beside Gen when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw Alex's name on the display, and smiled.

"Hey Lex." Olivia said.

"Hey you." Alex said. "Were you sleeping?" She asked.

"I almost was." Olivia said dryly, yawning.

"Is everything alright?" Alex asked, her voice laced with concern.

"Rough morning." Olivia said.

"Is Gen ok?" Alex asked.

"She snuck away from me in the early morning, and went for a 5 mile run. Then we got into a fight over food. She kind of fell apart, and now she's blaming herself because of the abortion" Olivia said.

"5 miles? Liv is she ok? How is the abortion her fault?" Alex asked.

"She blames herself because the baby was already dead before she had the abortion."And no Lex I don't think she's ok. We talked a little bit. But she still hasn't told me all of it." Olivia answered.

"I think what you two need is a distraction. Why don't I come over, and we can have a girls night" Alex suggested.

"I don't know if she's up to it but we can give it a shot. It's going to take her awhile to trust you" Olivia said.

"I know. But I'm going to need her to trust me, especially when it's time to prepare for the trial" Alex said.

"Has a date been set yet?" Olivia asked.

"No. After the arraignment, and bail hearing there's nothing yet. His lawyer is doing everything he can to stall and buy time" Alex said.

"I hate when they do that shit" Olivia said, irritation in her tone.

"I know... Well I just called to check on my two favorite girls my lunch is over now. I'll see you later" Alex said.

"Later Lex" Olivia said.

The call disconnected, and Olivia rolled over, pulling Gen closer to her.

Gen sighed happily in her sleep.

Olivia kissed her forehead. "I loved you the first time I saw you and I wanted you from day one" Olivia whispered into her hair.

Olivia knew her daughter sometimes felt like she was still the child no one wanted, and she would keep assuring her again, and again that she does.

**Don't worry this isn't the end. Review me :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:This story seems to be recieving a lot of love, and for that I am truly grateful! I said I wanted to do a second book but I can't seem to find the right place to break the story.**

**So we're just going to transition into the second half of the story. I'll move the rating up to "M" and the second half of the story story will be titled as "TCNOW:The Breakthrough".**

**I want to thank everyone who has supported this story. I didn't expect it to turn into anything really. I just wanted vent really. I didn't realize it would touch so many people. But I'm glad if I can be there in support of someone else. **

**I'll try to update once a week. I love all of you so dearly :) **

**Stay tuned! We're heading into the trial soon!**

**I know this isn't a real update. Please don't report me my loves! **

**Stay tuned. I hope to have something up beginning the second half in a day or so **

**-ADH 3**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Get ready for some "BenBot" action at the end ;)! happy reading! **

* * *

TCNOW: The Breakthrough

**Chapter 20: Trials and Tribulations**

After 2 long weeks of arguing, slamming doors, and breaking dishes Olivia agreed to let Gen return back to school the following Monday. On the condition that she would come home for lunch. Against her better judgement of course. She was hoping Genesis would agree to home school. No such luck. Even though the girl wasn't hers biologically she was just as stubborn. She was becoming more like her everyday. Olivia loved it. Her life was bliss.

After seeing Gen off to school; she was heading back inside when her phone rang. She smiled when she saw Alex's face on her screen.

"Hey Lex" Olivia said.

"Hello beautiful! How are my girls doing this morning?" Alex asked.

Olivia could tell she was smiling.

"It's just me this morning Lex. Gen went off to school just now" Olivia said.

Olivia had gotten used to being with her daughter all day, and even though she had just left she was beginning to miss her. Her heart ached.

"What made her want to go back?" Alex inquired.

"I don't know. Maybe it was my push for home school. She was so adamant on returning this morning, Lex. We came to an agreement that if she no longer felt up to it or became overwhelmed that she would go on home studies" Olivia sighed.

"You miss her already." Alex said.

"You're very perceptive. Yes I miss her terribly!" Olivia said, perking up a bit.

"I have some news on her case, Liv. They're ready to begin trial in 3 weeks. I really must talk to her" Alex said urgently.

"3 weeks? 3 weeks is all the time we have to prep for this?" Olivia asked.

"That's all. Do you think she's ready?" Alex asked.

"We'll get her ready." Olivia said, determination in her voice.

"Can I see you 2 tonight?" Alex asked hopefully.

"Of course. She gets home at 3, so I guess we'll see you at 7?" Olivia said.

"Yes I'll come straight over from work" Alex said.

"We'll be glad to see you!" Olivia said joyfully.

"I'll be glad too. I have to go. Later, I love you" Alex said, disconnecting the call.

It took only a few moments for Alex to realize what she had just said, but she had no intentions of taking the words back. She truly did love Olivia, and her daughter. She wanted nothing more than for them to become a family, a goal she was working towards more and more everyday.

Olivia stared at the phone with a smile on her face. Since agreeing to give things another shot neither had uttered any "I love you's" - not that they needed to, but it made her heart swell to hear it.

"I love you too" Olivia said to the dial tone.

* * *

The rest of the day went by uneventfully until Gen returned home from school.

Gen opened the door, flung her backpack onto the floor, and slammed the door shut behind her.

Olivia was standing in the kitchen preparing an after school snack for her, and paused to find out what was behind all the commotion.

"Bad day?" Olivia asked standing in the entryway between the kitchen and door.

"The worst!" Gen said, throwing her hands into the air.

"Wanna talk about it?" Olivia asked, stepping closer to her daughter.

"Hold me?" Gen asked near tears.

Olivia said nothing as she wrapped her daughter into her arms. She wanted to bombard her with questions when she felt her trembling but she decided against it. She ushered Gen to the couch, and urged her to sit down, pulling her tight against her.

"What happened baby girl?" Olivia asked.

"P.E happened! We have to wear shorts Mom!" Gen said.

"I don't follow..." Olivia said.

"For one I look like a fucking hippo, for two the cuts on my thighs are on display in them! This girl Cassidy - she's a total bitch, anyway she saw my cuts, and she told everyone in class, and they all started calling me names" Gen said, hanging her head.

Olivia's jaw went tight, and her fist clenched. She had half a mind to go to the school tomorrow and unleash unholy hell on the brats tormenting her daughter. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind, and inhaled a deep breathe before asking what names Gen was called.

"Freak, crazy, and one of her little minions wrote _psycho bitch _on my locker!" Gen said as a stream of tears flowed down her cheeks.

"Awe sweetheart I'm sorry" Olivia said, as she rubbed circles on Gen's back.

"I don't want to go tomorrow" Gen murmured.

"We'll talk about that later. I have something to tell you. The trial date has been set 3 weeks from now, honey. You're going to have to start prepping your statement with Alex" Olivia said softly.

Gen went rigid in her mother's arms. The day she was dreading was nearer now then ever. She had a sliver of hope that her case had been forgotten, and she was happy to continue to push the nightmares behind her.

"I thought I said I didn't want to go to court or do any of that sort of shit" Gen said.

"Not your choice sweetheart. Once the police get involved it becomes an investigation. It's not my call either. I'm sorry" Olivia said shrugging her shoulders.

'Are you fucking kidding me?!' Gen thought.

"I won't do it" Gen said, shaking her head, and pulling away from Olivia. "I'll run away before the date gets here. I'll go somewhere they can't find me" Gen said promisingly.

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"You'll do no such thing" She said firmly.

Gen shot up from the couch, and glared down at her mother.

"Says who?" Gen asked with attitude.

Olivia stood up, and towered over her.

"Me" Olivia says firmly.

She held eyes with her daughter waiting for her to challenge her.

Gen narrowed her eyes, and flared her nostrils. She had never been so angry. She honestly didn't know why she was angry. Didn't she want justice for all the hell Derek Lambert had subjected her to?

Gen sighed, bent down to the floor to pick up her backpack, and silently strode towards her room.

"That's it? You're not going to argue this?" Olivia called after her.

'What the hell has gotten into my kid?' Olivia thought.

Gen stopped in her tracks.

"What's the point? If I don't they might try to take me away from you and I don't want that. When's Alex coming over again?" Gen asked.

"No one is going to take you away from me. They would have to kill me first and she'll be over tonight around 7" Olivia said, still clearly confused with the new turn this near argument had taken.

"Ok. I'll go start my homework then" Gen said quietly, continuing the path to her room.

* * *

After dinner Alex approached Gen and asked her if she wanted to talk.

Gen shrugged her shoulders, and silently followed her into Olivia's office.

Alex sat down on the desk chair, and Gen sat on the loveseat.

"Gen I need you to trust me. Do you think you can do that?" Alex asked.

"I'll try." Gen said.

Alex pulled out a legal pad, and a pen.

"Ok. So can you tell me about the first time you were attacked?" Alex asked.

"He didn't start off attacking me... at first he would come into my room, and stare at me, standin in the corner stroking himself, then he started sticking his hands in my panties. This lasted for the first two months I lived there. One night he stumbled into my room drunk, and lunged himself at me. I tried to buck him off, but he was so drunk his deadweight nearly crushed me. He lifted himself up long enough to slap me, and yanked down my bottoms, then he pinned me down, forced my legs apart, and pushed into me" Gen said as tears flowed freely down her face.

Alex diligently wrote everything down, and looked up at the girl. She felt the pull of her heart strings at the words, and the broken hearted look on Gen's face.

'I'll do everything in my power to see sure that this bastard rots' She thought as she squeezed her pen nearly snapping it.

"Did he abuse you the whole time you lived there?" Alex asked.

"Nearly everyday for the 3 years I lived there, yes." Gen said softly.

"I know this is hard for you and I will try to make it as painless as possible, but I need you to tell me about what happened in the alley." Alex said gently. "Do you think you can?" She asked.

Gen chewed the inside of her cheek and shook her head.

"I'm sorry I just don't think I'm ready to talk about that. I wanna be done talking now" Gen said, hesitantly looking to the door.

She was looking for Olivia to be standing there. She didn't know what in the world made her think she could talk about this without her.

"We only have 3 weeks to go over this sweetie. I will do everything I can to make sure he never gets out to hurt you or anyone else again but I need your help." Alex said softly.

Gen looked to the floor. "I..." She trailed off.

In the next moment Gen bolted from the room.

Alex followed after her, and found her in Olivia's embrace.

"It's ok. It's ok. Shh, shh" Olivia murmured as she stroked Gen's hair, and rocked her.

Olivia looked to Alex with a fierce look that said 'What the hell happened in there?'

"I'm sorry Liv. Maybe I pushed too hard. I guess it was too soon to bring up the alley" Alex said, as she crept closer.

She sat down on the couch beside Gen and Olivia.

"Gen I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about what happened in the alley tonight. We don't have to talk about everything tonight. We can go as slow as you want ok?"

Gen kept her face buried in the crook of her mother's neck, and nodded.

Gen knew that Alex would never hurt her. She was as sure of that as she was that her mother would never hurt her. She felt safe and loved when she was with them. She had barely began trusting her mother, but she wasn't sorry she finally had. They were closer than ever. And even though she still tried to keep things to herself Olivia wouldn't let her.

* * *

After Gen went to bed Alex and Olivia found themselves cuddled up on the couch. They were wrapped up in eachother as much as clothing would allow, just enjoying the comfortable silence.

Olivia then climbed on top of Alex and began peppering lazy kisses along Alex's jawline, nipping and sucking as she went.

"I love you too" Olivia breathed.

Alex froze and pulled back to look at her.

"You caught that did you?" Alex teased.

"Yes I did. Next time don't hang up until I have a chance to say it back" Olivia said narrowing her eyes.

"Ok ok I won't" Alex said.

Olivia continued her assault on Alex's jawline.

"I (kiss) want (kiss) you (kiss)."

Alex stifled a moan.

She felt the desire pooling between her legs. Olivia Benson would be the death of her, and she would die happily.

"I need you" Olivia said, nippling Alex's ear.

'Yes please!' Alex thought.

Olivia raised up, and began unbuttoning Alex's shirt, letting it fall open before bending down to place light kisses to the buds beneath the black lace of her bra.

Alex's eyes rolled into the back of her head.

Alex tugged at the hem of Olivia's top.

"Take this off" Alex whispered.

Olivia bit her bottom lip and nodded before removing her top with Alex's help.

Alex reached up and massaged the firm mounds softly, before snaking her arms around, and releasing the clasp, throwing the garment to the floor.

Olivia threw her head back and leaned into the touch, rocking her hips.

"Lex" Olivia breathed. "Please" She nearly begged.

"You are worth the wait my love" Alex said before leaning up, and tracing a nipple with her tongue while her soft fingers worked the other to delightful hardness.

"Mmm, Lex, baby please" Olivia moaned.

Alex ran her fingers through Olivia's chestnut curls before cupping the back of her neck, and pulling her in for a searing kiss.

Olivia deepened the kiss while her fingers worked on the undoing of Alex's slacks.

Buttons released.

Zipper down.

Time stood still as blue eyes focused on dark brown. Irratic breathes of want, and need were the only noises heard.

"Please Lex...please" Olivia begged.

She hated to sound so desperate but she was more than ready to be with Alex in this most intimate way.

"As you wish" Alex said.

Alex worked the button, and zipper of Olivia's pants undone to be met with red lace. She felt herself practically dripping. As this woman before her, _her _woman was all satin, lace, want, wet, and hot for _her_. She would never make the mistake of leaving her again. She coaxed Olivia to raise up to push her pants down her shapely thighs.

Olivia tugged on Alex's pants, encouraging her to raise her hips so she could pull them and her matching lace panties off. She bent down, and sucked Alex's pulse point, nipping slightly.

Alex swept a hand between Olivia's legs, admiring the wetness that gathered from the red lace. She teased Olivia's clit before pushing the panties aside, and inserting 2 fingers knuckle deep.

"Mmmm" Olivia ground out.

Alex began to pump her fingers deep, and slow into Olivia. Loving the pull of her inner walls.

Olivia's mouth fell open, silent moans escaping. She braced one hand on Alex's shoulder and began to slowly ride her fingers, finding she needed more. With her free hand she found Alex's heat and circled her clit before inserting 2 fingers of her own.

Alex's head fell back against the couch as Olivia entered her. She continued her thrusts, adding a third finger.

"Mmm, ahhh, yes" Olivia panted.

"Liv" Alex moaned.

"Don't stop" Olivia breathed.

"Never" Alex gasped.

Alex leaned forward, and took a nipple into her mouth, sucking hard.

Olivia bit her lip to keep from crying out.

They began to buck against eachother, each wanting to bring the other over the edge.

"Mmm Lex" Olivia choked out. "I'm gonna come, baby please come with me"

Olivia began to flick Alex's clit rapidly to catch her up.

"Right behind you" Alex moaned.

Alex gave Olivia's nipple a quick tug before they both tipped over the edge, toppling onto the floor in a heap of tangled limbs. Completely sated.

Alex wrapped an arm around Olivia, placing tender kisses to her temple.

"I'm never letting you go again" She whispered in her ear.

**Well I don't know about ya'll but I got a bit worked up writing the last bit! Review me :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: This chapter is a bit short but it's pretty fluffy. Family fluff :). Happy reading!**

* * *

TCNOW: The Breakthrough

**Chapter 21: Family**

It was 3 AM the next morning when Olivia was trying to nudge Alex awake. After giving a few grunts Alex stretched and gave her a look of confusion as if to say 'why did you wake me?'.

"If you don't leave now you won't have time to shower, and dress for work, and I'd rather Gen didn't find us in bed together" Olivia said softly.

"She know's we're together" Alex said groggily.

"Yes, but I don't know what her reaction would be if she found us in bed together ... naked" Olivia said, kissing Alex softly.

Alex returned the kiss, cupping Olivia's cheek.

"I don't want to sneak around like forbidden teen lovers, Liv" Alex whispered sadly.

"Awe" Olivia groaned. "C'mon Alex you know I didn't mean it like that!" She said sitting up in bed, and tugging the sheets up over her breasts.

Earning a look from Alex, she sighed and said "Atleast put a shirt on."

Alex freed herself from the warmth of the covers, made her way towards Olivia's t-shirt drawer, and slipped one on. She flashed a kill-o-watt smile before jumping back into the bed. She kissed Olivia soundly on the mouth before holding tight to Olivia.

"Sleep baby"

Before either woman knew they were once again asleep in the most peaceful sleep either had,had in awhile.

Neither women heard the soft tapping on the door, or the door opening slowly.

"Mo-?" Gen started but was cut off at the sight of Alex spooning her mother.

'Okaaay...I need to pretend I didn't see that' Gen thought before making a hasty attempt to exit from the room.

It was short lived when her mother called after her.

"Gen?What's wrong honey? Why are you up?" Olivia asked, raising slightly from the bed keeping the sheets pulled over her.

"I...Uh..."Gen looked at the floor."You know what? Nevermind. I'm not going to school today" She said before running from the room.

'Did my mom and Alex...have **_sex _**last night? Eww eww eww!' Gen was freaking out internally in the comfort of her room.

After watching her daughter run from the room proclaiming she wasn't going to school, Olivia turned her attention to Alex's still sleeping form. She brushed her hand against Alex's cheek.

"Wake up Lex" Olivia whispers in her ear.

"No" Alex says rolling over, and pulling the covers over her head.

"You have to get ready for work..." Olivia said, kicking the covers down.

"Work sounds like such a bad word right now" Alex grumbled, before trudging out of bed, and picking up her scattered items of clothing. She headed to the bathroom to shower, and dress.

"Is the coffee on?" She asked through the bathroom door.

"Yes" Olivia says.

When she came out Olivia handed her a cup of coffee.

"Thank you baby" Alex said.

"You don't have time to go home and change" Olivia said taking a sip from her coffee.

"I have a spare suit at my office." Alex said.

Alex moves into Olivia's personal space, closing the gap, and pulling Olivia flush against her.

"What's wrong baby?" She asks.

"I don't want you to go..." Olivia says softly looking deep into pools of blue. "Last night was perfect."

"Liv, haven't you learned by now that what belongs to you will always come back?" Alex asked, leaning in and brushing her lips against Olivia's.

Olivia melted into the kiss, deepening it. She tangled her fingers into Alex's platinum locks, she couldn't get enough.

Alex pulled away, sighing contently.

"If we don't stop now, I'll never get to work" She said with her hands still on Olivia's waist.

"Then go so you can come back" Olivia said half heartedly.

* * *

After seeing Alex off to work she went to check on her daughter. She knocked softly on the door before entering. Gen was sleeping in a ball in the middle of her bed. Olivia sat on the edge of the bed, and shook Gen's shoulder.

"Hmm?" Gen replied as she stretched, and rolled over to face who had woken her.

"Hey sweetie" Olivia said softly.

"Hey" Gen's voice came out rougly, cracked with sleep.

"Are you ok?" Olivia asked, running a hand over Gen's forehead. "You look a little pale"

"M'fine" Gen mumbled. "Just tired."

"Well it's time to check your weight so get up" Olivia said grabbing Gen by her ankles, and dragging her off the bed until half her body was on the floor.

Gen giggled.

"How long do we have to do this?" Gen whined.

"Until you're healthy again." Olivia said.

Gen groaned and stomped to the bathroom and stripped her clothes, standing on the scale.

Olivia entered the bathroom and grabbed the notebook off the shelf before recording Gen's current weight.

'97' the scale read.

Olivia ground her teeth together before scribbling the weight into the book and putting it away.

"Why are you losing weight?" Olivia asked. "You're not fat Genesis! You don't weigh **ANYTHING**!" Olivia said, raising her voice.

"It's just the stress of the trial starting next week that's all." Gen said through quivering lips.

She was near tears. Starving herself was like second nature so it was an unconcious habit.

"I didn't mean too. If you didn't remind me to eat I most likely won't. It's out of habit. I'm sorry." Gen cried.

Olivia hugged Gen fiercely.

"Why didn't you tell us the truth?" She asked. "You told us you were ready. You said you could handle it" Olivia said rubbing circles on Gen's back as her tiny frame shook with sobs.

"I d-didn't want to w-worry y-you! I'm s-so sorry mom!" Gen choked out through her sobs.

* * *

Later that night Alex returned with dinner from Gen's favorite chinese place. Olivia met her at the door with a smile and a kiss.

"Hello to you too baby" Alex said against Olivia's lips.

Gen gave a shy smile, and a small wave in before continuing her task of setting the table.

Alex moved into the kitchen.

"Hi Gen. How are you doing today?" Alex asked as she sat the brown bags on the countertop.

"I'm ok...How was work?" Gen asked.

"Today flew by pretty quickly. Did you go to school today?" Alex said while removing the cartons from the bag.

Gen shook her head, and continued setting the table.

Olivia watched the small exchange between her two loves and smiled. Gen seemed to accept having Alex around as she had promised and that's more than Olivia could've asked for. She wanted the three of them to be a family one day and she knew until Gen completely trusted Alex it would be a strain amongst their household. That was the last thing she wanted.

The trio enjoyed a nice dinner, laughing, and talking about plans for the weekend. Everyone avoiding the sensitive subject of the impending trial starting bright and early the following Wednesday. They would revel in the peace for now.

Gen looked back and forth between her mom and Alex, she saw the love between them and she felt the love they had for her. She felt, for the first time she had a family, but she couldn't help the sinking feeling in her gut that, that just meant she had more to lose. For now things were happy, and she decided she was going to try to enjoy her life.

* * *

**Does anyone want me to write out the trial process? Or should I skip ahead to what Gen starts doing to cope with all the painful memories it brought with it? Let me know what you'll like best. Review me :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: This one took me forever to write. I hope yall love it. Happy reading :). There's mention of drug use in this chapter.**

* * *

TCNOW:The Breakthrough

**Chapter 22: Fear, Worry & Stupidity**

Olivia was awakened to Alex tracing non-descript patterns on her stomach with her soft fingertips. She nearly moaned at the sensation.

"Why are you up?" Olivia asked, voice still full of sleep.

"I just can't believe I'm here with you that's all. I didn't mean to wake you" Alex said, leaning over and kissing Olivia's midsection.

Olivia subconciously ran her fingers through her platinum tresses. She looked at the alarm clock on her bedside table and read the time.

'2:40 AM'

"What's wrong my love?" Olivia asked softly.

Alex looked up at Olivia with tears in her eyes. She couldn't speak. It was as if all the words she wanted to say got caught in a big lump at the back of her throat.

"Alex?" Olivia asked again, worry filling her voice.

Alex swallowed the lump and shook her head.

"The trial starts tomorrow..." Alex started. "Starting tomorrow I ask our girl to relive her 3 year long hell she endured at the hands of that sick bastard..." She said venomously.

"And even though she keeps insisting she's fine she really isn't and you know as well as I do that she's doing this because we talked her into it." Olivia said, finishing her thought.

Alex nodded.

"Lex, she's going to be ok. She has us." Olivia says.

"She's been doing ok for now, but what about afterwards Liv?" Alex asked. "She's already dropping weight again!"

"I know, I **know**" Olivia said.

"And there are things I'm sure she hasn't told you." Alex said. "Are you ready to hear about that?"

Olivia chewed her bottom lip and looked away. She knew there were things that Gen still held back from telling her, but she remained patient hoping one day she would trust her enough to do so. Now it was no longer a choice. She would have to hear it, in a courtroom full of people. She would have to watch as her daughter was ripped to shreds on the stand. There was no preparation for that.

"I'm going to have to be" Olivia said quietly.

"C'mere" Alex growled playfully.

Alex snaked an arm underneath Olivia and rolled over onto her back, pulling the brunette on top of her. The way Olivia's breathe caught in that simple movement aroused her all the more.

Olivia supported her weight with one arm on the side of Alex's head and brushed the hair away that fell in her face and tucked some of her waves behind her ears. She let her legs fall between Alex's open ones and leaned down to kiss her. The second their lips locked her eyes fluttered closed. She felt Alex run her tongue over her bottom one in request for entry that she willingly gave.

Alex tangled her fingers into Olivia's soft brunette waves, deepening the kiss. She wrapped her legs around Olivia's waist and flipped them over. She reluctantly left Olivia's mouth and began making her journey southwards with her mouth. She paused to pay special attention to Olivia's breasts, taking a nipple into her hot mouth while she massaged the other with her thumb, working it into tender delight. The soft moans coming from the woman below her, egged her on. She slowly made her way down to Olivia's desire nipping her stomach as she went and dipping her tongue into Olivia's bellybutton. She slid down Olivia's body, running her hands up and down her silken thighs before spreading them gently, nestling between them, and raising them up to rest on her shoulders. She pressed a soft, reverent kiss to Olivia's outer folds before licking up from her entrance to her bundle of nerves.

Olivia's hips raised with the action as she moaned and cupped the back of Alex's head. The sensations Alex caused to run through her body were indescribable. She wanted more. She craved Alex's touch.

Alex began her attack, becoming animalistic between Olivia's legs. Without warning she took Olivia's clit into her mouth, sucking hard and entered her with 2 fingers, thrusting into her all the way to the knuckle, moving in hard fast strokes. She wrapped her free arm around Olivia's torso to keep her in place, picking up her pace and becoming relentless.

When Olivia felt Alex nip her bundle of nerves she came into Alex's waiting mouth as wave after wave of her orgasm crashed over her. She grabbed onto a pillow, biting and screaming into it.

Alex lapped up all of Olivia's juices. They were like sweet nectar to her, she couldn't get enough. She stayed below and cleaned her of every drop before moving back up Olivia's body and reuniting their lips.

"Mmmm, thank you babe" Olivia hummed, when they broke apart for air.

"You're welcome baby" Alex said, leaning down and sucking her neck.

Olivia rolled them over and straddled Alex.

"Your turn" Olivia said with a seductive tone. "You see Ms. Cabot I believe this was your plan all along and I intend to make you pay..." Olivia said before making her decent down Alex's slender frame.

* * *

Alex was making her way into her office with a permanent smile when her phone beeped. She smiled even brighter when she saw it was a text message from Olivia.

_You sure know how to say good morning lol! You can wake me up like that anytime. I miss you already. Have a good day at work.I love you - Liv_

She typed a quick response, put her phone away and entered her office.

_Ill keep that in mind. I miss you too. My days are longer when I'm not with you.I love you more. - Lex_

Olivia smiled, placed her phone back on the bedside table and rolled out of bed. She headed to Gen's room and tapped on the door before going in. When she went in she was shocked to see the bed made, and Gen nowhere in sight. She was close to freaking out when she saw a note on Gen's desk.

_Mom, you probably discovered I'm not home by now. Don't worry I'll be home at 3. I went to school today. I love you - Gen_

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief and left the room.

* * *

Gen was sitting in French class, not paying attention because her anxiety was at an all time high about the next day. She didn't snap out of it until her friend Haylee pushed her desk beside hers.

"Hey Gen! Madame told us to pair up and do pages 36-38" Haylee said.

"Oh ok" Gen said nonplussed. "Why are you always so hyper?"

Haylee looked around before digging into her pocket and dropping 2 pills onto Gen's book.

"It's speed." Haylee whispers. "Put them away"

Gen plays it off like she's used before and scoops the pills up, popping them into the zipper section of her purse. She looks back up at Haylee and smiles.

'She doesn't need to know I've never used before' Gen thought.

They worked quietly for a few moments before Haylee spoke again.

"Can I ask a question?"

Gen smirks and raises an eyebrow.

"Of course."

"Are you mixed?" Haylee asks quietly. "Because I've seen your mom, who's smokin hot by the way! She's got an olive complexion and you're like caramel or toffee colored, but both of you have full pouty lips and dark brown eyes." Haylee says. "Is your dad black?"

Gen had never told anyone. No one had asked before.

"I don't know what I am. I mean I don't know who my dad is. I'm adopted. I mean my mom adopted me..." She whispered.

"Well you guys favor each other! She would never have to tell anyone you were adopted!" Haylee says.

"Thanks. And don't ever refer to my mom as smokin hot again please!" Gen says.

"She is!" Haylee insists.

"Are you ... I mean ... do you ... do you like girls?" Gen stuttered.

"Girl I thought you knew! Yes I like girls and guys." Haylee says with a wide smile.

"Oh. Ok" Gen shrugs.

"What about you?" Haylee asks.

"I don't know ... I've never focused on relationships before." Gen said.

"Well I know people of both genders find you attractive you're a very pretty girl Genesis" Haylee said, winking.

'Oh please! Who would want me? I'm fat and disgusting and ugly!' Gen thought.

After her interesting conversation in French class nothing interesting happened the rest of the day. Until lunch came around. She was sitting with her friends Abby and Mercy when she remembered she had those pills in her purse. Something inside her told her to take them. So she just popped them into her mouth and swallowed them down with her water.

15 minutes later ...

Gen felt like a livewire. She couldn't sit still. Literally she couldn't stop moving. She kept looking at the clock and waiting for the final bell to ring.

'I just need to go home. That's all.' Gen thought.

Gen didn't know it yet but she was high. As nervous as she felt she liked the feeling. She felt relaxed and hyper at the same time. She liked that. The second the bell rang she jumped from her seat and headed home.

* * *

Olivia was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine when Gen burst through the door, slinging her backpack on the floor and dashing into the kitchen. She jumped up and stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching while her daughter raided the cabinets and fridge.

"Looking for something?" Olivia asked.

'What's gotten into her?' She thought.

"Hiii mooom!" Gen said cheerfully.

'Genesis get a grip or else she's going to know something is wrong with you!' Gen scolded herself.

"...Hi" Olivia said, raising an eyebrow.

'Something is definitely up' She thought.

Gen grabbed ice cream, a chocolate pudding and a big spoon and perched herself on the countertop and dug into the ice cream. She kicked her feet happily as she stared at her mom watching her.

Olivia watched in silence for a few moments before deciding enough was enough. It was time to find out what was going on.

"What's wrong with you?" Olivia asked, moving closer to her daughter.

Gen had been in the middle of licking the spoon clean - stopped and hopped down from the countertop and began pacing back and forth before grabbing a glass and filling it with water. After chugging the water and setting the glass back down, she stood facing her mom, tilting her head and shifting her weight foot to foot.

"Nothing's wrong with me." She finally answered. "What's wrong with you?"

Gen felt her heart pounding inside her chest and she was almost certain her mother could hear it. She began pacing the kitchen yet again until Olivia got fed up and stopped her by placing her hands on her shoulders. Gen looked down at the floor, bouncing as her mother held her in place.

"Look at me" Olivia said.

Olivia grabbed Gen's face, cupping it gently. Then she knew. Her daughter was as high as a kite. Her eyes were glazed over and her pupils were dialated.

"You're high?!" Olivia snapped, dropping her hands.

"I guess so" Gen said, shrugging.

"What the hell possessed you to do drugs Genesis?!" Olivia roared.

Gen snickered.

"You see ... umm ... damn ... I feel so weird..." Gen said dragging her hands down her cheeks, giggling.

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"I'm waiting for an answer young lady" Olivia said, placing her hands on her hips.

Gen looked at Olivia through heavy lidden eyes and scratched her arm, laughing again.

"I don't know... But I'd like to find out. I saw a purple gorilla on the way home" Gen said, running a finger up and down the length of her arm.

"Go to your room. We'll talk about this when you dry out" Olivia said irritably.

"Ooookayyy!" Gen said.

She just stood in the middle of the kitchen staring at a square of linoleum on the floor.

"Go to your room Genesis" Olivia snarled. "NOW" Olivia hissed.

Genesis did something like a pirouette, giggled and left the kitchen.

Olivia was seething. Her daughter took drugs and came home high.

'Where the hell did she get the drugs from? What is she on?' Olivia thought.

She busied herself by cleaning the kitchen. She thought back to how barely coherent Gen was. She would check on her in a few minutes, but she needed to calm down first.

When she went to go check on her daughter she found her emptying all her drawers of their contents.

"What are you doing?" Olivia asked.

"I saw something go in there!" Gen said, while throwing another pile of clothes onto the floor.

Olivia picked her up and placed her on the bed, only for Gen to pop back up in seconds and begin pacing the floor. Olivia sighed.

Gen stopped pacing and picked up a pile of shirts, putting them back in the drawer. Within minutes her room was back in order.

"Are you in there at all honey? Gen where are you?" Olivia asked.

Gen stood within touching distance of Olivia and tilted her head to the side, before rushing forwards and lowering herself into Olivia's lap. She touched Olivia's face and smiled up at her.

"You look like an angel!" Gen said, playing with a strand of Olivia's hair.

Olivia cradled her daughter to her and remained silent.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Gen asked.

Olivia nodded.

"I'm scared! Tomorrow I have to face my demons ... he's a monster you see. He crawled inside of me and once he left some of his spawn there...It's not there anymore though! A magician took it out" Gen said, curling into Olivia.

Olivia held Gen closely as tears began pouring from her eyes. She had worried for her daughter over the past 3 weeks. She saw through her insistance that she was fine. And finally she saw where her daughters recent behavior was stemming from. She was scared. She supposed fear could motivate stupidity.

Gen slipped from Olivia's grasp and walked over to the closet, opened the door and sat on the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Olivia walked over the the closet and sat on the floor.

"What are you doing in there honey?" Olivia asked softly.

"Hiding..." Gen said.

"Hiding from what?" Olivia asked.

"I ... I don't know ... my mom told me to hide in here with my sisters until the man leaves" Gen whispered.

"Gen where are you?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know my house?" Gen asked back, confused.

"Who am I?" Olivia asked.

"...A nice lady person" Gen said.

Olivia silently reached out for her.

Gen hesitantly took her hand and crawled into her lap.

Olivia hugged her against her.

"Snap out of it baby girl" Olivia whispered into her hair.

Olivia rocked her for a few moments before Gen began squirming in her hold.

"Mom?" Gen whimpered.

"That's right" Olivia said nodding.

"Lemme go" Gen said, pushing against Olivia.

"No honey, shh, it's ok." Olivia said.

'Now she chooses to become lucid' Olivia thought.

"What are we doing here?" Gen asked. "I don't feel good. My hearts beating really fast! Am I dying?"

"You're just coming off your high sweetie" Olivia said.

"High?! Why are you being so nice to me? You should be yelling at me!" Gen said, beginning to panic.

She thought all those weird dreams were well just that, dreams.

Gen felt so bad she broke down in Olivia's arms.

"I'm so so sorry mommy! I took speed!" She cried.

Olivia rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"Stop doing that!" Gen snapped, pushing away from Olivia.

The action pierced Olivia's heart more than the words did.

After getting Gen to lay down Olivia left her and collapsed on the couch.

* * *

Alex let herself into the apartment with the key Olivia gave her. She entered the dark living room and set her bag down on the couch. She was startled when Olivia flicked on the light.

"Liv! Baby, you scared me." Alex said. as she bent down to kiss her girlfriend.

"What's wrong?"

"Gen came home high from school today" Olivia said, crossing her arms.

"Is she ok?" Alex asked, concern laced in her voice.

"She just crashed. It was rough, Lex. She was ... she was a different person" Olivia said.

"Are you ok?" Alex asked.

"I'm fine. I'm just worried for her and how she'll cope when all of this shit is over" Olivia said, biting her lip.

Alex pulled Olivia into her arms and kissed her forehead. Then she stood, pulling Olivia up with her and headed towards the bedroom. After closing the door behind them she pushed Olivia onto the bed and stripped her of all her clothing and pulled the covers over her. Once Olivia was settled she stripped off and climbed in beside her.

"Sleep baby. Tomorrow is going to be a long day" Alex said, spooning Olivia.

"You always know what I need" Olivia murmured before drifting off.

They slept through the night peacefully, with the exception of Olivia getting up to check on Gen throughout the night.

* * *

The next morning the trio got ready and headed to the courthouse in silence. Gen avoided making eye contact with her mother because she was feeling guilty about her actions the day before and Alex tried to be strong for them both.

After what seemed like countless hours on the stand, giving numerous recounts of the torture Derek Lambert subjected her to, court was over for the day. Gen ran straight to bathroom. Olivia was waiting in the lobby with Alex, when Gen came out of the bathroom Olivia opened her arms expecting her to fall into them but Gen ran to Alex who opened her arms and Gen went into them, holding onto her for dear life. Alex looked over at Olivia seeing the sadness in her eyes.

"I can't take anymore Alex" Gen sobbed.

"We're almost done sweetie" Alex said.

Olivia pushed down the slight feeling of rejection she felt and placed her hands on Gen's shoulders, pulling her into her arms.

"Some of that stuff I never knew, baby and I wish you had told me. I am so sorry that happened to you. It will never happen to you again" Olivia said.

"I didn't want to tell anyone, any of that mom" Gen said, as she buried her face in her mother's front.

"It's ok. None of what I heard today has changed the fact that I love you baby girl. I'm not going anywhere" Olivia said, squeezing her tighter.

"Mom?" Gen questioned, looking up at her. "I'm really sorry. About everything I've put you through." Gen said, as fresh tears tracked down her face.

"We will talk about everything later, but for now why don't we go home, rest and get something to eat?" Olivia said.

Gen nodded and held out her free hand to Alex, who smiled, then the 3 of them headed home.

**I decided to touch on the trial. The verdict will be in the next chapter. Gen's life is about to get interesting. Review me :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: This is kind of just a filler chapter while I decide on what direction I'm taking the characters next. Happy reading :)**

* * *

TCNOW: The Breakthrough

**Chapter 23: Kissed**

After a month long trial and Gen testifying over and over, Derek Lambert received a guilty sentence of 20 years to life, no possibility of parole. They were thrilled with the news. It was finally over. Gen could start moving on with Alex and Olivia there to help pick up her broken pieces.

"He's guilty baby! We won!" Olivia said elated.

"Yeah we sure did" Gen matter of factly.

"Hey, are you ok?" Alex asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. I guess I'm just tired." Gen said, faking a yawn and stretching.

"Are you going back to school tomorrow?" Olivia asked.

The truth was, since the trial began everyone at her school knew who she was now. Olivia didn't want her walking around the campus known as "the girl who got raped". She was hoping this would force Gen into home-schooling. She wanted her there, where she could keep her safe.

Gen shook her head. "Mom ... don't. Ok? Just don't" she said, backing away from Olivia and Alex.

"Gen, honey, be reasonable. Everyone knows who you are now. You have to think about what that's going to be like. You haven't been to school in a month. Right now you're ahead of your class. We could go somewhere for awhile. A vacation. Away from the city..." Olivia pleaded.

"I can even take some time off. We can go anywhere you like." Alex chimed in.

"What about my friends?" Gen asked. "You have to go back to work soon. And then I'll just be home alone all day" She said desolately.

"I have 1 more month off sweetie. I want nothing more than to spend it with you. Quite truthfully, I'm not ready to go back yet." Olivia said.

"I think you should go back. You love your job. I googled you. You've done a lot of good for a lot of women and children. They need you." Gen argued.

"How much good am I doing if I can't help my own daughter?" Olivia asked, her tone laced with frustration.

Gen bit her bottom lip. Shaking her head side to side before hanging it.

"Don't you get it!? I. AM. BROKEN! I cannot be fixed!GIVE UP!" She yelled, before running off and slamming her bedroom door.

Olivia turned to Alex and shrugged in defeat. "What do we do now?" She asked as she tears began to form in her eyes.

Alex wrapped her arms around her and held her tight.

"We fight harder, simply because she doesn't want us to. Because she wants us to give up is one reason why we won't" Alex said softly.

"I wish her real mother was alive I'd love to kick her ass. All of this started with her!" Olivia said.

"But she isn't here Liv. We are and we're going to help her. We just have to reassure her that we love her no matter how long it takes her to see it for herself" Alex said, kissing Olivia chastely.

* * *

The next day Gen got up and went to school, despite Olivia's constant protests.

"I promise if it becomes too much. I'll come straight home" Gen called over her shoulder, before closing the door behind her.

The minute she stepped onto the campus she felt like all eyes were on her and it was not something she wanted to get use to. She clutched her books tighter to her chest, looked down and headed towards her first period class.

"OMG! I thought you were never coming back!" Haylee squealed, squeezing her in a tight hug.

Gen smiled half heartedly.

"So it's true then? That sick fuck raped you for three years?" Haylee asked.

Gen nodded. She didn't want to talk about this. She wanted some bit of normalcy in her life. No matter how small.

"I'm sorry ... sometimes my mouth speaks before I really have a chance to think about what I'm saying." Haylee said.

"It's ok. I'm thinking about home school. My mom didn't want me to come today and now I understand why. Everyone is staring at me." Gen said quietly.

"They all feel sorry for you. And if you go on home school I'll never see you!" Haylee said, throwing an arm around Gen's shoulder and leading her into the classroom.

The madame acknowledged Gen with a nod and comforting smile and continued writing the days classwork on the whiteboard. The room fell silent and Gen felt herself being pelted with stares and questions that no one would dare voice.

Gen leaned over to Haylee. "I'm gonna go home. Would you bring my work by later?" She whispered.

"Sure." Haylee said, reaching out and giving Gen's hand a squeeze.

"Thanks" Gen said, before walking up to the teacher.

"Madame ... Je vais a la maison"

"Oui aller" The teacher replied, with a nod of understanding and a slight wave of her hand.

Gen strutted to the door, pulled out her phone and called her mother.

"Hello? Gen? What's wrong?" Olivia asked, already beggining to worry.

"Nothing. I'm coming home." Gen said, before hanging up.

* * *

Olivia looked at the clock.

'8:30 AM'

Gen had lasted half an hour before turning back. All kinds of thoughts raced to the front of Olivia's mind.

'What if they were being cruel to her?'

'What if they had started making fun of her again or began harrassing her?'

'I will kick all their juvenile delinquent asses!' She told herself.

She began pacing the living room while waiting for Gen to return home. 20 minutes later Gen walked in.

"What happened sweetheart? Are you ok?" Olivia asked as Gen marched right up to her and threw herself into her arms.

"I think I'm ready to do home school. They were all just staring at me. It was ... I couldn't take it." Gen said, shaking her head.

"I'll call the school in the morning" Olivia said holding her daughter.

"I have a friend brigning my work after school today, would you mind if she stayed and hung out?" Gen asked cautiously.

"Of course she can!" Olivia said.

"I'm going to lay down." Gen said, reluctantly pulling from her mother's embrace.

"Are you hungry?" Olivia asked.

"No" Gen said, rubbing at her face.

"Well you need to eat something. I'll make you something when you wake up." Olivia said.

"Ok" Gen said, resigned.

Gen walked into her room and collapsed on her bed. She felt exhausted of everything. The minute her head hit the pillow she was out cold.

* * *

Gen awoke to Olivia gently shaking her shoulder.

"Hey sweetie" Olivia said, kissing her.

Gen scrunched up her face in mock irritation.

"Hey mom. What's up?" Gen said, sitting up.

"Your friend is here." Olivia said.

"Oh! How long was I asleep?" Gen asked.

"You slept straight through to 3" Olivia said.

"I just feel so exhausted." Gen said, pulling her hair into a ponytail.

"You know I'm here for you. I'll let your friend in and I'll make you guys a snack." Olivia said, getting up from the bed and leaving the room.

A minute later Haylee appeared in the doorway.

"Hey!" She squealed.

Gen shook her head and smiled.

"You always act like you're happy to see me." She said.

"That's because I am." Haylee said.

"Oh? Why is that?" Gen asked.

Haylee moved into the room and sat on the bed beside Gen, sitting her bag on the floor. She looked Gen in the eye and bit her bottom lip.

"...Because I like you" Haylee said.

Gen was certain if she had been drinking something she would have spewed it all over the floor. Her eyes grew wide and she looked down at the floor.

"Oh..." She said.

She wanted to slap herself for the response she gave, but she had never been in a situation like that before.

'Awkward' She thought.

"Hey, It's ok. I like to think of myself as a very patient chick. And I'll wait Gen. I'll never do anything you don't want me to do." Haylee said softly.

Suddenly Gen's heart was pounding in her chest and she wasn't sure what she was feeling. Is this how you felt when you liked someone? She had spent so long making herself undesirable, she really didn't know. She made a mental note for later to talk to her mother.

"Uh ... thank you?" Gen said, confused.

Haylee giggled and shook her head.

"You are so cute! Anyway I brought your work" She said, bending down and pulled out a few sheets and handed them to Gen.

"Thanks" Gen beamed.

They remained silent for a few moments, working on their assignments, side by side. Olivia brought them a snack and let them know if she was needed she would be in the next room.

Haylee offered her hand and introduced herself and apologized for not doing so sooner.

Olivia chuckled and said it wasn't a big deal. She found Haylee absolutely charming and was glad her daughter had someone around being nice to her.

Gen looked up from her work and locked eyes with Haylee, for what seemed the 100th time that evening, before looking away.

"What?" Haylee whispered.

"I'm going on home school" Gen blurted out.

"Then I guess I'll just have to come visit you and hang out on the weekends" Haylee said.

Gen's eyes nearly popped out of her head.

"You really do like me..." She said, looking down again.

"Yes. I do. And I'll spend everyday proving it to you if I have to" Haylee said, before leaning over and kissing her on the lips.

At that moment images of her many assaults flooded into her mind. She wished they hadn't. She felt herself being pulled into a flashback, she jumped up and darted from the room, running into the bathroom and closing the door behind her, sliding to the floor.

Haylee followed after her only to have the door shut in her face. She tapped on the door.

"Gen? Gen I'm sorry...I'll call you later ok?" Haylee said, sighing.

Olivia heard all the commotion and asked Haylee what was going on.

"I did something I shouldn't have. I'm sorry Ms. Benson. Please tell Gen that" Haylee said, hanging her head before leaving.

Olivia's eyebrows crinkled in confusion. She stood outside the bathroom door and knocked once before letting herself in.

"Gen, baby, what happened?" Olivia asked.

Gen was sitting near the tub with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them, tears pouring freely from her eyes.

"Sh-she kissed me...and all I saw was him!I'll never be normal!" Gen cried as fresh tears rolled down her face.

Olivia sat beside her and pulled her into her lap. She remained silent because she didn't know what to address first. Her daughter was kissed and she didn't know if she wanted to be or not. Her daughter was kissed by a girl. They had never discussed her sexual interests before. Olivia was at a loss for words. So she just comforted her daughter and waited for her to calm down.

* * *

**I think Haylee and Gen will be totally cute! Maybe Gen will go for it ;). Review me! **


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Gonna quiet down the angst for awhile and try to fluff things out. Happy reading :)**

* * *

TCNOW: The Breakthrough

**Chapter 24: A Real Family**

After moving from the bathroom floor to the couch in the living room, Gen finally spoke.

"Haylee said she likes me mom."

Olivia nodded and kissed her. "How could she not? You're **very** likable babygirl. You're **lovable**. You're **wanted**." She said affectionately.

"I wish I could see what you, Alex and Haylee see in me. I don't like myself at all..." Gen said softly.

"I don't know how I feel about her. She's my friend. And if we took what we have a step further...what if I ruin it? She's going to get tired of me always pulling away from her and then I won't even have her as a friend anymore." She added, irritably rubbing at her puffy eyes.

"Why don't you like yourself? So, you do like Haylee?" Olivia asked, hoping the walls she had worked hard to breakdown the past 3 months wouldn't slam back up.

Gen eyed her mother and chewed the inside of her cheek. She took a deep breathe and looked away.

"I think so... I've never had a crush on anyone before so I can't really be sure. I really like being around her and when she kissed me it was nice. I mean I guess I wanted her to kiss me. I don't like myself because I don't see what there is to like. Here I am this fucked up kid who finds the worst ways to survive my shitty life, but I keep getting people to fall in love with me without trying..." She explained.

"Because you're easy to love honey. You may think you're not but you **are**. Anyone who doesn't love you is stupid to not see what a gift you are." Olivia said, hugging her close.

"Why?" Gen asked softly, as a fresh batch of tears began to fall from her eyes.

Olivia stroked them away and just looked into her eyes, seeing the fear, the vulneralbility, the hurt and the longing in them.

Gen looked away after a few moments and pushed off the couch.

"I'm hungry." She said, shrugging as she felt her mother's eyes on her.

Olivia jumped up from the couch and followed her.

"Do you want me to make you something?" She asked. "I'll make you whatever you want or order whatever you want!" She said, happily.

Gen looked up at her mother as she stood beside her in the doorway of the kitchen and fiddled with the cuffs of her sweatshirt.

"I'd like to eat a food I haven't let myself have in a really long time..." She said quietly, like she was revealing a deep secret.

Olivia looked at her, smiling expectantly.

"Can we order a pizza? Pepperoni?" Gen asked, with a doe-eyed look.

Olivia grabbed her into a huge hug.

"We can order the largest, cheesiest pepperoni pizza if you want it! I'm so proud of you!" Olivia squealed.

"One step a time." Gen choked out, it was muffled because she was still buried in her mother's front.

Olivia pulled her away and nodded.

"What's come over you?" She asked.

Gen chewed at her bottom lip and looked at the floor.

"I just ... I don't want to die and leave you alone ..." She said.

"Aww baby I would never let that happen!" Olivia said, squeezing her hands gently.

"I know ..." Gen said.

* * *

Alex came home at 7 to find her two favorite girls on the couch watching _**LOL**_.

"Hey baby." She said, bending down and kissing Olivia.

Olivia smiled, whispered 'hey' and accepted the kiss before turning her attention back to the movie.

Gen looked up and smiled at her amiably. Since the trial and her jealous outburst she had started to grow fond of the blonde. She knew Alex was no threat and she observed how she treated her mother and the affection she showed towards her.

"Alex?" Gen asked, popping a few pieces of popcorn into her mouth.

"Yes ..." Alex turned towards her, waiting attentively.

Gen crinkled her eyebrows together.

Olivia looked between the two of them before reaching for her Coke on the coffee table.

"When are you going to move in here with me and mom?" Gen asked.

Olivia spewed her drink and began coughing and sputtering, her eyes wide in surprise.

Alex just sat there in shock.

After a few moments of the initial surprise wearing off she turned to see two sets of dark brown looking at her expectantly.

"Liv?" Alex asked.

"Since the kid got here she's pretty much called the shots. I'm for it! Don't know why I didn't think of it myself!" Olivia said, with a huge grin.

"I have a mom who's pretty awesome, actually totally amazing ... so my life could only get better having two moms. I want us to be a family. A real one ..." Gen paused, as she felt tears prickling behind her eyes.

"Because I've never had one before." She said, sniffing, trying to keep the tears at bay.

Alex was overwhelmed at that moment.

"Y- you want me to move in? You want another mom?" She asked, making sure she had heard the girl right.

Gen nodded.

"I love you and I know you love mom and me. You're here all the time anyways ... it just makes sense." She said, shrugging.

"Then I'll give up my apartment. There's no place I'd rather be than with my two favorite girls!" Alex said, as happy tears trailed down her face.

"Well Ms. Cabot I'd like to officially welcome you to the Benson household." Olivia said, wrapping her arms around her girlfriends neck and pressing her lips to hers.

"Mooooom ... mommma!? Do ya'll have to do that right now?" Gen whined.

They broke apart and giggled.

"Get use to it kiddo." Alex said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Ok ok." Gen said, holding her arms out defensively.

"Before things get too mushy up in here ... can we get back to the movie?" Gen asked.

"Alright." Olivia and Alex answered simultaneously.

* * *

After the excitement of the day had died down Gen snuck away to the safety of her room. She spied her phone on her nightstand and picked it up, checking it. Haylee had called and text her and it warmed her heart seeing that. It was late and she didn't know if she was awake or not so she text her.

_R u awake?_

It seemed like hours had passed before her screen lit up with a reply.

_Yes. Listen Gen about earlier today ... I'm sorry. I promised u I would never do anything u didn't want me to and then I kissed u. I'm really sorry. Pls forgive me. _

Gen smiled at her phone. To her it was just a confirmation that Haylee meant everything she said.

_Dw about it. It wasn't ur fault. I still have some issues w/everything that's happened... ur kiss was nice ;)_

_It didn't weird you out?! Like? Are u telling me I have a shot w/u?!_

_LOL Ive nevr done this before ... relationships & love I mean. It doesn't matter that ur a girl so thats not the issue. I am... but if u want to take the shot then yes u have one :)_

_I do want it very much! When can I see u?_

_How about we have a sleepover this wknd? _

_Ur mom cool w/that? I mean u probably told her about it. _

_I did and she's cool. As long as u remain a total gentle-woman lol_

_Ur in good hands ... trust me pls?_

_K. Will u do me a favor? _

_Anything_

_Will u get rid of the speed? It's bad biz. I never used before and the 1 time I did I hurt my mom and I don't want to do that evr again. _

_I'm so sorry! I nevr should have given it to u! Yes, yes. I'll stop for u. _

_TY Haylee._

_Ur welcome Gen. Ima go to sleep. Can I call u tmr?_

_Yes :) _

Gen placed her phone on the charger and smiled to herself. Haylee was willing to give up drugs for her, Alex was moving in. Maybe she was finally getting some happiness in the darkness that had been her life for so long. As long as Olivia didn't find out Haylee was the one who gave Gen the drugs, everything would go as planned. She could see herself happy with Haylee. She slept undisturbed by nightmares that night and woke up in a good mood.

* * *

It was Friday afternoon and Olivia had agreed to let Haylee stay the whole weekend as long as it was ok with her parents. It was settled and Haylee would go straight to Gen's after school.

Promptly at 3:35 there was a light knock on the door. It was Haylee! She was here!

Gen looked at herself in the new mirror on the back of her door fussing over her outfit before rushing out to the living room.

Olivia had just ushered Haylee inside the house.

"Hey." Haylee said, nervously as she looked Gen up and down.

Haylee knew at that moment she would always be breatheless at the sight of her. Gen was beautiful and she wanted to help her see that.

Gen gave her a wide smile and rolled her eyes.

"Hey!" She said.

Haylee stepped closer, slowly and held out a small bouquet of lavendar and white roses.

Gen's mouth fell open. She knew what those colors meant. A tangle bouquet professing Haylee's love and that she thought Gen was worthy of being revered. A warmth flooded through her and she wanted to cry, but not because she was upset. She was happy.

Olivia just stood back in awe. It warmed her heart seeing Haylee's show of affection towards her daughter.

"Why don't I put these in water, order the food and get some drinks while you two pick out the movie?" Olivia suggested.

Gen shook her head.

"Yeah ... Yeah good idea mom!" She said.

Once they were seated on the couch and Gen accessed the Netflix account, she looked at Haylee.

'Beautiful' She thought.

"What is it?" Haylee asked, getting self-concious under Gen's gaze.

"You're beautiful." Gen whispered in her ear.

Haylee blushed.

"Thank you."

"What are you in the mood to watch?" Gen asked.

"I'm up for anything." Haylee said, flirtatiously.

"Do you want to watch the Batman movies?" Gen asked.

"Sure." Haylee said, scooting closer to Gen.

Gen selected the first movie and pressed start and settled against the cushions.

* * *

After watching three of the batman movies and eating a pizza and a half the girls were tired. They left Alex and Olivia in the living room. They were laying side by side in Gen's bed, looking at the ceiling.

"Are you having fun?" Gen asked, turning her head to face Haylee.

"Yes. I'm having a good time." Haylee said, turning her whole body towards Gen.

"Good. What do you want to do tomorrow?" Gen asked.

"Will you go on a date with me?" Haylee asked.

"I've never been on one before..." Gen said.

"Your moms can come. I just want to have a picnic in the park." Haylee said in between giggles.

Gen visibly relaxed.

"Ok. It sounds fun. Let's do it."

Haylee grabbed Gen's slender hand and laced their fingers together.

"Can I ask a question?" She asked.

"Of course." Gen answered.

"How are you so skinny?" Haylee asked.

"I have and eating disorder, I don't want to tell you anymore because I'll disgust you." Gen said, turning away.

Haylee cupped her face.

"No you won't. You won't disgust me. Tell me." She whispered.

"I starve sometimes and I eat and throw up my food at other times..." Gen said.

"I don't want you to do it anymore." Haylee said, bringing Gen's hands to her lips.

Electricity shot through Gen's body at the touch.

'Wow.' She thought.

"Can I ask you a question?" Gen asked.

"Anything." Haylee replied softly.

"Will you ... kiss me again?" Gen asked.

Haylee raised herself up over Gen, supporting her weight on her free hand and locked her lips onto Gen's briefly.

"Goodnight Gen." Haylee said, drifting off with her hand still laced in Gen's.

"Goodnight."Gen said softly.

* * *

**In my opinion this chapter was so sticky sweet- I think I may have cavaties the next time I see the dentist. Review me :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: More fluff and maybe a little angst but ya'll should expect that from me by now.**

* * *

**Chapter 25: I'm Broken Too **

The next morning Haylee woke up to find Gen molded into her body, she smiled and brushed raven locks away from the back of her neck before placing a soft kiss to the silky, carmel skin.

Gen sighed but didn't stir, she unconciously moved herself impossibly closer into Haylee.

Haylee got up gently and quietly exited the bedroom, rubbing at her eyes as she walked into the bathroom to shower. When she was dry and dressed she found her girlfriend still sleeping so she decided to surprise her with breakfast. When she walked into the kitchen she spotted Olivia and Alex cooking and speaking in hushed tones.

"Good morning Ms. Benson, Ms. Cabot." She said, stifling a yawn.

"Please call me Olivia Haylee." Olivia said with a friendly smile.

"You may call me Alex." Alex said.

"Olivia and Alex then." Haylee said, returning the smile.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you..." Haylee began.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked. "Where's Gen?" She started to head towards her daughter's bedroom.

"She's still asleep." Haylee said quickly.

"Oh..." Olivia said relieved.

"Anyway I wanted to talk to you about ... well with your permission ... I'd like to take Gen on a date this afternoon. A picnic in the park. You guys can come too..." Haylee said, a slight blush creeping to her cheeks.

"Of course you may. I'll prepare the food. It'll be fun!" Olivia said.

"So Haylee, what are your intentions with our Genesis?" Alex asked teasingly.

"I know we're young but I promise both of you I'd never do anything to hurt her. We've been friends for a year and she never told me about ..." Haylee paused, swallowing the lump forming in her throat. "I knew I loved her for sure 6 months ago." She said.

Alex looked to Olivia, "That's good enough for me Liv."

"Good enough for me too. But I'm afraid it's totally up to Gen what happens between you two." Olivia said. "Go easy on her." She added after a moments pause.

"I thought I'd surprise her with breakfast." Haylee said, looking back and forth between the two women.

"She may argue with you..." Olivia warned.

"I'll take my chances. She's really skinny, she needs to eat." Haylee said stubbornly.

"No I don't!" Gen snapped.

Alex, Olivia and Haylee all turned around in surprise to face a slightly pissed off Gen.

"Good morning gorgeous." Haylee said, moving towards her.

"Stop right there, Haylee Masterson!" Gen snapped.

Haylee paused and looked helplessly at her girlfriend.

"I wake up to find my moms and my new girlfriend plotting against me? WHAT THE FUCK?!" Gen roars.

"Babe we weren't-"Haylee began, but was soon cut off.

"Shove it!" Gen said.

"Gen what is going on with you this morning?" Alex asked.

Gen looked at her other mother and tears started streaming down her face.

"I woke up and Haylee was gone, I got up and looked for you and mom, you were all gone. I thought you all left me..." Gen said between sobs.

Haylee rushed to her girlfriends side and hugged her.

"I didn't leave, I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed and ask your moms if it was ok if we had that picnic this afternoon." Haylee said, kissing Gen's forehead.

Olivia frowned and slowly made her way over to her daughter, placing a hand on her back and rubbing circles.

"You know I won't even ever think about leaving you sweetheart." Olivia said in a soothing tone.

* * *

After coaxing Gen into eating, Haylee waited for her in her room while she showered and dressed. She was lost in her thoughts about how two people with so much in common had managed to find each other. She admired her girlfriend because she had never told anyone and for so long she had used her drug habit to cope, now that she no longer had that blanket of security, she wondered if it was time to finally tell someone.

'What will Gen think of me?' Haylee thought.

Last night sleeping with Gen curled beside her she felt safe, no matter how short the feeling of safety would be. Her thought process was interrupted when Gen burst back into the room.

"Mom's making the food for our picnic!" She squealed excitedly.

"Great." Haylee said, with a smile that didn't quite brighten her whole face.

Gen sat beside her on the bed and cupped her face between her hands.

"Hey, you ok? What's wrong?" Gen asked concerned.

"We are so much alike..." Haylee whispered.

"What?" Gen asked confused.

"I said we are so much alike... I'm broken too..." Haylee began. "You know why I use to always be high?" She asked rhetorically. "I'm always high because when I'm at home my stepdad is always drunk and it makes him mean. He beats me sometimes and he ... he..." She said, running her fingers through her hair frantically.

"What Haylee? Tell me." Gen said lacing their fingers together.

"He rapes me!" Haylee said, falling into Gens arms.

Gen sat still, she was unprepared for what she had just been told.

'How can it be?' She thought.

Haylee had always seemed so happy. She started to cry because she knew the pain her girlfriend felt. She stroked her hair and held her tight.

"Haylee, you have to tell my mom. She can help you." Gen said.

Haylee looked up at Gen and shook her head.

"I can't! I can never tell anyone! If I tell we'll lose everything! My mom can't know about this!" Haylee hissed.

"Hay, please. My mom does this for a living. I'll hold your hand and be by you the whole time, unless it's something you don't want me to hear." Gen said.

Haylee stared into Gen's eyes for long moments before biting her lip and nodding.

"Moooom! Can you come in here!" Gen called.

Olivia appeared in the doorway a moment later.

"What's going on?" Olivia asked.

"Is momma here?" Gen asked.

"She went out to get some stuff for the picnic, what's up?" Olivia said.

"You might wanna sit down..." Gen warned.

Olivia grabbed the chair from Gen's desk and pulled it up beside the bed.

Gen squeezed Haylee's hand, encouraging her to tell her story.

"I- I can't." Haylee whispered, as fresh tears flowed down her face.

"Can't what?" Olivia asked.

Olivia instantly went into mama lion mode. Something was wrong with Haylee.

"Do you want me to tell her?" Gen asked.

Haylee nodded.

"Mom she's being abused." Gen said.

"How?" Olivia asked.

She looked at Haylee who kept her head down.

"Haylee, Gen told you what I do for a living right? If someone's hurting you, you can tell me and I can help you..." Olivia said, softly.

Haylee nodded but still wouldn't look at Olivia.

Olivia noticed a blush creeping up the latino's neck.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. I'm not going to judge you." Olivia tried again, reaching out for the girls free hand.

"Hay, please tell my mom, you will feel better. You can be safe again." Gen said.

Haylee looked up and met Olivia's eyes as fat, hot tears spilled down her cheeks.

"It took a longtime to admit it was happening..." Haylee began. "I knew he wasn't my dad but he had been the only father I had ever known. The night of my thirteenth birthday he came into my room and said he was there to collect. He got into bed with me and..." Her lips began to quiver and her voice became thick, she shook her head.

Olivia squeezed her hand.

"Haylee... Did your father rape you?" Olivia asked.

Haylee nodded.

"This has been going on all year?" Olivia asked.

"Yes.." She answered shakily.

"I can't call this in because I'm involved with my unit's ADA so I'm going to have to call in another detective, sweetheart. We'll get him don't worry." Olivia said, getting up and calling the station.

Gen kissed her girlfriends cheek and held her tight.

"See? I told you my mom would help you. She's not going to let him touch you ever again" Gen said.

* * *

Alex, Olivia, Gen and Haylee finally got to have that picnic in the park. Alex and Olivia watched Haylee with concern after revealing such a painful secret.

"Do you think it's a good idea we let them be together?" Olivia asked worriedly.

"Liv what could be better?" Alex asked. "Two broken people have found each other. Maybe they are what the other needs to heal. We'll be there for both of them." She said, sipping her coke.

Olivia leaned over and captured the blondes lips and sighed when she deepened the kiss, they broke apart when they felt cool liquid splashed onto them. They stared into the mischevious glance of their daughter and her accomplice.

Gen shrugged.

"We thought you guys needed to cool off." She grinned.

Alex and Olivia looked at each other before grabbing a bottle of water and soaking each of the girls.

After their water fight the four returned to the apartment dripping wet and happy.

* * *

**Review me :)**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: I was thinking we were overdue for some BenBot smut...**

* * *

**Chapter 26: It's been 3 days...**

Alex walked through the house checking all the doors and windows, making sure the house was secure. She peeked into Gen's room to see her and Haylee sound asleep, she smiled and closed the door softly behind her. When she opened the door to her bedroom her mouth dropped open, Olivia was posed on the bed wearing nothing but purple lace. Alex immediately felt wetness pool between her legs. She stared for a few long moments, wondering if her body would never not respond to the brunette.

"Liv..." She said breathlessly.

"It's been 3 days since you've touched me, now either you get in this bed and make love to me until I beg you to stop or ill just have to fuck myself..." Olivia said innocently.

"_fuck myself_" Alex watched the words fall from her girlfriends full, pouty lips and she became hypnotized. She could deny Olivia nothing. She nearly tore her clothes off before jumping on the bed, pushing her lover flat onto her back and straddling her. She layed flush on top of the brunette and locked their lips together, sighing blissfully when her tongue was stroked with her lovers. She raised up and ground her hips into Olivia's, moaning as her core met the brunette's lace covered one. She trailed her hands over her lovers sides, barely touching with her fingertips, before cupping her firm breasts in her palms and massaging them softly. She leaned down and latched onto a pert nipple through the lace of the brunette's bra, while continuing to massage the other to delicious hardness.

"_Mmm Lex_" Olivia moaned.

Her back arched off the bed as Alex bit down onto her nipple.

Alex reached around and unclapsed the bra, pulling it off and dropping the garment onto the floor. Then she turned her attention to the other breast while she massaged the one she just had in her mouth with the pad of her thumb. She sucked, swirled and nipped at the tender peak, earning her moans, squeaks and a few curses from the woman below her.

Olivia could feel the fire burning in the pit of her stomach. She was sure she could come from the nipple play alone if Alex kept it up. She raised her hips upwards and locked eyes with her lover.

"Patience baby." Alex purred in her ear.

Alex leaned down and licked the underside of Olivia's right breast.

"_Fuck_!" Olivia cried.

Alex climbed off of Olivia and rolled onto her stomach. She reached for the knob of the bottom drawer of the nightstand and pulled it open, grabbed an item and closed it again. She rolled back over to face the brunette with a mischevious gleam in her eye.

Olivia looked at the large black strap on in her lovers hands and felt impossibly wetter. She was so turned on!

"Leeeex..." She whined.

Alex stood and guided the harness up her long legs, tightening the straps around her hips. She climbed back on top of Olivia and began a trail of kisses from the brunette's pulsepoint to the waistband of her underwear. She hooked her index fingers into the fabric at her lovers hips and pulled them all the way down to her feet, before tossing them over her shoulder. She kissed her way up smooth olive skin before gently spreading those velvety thighs. She blew softly onto the glistening core, loving the squeal that emitted from her girlfriend. She lay flush with the brunette and connected their lips once more, snaking a hand between their bodies and running a finger through Olivia's dripping wet slit.

"_Mmmm ... Lex baby please..._" Olivia moaned, breaking apart from Alex's mouth and dragging her nails down the blonde's back.

Alex hissed in approval. She supported her weight on one hand, while she placed the tip of her appendage at Olivia's entrance with the other. She slowly pushed into her, letting her adjust. She lay flush with the brunette and hooked her arms underneath her lovers, clutching toned olive shoulders in her hands and began thrusting in and out in a steady pace.

"_oh ... ahh... baby... shit_!" Olivia moaned.

Alex's eyes rolled into the back of her head as Olivia dug her nails into her skin and the base of the strap on rubbed against her clit.

"Wrap your legs around my waist baby" Alex panted out.

Olivia did what was requested and her eyes fluttered as she felt Alex go deeper into her. She raised up and latched onto the blonde's pulsepoint, not letting go until she was sure she had marked her.

Alex began to pound into Olivia, loving the moans and hisses coming from the woman below her as their bodies made a pleasant slapping sound.

"_nng...ahh...fuck...shit...don't stop._" Was all Olivia could choke out.

"Are you gonna come baby?" Alex asked.

"_y-yes fuck yes...just keep going!_" Olivia cried.

Alex quickened her pace and pressed her thumb onto Olivia's clit and rubbed furiously. Cutting off the scream off ecstacy that poured from her lovers open mouth with her own. She swallowed every moan as the brunette rode the tidal wave of her orgasm and collapsed next to the brunette, panting heavily.

"Do you feel better?" Alex asked.

Olivia looked over at her and burst into a fit of laughter.

"Much, thanks!" She said, wrapping herself around Alex's porcelain frame, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

* * *

**In Gen's room...**

Haylee and Gen had been awoken by some noises. When it finally died down they gaped at eachother.

" Sooo...I'm pretty sure we just heard my moms having sex..." Gen said awkwardly.

Haylee shook her head, "Eww. But atleast they finally stopped."

"Let's go back to sleep." Gen said laying her head on Haylee's shoulder and drifting off.

* * *

**I had to give ya'll something before I go off on vacation. Review me :)**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Tension between Olivia and Genesis**

* * *

**Chapter 27: The Note**

It had been a day since Haylee had opened up about her rape she had been getting closer with Gen. Olivia would just sit and watch them together and she couldn't help but marvel at how the girls seemed to mend each other. It was really incredible to watch. When they returned from Haylee's house after telling her mother what had been going on, Olivia had been enraged. Haylee's mother called her a "life ruining jealous slut". Olivia couldn't believe the woman dared to even suggest that Haylee had seduced the pervert!

"Lex, I can't believe the nerve of that woman!" Olivia yelled.

"Calm down Liv." Alex said soothingly, as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend.

"She said that if it really happened then Haylee must have wanted it! Are you fucking kidding me?!" Olivia ranted, running her fingers through her hair before tying it up into a hairclip.

"What are you going to do? Beat some sense into her?" Alex asked sarcastically.

"Don't tempt me!" Olivia growled.

They heard someone clear their throat and both women turned to face Haylee and Gen, standing in the doorway of the kitchen with their mouths open.

Gen was a little scared, she had never heard her mother talk that way and even though she knew her mother would never hurt her she was still slightly frightened by her words.

"Shit!" Olivia said.

She moved towards Gen only to have her back away from her and hang her head.

"Baby I'm sorry!" Olivia said.

She moved towards her daughter again and kneeled in front of her.

"Are you scared of me?" Olivia asked her quietly.

Gen looked up at her mother with tears in her eyes and nodded solemnly.

"I'm sorry honey, I get worked up sometimes during a case. You'll probably see this side of me more and more as this goes on and when I go back to work." Olivia explained.

Gen kneeled down, climbed into Olivia's lap and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck, burying her face in her front.

"Do you forgive me?" Olivia asked, wrapping her arms around her.

"Yes." Gen mumbled.

They parted and stood to see Alex and Haylee staring at them with a look of adoration.

Alex realized she would always be amazed at the bond between Olivia and Genesis. It was so beautiful to see.

"Did you girls want something?" Olivia asked.

"Oh yeah, now I remember!" Gen said.

Olivia looked at her expectantly.

"I know tomorrow's Monday but can Haylee stay the night? Her mom...well you were there and her mom just text her that she better stay away for awhile, uh, that's the nice version." Gen said.

"Of course." Alex said.

"Haylee, we want you to know that you're always welcome here." Olivia said.

"Thank you." Haylee said, meekly.

"Why don't you two go hangout and we'll start dinner." Alex said.

She nudged the two girls out of the kitchen. Then she walked to the sink and began washing her hands.

Olivia walked up behind her and kissed her neck.

"Did I ever tell you how amazing you are with our daughter?" She whispered.

"It means so much coming from you. I love her...so much." Alex said.

* * *

"Your moms are awesome!" Haylee said.

"Thank you. They have to be pretty special, putting up with me, as you know is a full time job." Gen said, with a cheeky smile.

"You are so cute!" Haylee said.

She pulled Gen into her arms and on top of her.

Gen gasped then gulped loudly. Her breathe hitched when Haylee began to gently run her fingertips down her spine. They stared into each other eyes for long moments, inhaling the others breathe that was exhaled.

"Do you want me to stop?" Haylee asked softly.

Gen shook her head, causing her hair to fall in her face like a waterfall.

Haylee gently brushed raven locks out of Gen's face and cupped her cheek.

"You are so beautiful. I love you Genesis. So much." Haylee said, her voice thick with emotion.

Gen tried to look away and climb off of Haylee, she wasn't used to this. Haylee held her in place. She huffed frustratedly and scrunched her face.

"You're really cute when you scrunch your face like that." Haylee said with a chuckle.

She leaned up and connected their lips and smiled into the kiss when she felt Gen relax and kiss her back just as hungrily.

* * *

While Alex finished up the last touches on dinner, Olivia began straightening up the living room. As she was lining up the magazines in the magazine rack she found Gen's journal. When she picked it up a slip of paper fell out. She bent down to pick it up and curiously read it.

**_Genesis, _**

**_I'm so sorry about what happened to you when you were spun out. I never should have given you the speed. I'm so sorry. I'm so glad we were able to put that behind us and start something wonderful out of a dark hell we both share. _**

**_Always yours,_**

**_Haylee._**

Olivia crumpled up the slip of paper angrily in her hand. She was seeing red.

'Haylee uses drugs? She gave my daughter drugs?!' She thought lividly.

She stormed towards Gen's bedroom and threw the door open. Her temper flared when she found both the girls topless.

"HELL NO!" Olivia roared.

"M-mom!" Gen said, covering her chest.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Olivia shouted.

She threw the note at Haylee.

"Did you write that?!" She yelled.

Haylee unballed the ball of paper and read it, then hung her head.

Gen snatched it from her and clenched her jaw.

"Where did you find this?!" Gen shouted.

"Don't shout at me! I'm the mother so I do the shouting!" Olivia snapped.

Alex came into the room looking confused.

"What's going on-?"

Her question stopped short when she saw her daughter and her girlfriend topless.

"Oh..." She said, blushing.

"You wanna know what's going on? I'll tell you!" Gen snapped.

"Mom read my journal!" She shouted pointing at Olivia.

"I didn't read it. I found it in the magazine rack and when I picked it up, the note fell out of it!" Olivia retorted.

"I'm so sorry Olivia. Ever since Gen told me what happened to her when she took the drugs I stopped using. I didn't mean to hurt her." Haylee said through sobs.

Olivia growled, "You could have killed her!"

"I'm not dead if you recall!She said she was sorry!" Gen snapped.

"That's a dead issue but what the hell were you two up too?!" Olivia snapped back.

"Isn't it obvious!?" Gen yelled.

"Oh no, uh uh that is not going to happen! Get dressed! Haylee you're moving to office." Olivia said.

"Please mom! I love her I just wanna be with her!" Gen cried, hot tears of anger streamed down her face.

"Let's go Haylee." Alex said quietly.

"Haylee!" Gen cried.

She jumped out of her bed and ran into her girlfriends arms. She kissed her fiercely.

Haylee wiped the tears from her face.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered.

Gen stood there crying and shook her head as she watched her other mother guide her girlfriend away.

Olivia came up behind her and turned her towards her.

"What were you thinking? Huh? Answer me!" Olivia scolded, while slightly shaking her.

"I love her mom, I love her. Why can't I be with her? Why?" Gen pleaded softly as tears continued to stream down her face.

"Because you're not ready! Neither one of you are!You can't handle the emotions sex brings along with it!" Olivia said, raising her voice.

"That's not true! Maybe I would feel better! Maybe I wouldn't feel him on me every second!" Gen snapped, wrenching out of her mother's grasp.

"No! You know what? Absolutely not! You're 13! No!" Olivia shouted.

"I hate you!" Gen screamed.

Olivia froze.

Gen threw herself face first into her pillows and wailed heartbrokenly.

Olivia sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, she reached out cautiously and placed her hand on Gen's back.

Gen rolled over and looked at her mother.

"Don't touch me mom!" Gen cried.

Olivia bit her bottom lip and dropped her hands into her lap. Mother and daughter stared at each other wordlessly for a few moments before Olivia stood up and started to exit the room.

"We'll talk in the morning." She said sadly.

* * *

She closed the door to her daughter's sobbing and silently walked into her own bedroom. She looked up to see Alex sitting on the bed. Dinner had been forgotten and Olivia now had no appetite.

"How is she?" Olivia asked, in reference to Haylee.

"She's upset Liv. Just as upset as our daughter." Alex said.

She motioned for Olivia to join her on the bed. She wrapped her arms around her once she did.

"She said she hates me Lex." Olivia said softly.

"She's a teenager Liv, they say that all the time." Alex said, kissing her temple.

"What if I really fucked things up with her?" Olivia asked.

"What's the whole story anyway?" Alex asked.

"That day when Gen came home high, Haylee was the one that gave her the drugs." Olivia said.

"You had every right to be angry Liv, You're her mother. And I think with everything going on they should not be having sex right now or ever until Gen is 30" Alex said.

"Easy tiger, you gonna stand at the door and scare off anyone that comes near her?" Olivia asked.

"You know it. I should get a gun." Alex said, wiggling her eyebrows.

Olivia rolled her eyes, leaned in and pressed her lips onto her girlfriends.

"I love you Alex." She said, looking to calm pools of blue.

"I love you too."

"We should sleep. We'll be having a long talk in the morning." Olivia said wearily.

They both stripped off their clothing and climbed into bed. After they tangled themselves together, they drifted off, the exhaustion of the evening's events washing over them.

**Review me**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I am so sorry! This update has taken too long. I'm an actress and I just finished my first play last Sunday. Then I took this week to recoop and relax. But I promise I'll get back to updating at least once a week. Please forgive me. I love you all!**

**Trigger Warning: Suicide attempt and SH ideation. **

* * *

**Chapter 28: When You Hate Your Life...**

The next morning Olivia woke up and went into Gen's room to check on her and found her curled up in a tight ball saying "No, please stop, I'm sorry" while she clutched at her pillow.

'The nightmares are back' Olivia thought.

She sat on the edge of the bed and peeled the covers back and shook her daughter's shoulder.

"Wake up sweetie, you're safe. Wake up." She cooed.

"No!" Gen cried, as she sat up and looked around the room.

"Mom?" Gen asked.

"Yes baby it's me." Olivia said.

"Why didn't you tell me you were having nightmares again?" She asked.

Gen looked into her mother's eyes, shrugged and looked away.

"Hey, talk to to me." Olivia said.

"I don't have anything to say." Gen said deadpan.

"Are you pulling away from me because of last night?" Olivia asked.

Gen narrowed her eyes at her mother.

"Look, I'm sorry I might have overreacted, a little but you had no business doing what you were about to be doing!" Olivia said.

Gen remained silent.

"We have to talk about this. Last night and the nightmares. All of it." Olivia said.

Gen crossed her arms.

"Whatever." She said.

Gen got out of bed and walked over to her closet, pulling out a sweatset and her running shoes. She dressed herself quickly and tied her hair up into a bun.

"I'm going running." She said.

Olivia stood and crossed the room to her.

"No way in hell are you going running young lady! You will not start that again!" Olivia shouted.

Gen shrugged out of Olivia's arms.

"I am going running." She said stubbornly, stomping her foot.

Alex entered the room, looking bewildered.

"What's the matter?" She asked.

"Nothing Mama, I'm going running." Gen said, squeezing past Alex and heading for the door.

With all the commotion Haylee woke up and was standing in the hall. Gen rushed into her arms and hugged her. "Come with me." She whispered into her ear.

Haylee grabbed a sweater as Gen laced their fingers together and led them both out of the house.

Olivia threw her hands up into the air, and punched the wall.

"Perfect!" She shouted.

Alex reached for her and pulled her close.

"Shh, they'll be back Liv. Then we can talk." She said reassuringly.

"She's pulling away from me!" Olivia said, as tears of sadness and frustration fell from her eyes.

"She's a teenager Liv, it's to be expected." Alex said.

"No! Not _my _teenager!" Olivia cried.

* * *

Olivia cleaned and recleaned the apartment while she wait for Haylee and Gen to return. Alex tried to get her to sit down and relax but she was so worked up she couldn't. Finally around 11:30 the door opened and both girls entered breathing heavily and soaked with sweat. Gen looked about ready to collapse and Alex immediately had her in her arms.

"Are you alright?" Alex asked concerned.

"I'm fine Mama." Gen said.

"I finally convinced her to come back. We ran 3 miles." Haylee said, catching her breathe.

Olivia walked over to Haylee and pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you." She said.

Olivia looked over at her daughter and held out her free arm.

Gen pulled away from Alex and stormed towards her room, slamming the door behind her.

"Did she say anything?" Olivia asked, looking down at Haylee.

"She was mad, really mad but I don't think she's mad about last night anymore. I couldn't really get her to talk to me. She just said the nightmares were back and that she hates herself and her life..." Haylee said sadly.

Olivia ran to Gen's door and tried the handle finding it locked.

"Gen! Sweetie open the door. Let's talk." Olivia said, knocking on the door.

"Go away!" Gen screamed, choking on her sobs.

Gen sat crossed legged on her bed, staring down at the razor in her hands.

"Just unlock the door honey, please." Olivia begged.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Gen screeched.

Alex walked over to the door and tapped it lightly.

"Gen it's your Mama, why don't you open the door and we can sit and talk about what's bothering you?" She asked, pressing herself against the door.

Gen picked up her shoe and chucked it at the door.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screamed.

She put the razor down, pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged herself. She thought about her life and about how everything reminded her of _him. _She hated herself so much. She even hated herself for breathing. She just wanted it all to end.

Alex looked over at Olivia and said, "We're gonna have to break down the door..."

"Get back." Olivia ordered.

Once Haylee and Alex were at a safe distance, Olivia brought a leg up towards her chest and kicked the door open, busting the frame in the process. She ran in and saw the razor on the bed, she pulled at Gen's arms and raised the sleeves relieved to see she hadn't cut herself. She pulled Gen into her arms and kissed her head.

"What is going on with you? Talk to me!" Olivia said.

Gen wrenched away from her and ran out of the room storming into the bathroom, slamming the door in Haylee's face.

Alex went in after her and found her struggling to open a bottle of aspirin. She grabbed at it and they fought over it.

"NO GIVE ME IT!" Gen shouted.

"No baby please talk to us! Tell us what's wrong!" Alex pleaded.

"WHAT'S WRONG IS I CAN'T GET THIS BOTTLE OPEN!" Gen shouted.

Olivia came in and grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to the floor.

"GET OFF ME MOM! LET ME DO IT! LET ME DIE!" Gen shouted.

"No! I can't I love you! I know you hate yourself right now, but this is not the answer!" Olivia cried.

Gen struggled against both her mothers until she got tired and then she slumped in Olivia's arms.

* * *

Once they calmed her down enough to move her Alex and Olivia moved her to the couch. Olivia grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"...I've been having nightmares and I hate myself and my life and I just want it to end. I want to end myself." Gen said softly.

"You could have come to us." Alex said.

"I know Mama but I felt like I had put you both through too much already." Gen said.

Alex shook her head and tears began to flow.

"You could never put us through too much. We're a family. We will go through it all with you. Don't you understand that we love you and we will fight for you?" Olivia said.

"But when you hate your life this much, it doesn't matter who you love or who loves you mom. I can't see past my pain and I know that makes me sound selfish. I hurt everyday. I try not to get too wrapped up in it but sometimes it's all I see and hear and feel." Gen said quietly, as tears fell from her eyes.

"It doesn't make you sound selfish. I just wish you would see that you can come to us. That it's ok. No matter what you're feeling. Don't start pushing us away." Olivia said.

"Ok. And Mom, Mama I'm sorry about what I almost did last night. Me and Haylee talked about it while we were gone and we decided that until we were both ready we wouldn't rush things." Gen said.

"I think that's very grown up and fair of a decision for the two of you to make." Alex said.

Gen wrapped an arm around each of her Mothers necks and pulled them closer to her.

"I love you. I love all of you. So much." She said softly.

**I was going to drag out the mother/daughter drama a bit longer but it seems my muse had other plans... Review me**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Sorry sorry sorry! It took me so long to update this because I got stuck and life interrupted. I'm sorry :/. TRIGGER WRN: Suicide Attempt. There's a huge twist in this one! **

* * *

**Chapter 29: In Crisis**

Over the next few days Alex and Olivia watched as Gen became worse. Worse in the sense she began to isolate herself, eat even less and sleep very little. One morning at breakfast they had finally had enough.

"Maybe we need to put you someplace." Alex said worriedly.

Gen snapped her head up and looked at her Mothers with wide eyes. "What?" She snapped.

"You heard your momma. You're getting worse. We've been watching you. We know something is going on." Olivia said.

"I'm fine." Gen said, pushing away from the table. She didn't want to have this particular conversation with them. She knew how it would end. She was just tired. She had given up on herself. No matter how many people loved her, she just couldn't accept it. The only thing she felt for herself was hatred. She stormed down the hall towards her room and slammed the door shut behind her. Locking it. Then she began screaming and punching the wall.

Olivia and Alex looked at each other and raced towards their daughter's bedroom. They both started knocking on the door. "Gen? Genesis? Sweetie? Open the door." Olivia said.

Gen stopped punching the wall and kicked the door. "FUCK OFF!" She shouted.

"Genesis Iyana Benson, you open this door this minute! Do you hear me?!" Olivia said, raising her voice. She was worried and scared at Gen's behavior.

"Gen please open the door. We just want to help you." Alex said.

Gen then screamed at the top of her lungs. "I'M DONE! I'M DONE! DON'T YOU GET IT?! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE! I'M RUINED!I HATE MYSELF! I'M A WASTE OF SPACE! FOR FUCK SAKE! GIVE ME YOUR GUN AND I'LL PUT MYSELF OUT OF MY MISERY!"

Alex looked at Olivia who mirrored her own expression of pure devastation and tear streaking their faces. "Liv, we can't keep it up like this. We are going to lose her. She's in crisis."

Olivia nodded. She knew Alex was right. Gen was really fragile right now. She was suicidal and the smallest thing could tip her off. They needed to get her help and fast!

"You keep her talking and I'll call Melinda over to give her a sedative so we can take her to the hospital?" Olivia asked through her sobs.

Alex nodded and turned her attention towards the door. "Gen, we're going to help you baby."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP MA!" Gen shouted. She more than hated herself for the way she was treating her parents, but she wanted to end herself. She couldn't take anymore. She was finished. Since the night she had almost slit her wrists but chose the bottle of aspirin instead, Olivia and Alex swept her room and removed all her razors. She wanted to cut so badly. She wanted to bury the blade into her arm and watch all her blood pool out. She just wanted to slip away. Then she got an idea, she would just hang herself from her ceiling fan. She walked over to her desk and slid her chair underneath the fan. Then she grabbed the belt from her bathrobe and tied one end around her neck. 'Perfect' She thought. She stood on the chair and tied the other end of the belt to the ceiling fan. She tugged on it a few times to make sure it was secure and then she placed one foot on the back of the chair. Just as she was getting ready to tip it her mother's and a woman she didn't recognize burst into the room.

Olivia was devastated and horrified beyond belief when she burst into Gen's room, finding her getting ready to hang herself. She rushed over to her just as the chair went from underneath her. "Lex! Hurry! Untie it or get a knife and cut it!" She shouted. Tears streamed down her face and she held Gen's squirming 89 pound frame against her. "It's going to be ok baby. Calm down! Shh!" She said. Alex returned with the knife and cut her down. Olivia lowered her to the floor and held her down. "Melinda, hurry!" Olivia begged.

Melinda kneeled down beside Gen and opened her medical bag. "This should calm her 'll drift off immediately" She said. She pulled out a syringe and an alcohol swab and placed them on the floor.

"Mom? Mommy? Who is she?" Gen asked, while she squirmed to get out of her mother's grasp.

Melinda raised her sleeve and began looking for a vein. When she found one she swabbed the skin. She raised the syringe and pulled the cap off, then tapped it to make sure there were no bubbles.

"What is that?! I don't want that! No!" Gen said, struggling more forcefully.

"Oww!" She cried as Melinda stuck her with the needle. Tears streamed down her face as she fell asleep almost immediately.

"Thank you Melinda." Olivia said tearfully. She grabbed the blanket off the foot of Gen's bed and wrapped her in it before lifting her into her arms.

"You're welcome. She reminded me of someone just then." Melinda said sadly. She followed Olivia and Alex into the hallway and towards the door.

"Who?" Olivia asked, as she looked down at her daughter cradled against her.

"My sister. She lost all three of her little girls. She drowned them." Melinda said with a sigh.

Olivia stopped and looked at Melinda with wide eyes.

"What? Olivia? What is it?" Melinda asked worriedly.

They were now at the car and she was placing Gen in the backseat.

"Your sister, is she still alive?" Olivia asked.

"Yes. She's back in the city actually. Why?" Melinda asked.

Olivia swallowed deeply and looked into Melinda's eyes. She could see a slight resemblance in the woman and her child. "Melinda I think, that uh...Genesis could be your niece..."

"Did you just call her Genesis?" Melinda asked, shocked.

"Yes." Olivia said.

Melinda looked over Olivia's shoulder at the sleeping girl in the backseat. "Oh my God! She didn't die?!" Tears started streaming down her face while she continued to stare at Gen with bewilderment and love.

**Review me! Gen's birth mom may or may not be here to stir up the pot even more. We shall see. **


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: First I want to thank all of you who have read, followed and favorited this story. It means a lot. When I first started writing this, it was just something I was doing for myself. I never expected. It would get so much attention. 54 Favorites, 134 follows, 42,927 views and 308 reviews. YOU all are incredible.**

**Second I want to apologize for taking a month to update. I was dealt a huge loss and it caused me to lose my muse. She seems to be perking up a bit. So I'll stop rambling and get on with the story. - AH xx**

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**Chapter 30: Waking Up**

Olivia stood outside the glass separating her from her daughter and chewed her lip anxiously, watching as Gen sat as still as a statue on the bed, lost somewhere in the recesses of her mind. She startled when someone cleared their throat behind her and diverted her attention.

"Oh! Melinda," She gasped. "What are you doing here?"

Melinda stepped forward and gazed at Gen through the glass and sighed. "I had to come Liv...how is she doing?" She asked.

"She's practically catatonic." Olivia said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Has she had a psych evaluation yet?" Melinda asked.

"Dr. Kerns will be here shortly...you haven't talked to your sister yet have you?" Olivia asked worriedly. She couldn't imagine what she would do if she came face to face with the woman who gave her child life. She had so many thoughts. 'What if she tries to take her from me?' 'What if she tries to hurt her again?' She wouldn't allow it. She'd kill for Genesis. She knew that from the moment she met her.

"No I haven't talked to Corrine. But Liv, this is huge. She's lived the past 10 years hating herself for what she has done...I can't let my sister live like that. I won't keep it from her for long." Melinda said firmly.

Olivia whipped around on Melinda and came toe to toe with her, slightly towering above her. "Wait a damn minute! You stand there telling me you wanna ease your sister's guilt and say what Melinda?! One of your girls survived so you can stop hating yourself now? No it doesn't work that way! Your sister was the first one to hurt her!" Olivia roared, pointing at Gen.

"I know..." Melinda said softly. "I know it left a huge scar on her heart, but maybe it could be healing for the both of them."

"You think I would let that woman within an inch of my daughter?! Then maybe you should be the one behind the glass!Because obviously you have lost your mind!" Olivia snapped.

"Hold on a minute Olivia." Melinda said, squaring her shoulders. "You think I don't care about Genesis? Of course I do. She's _my_ niece, she's _my_ blood. I would never put her in harms way. At least think about it. It can be on your terms however you wanna do it."

Olivia counted to 20 before she felt her boiling anger slowly ebb away. She released a deep breathe and sighed. "I will think about it." She said gruffly.

"Thank you. I have to get back to the lab. Keep me in the loop of her progress?" Melinda asked, making her way out of the room, glancing at her niece and Olivia.

Olivia nodded and turned her attention back to the window.

* * *

Gen was lost. She was somewhere dark and she couldn't seem to find her way out. She was just stuck and she wasn't even sure where exactly she was. She wanted her mother to come find her and make it better. Where was she? She felt abandoned and scared. 'Maybe it was all a didn't save me. Maybe I finally died.' She thought. 'If this is death it sucks more than being alive' She thought. She thought about her moms and Kaylee. She thought how everything is probably better for them now that's she gone.

Suddenly, or so it seemed she felt a stabbing pain all over her body. She was cold. So cold. The stabbing pain was covering her head to toe. She screamed outloud and it was like her eyes were sat up sputtering and coughing. Dr. Kerns and a couple of nurses were standing by watching her silently. She then realized she was in an ice bath. She looked around the room in a panic.

"Where's my mom?!" She started screaming and crying hysterically.

"Calm down. She's right outside that window. She can see and hear you." The Dr. said soothingly. "Glad you're waking up."

"I wasn't asleep you stupid bitch!" Gen yelled.

"Then what exactly was going on?" The Dr. asked, cocking her head to the said.

"I don't know! I thought I was dead and in Hell!" Gen snapped. She was highly pissed off. She just wanted her mom to come in the room and take her home.

"Why did you think you were dead?" The Dr. asked.

"Can you stop asking me all these damn questions? Why the hell am I in this ice cold water?" Gen snapped, gripping the sides of the tub and hoisting herself out.

"You were in a catatonic state. You were completely unresponsive." The Dr. answered.

"Well guess what? I'm responsive now! Geez I'm freezing!" She said as her teeth chattered.

The Dr. stepped forward with a towel and held it out to her.

Gen took hold of the towel and draped it around herself. "Thank you." She said quietly.

"I hope you understand you're not going home today." The Dr. said.

Gen just nodded and hung her head. 'I finally did it. I pushed mom's buttons and she doesn't want me anymore.' She thought.

**Looks like this will be a two part chapter. Hopefully it won't be long before I update again. I'm sorry it's so short and not very good. Love me anyway? **


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